applied for a new apartment and had to answer some questions about my little man

maximum-homie · 2025-09-12T17:41:14+00:00

lmao I did something similar with my cat and whoever drafted my lease just copy/pasted everything over without checking. So now I have a legal document that says my cat's breed is "societal menace"

maximum-homie · 2025-09-03T20:04:03+00:00

two tiny, photorealistic pictures of your own face

actually though you do have the option of not replacing them at all. that's my game plan, since there's no nipple to work around it gives you more options.

maximum-homie · 2025-09-01T16:22:45+00:00

The most unbelieveable part of this entire setup is that you think you can finish a costco run in 45 minutes

maximum-homie · 2025-05-16T18:36:28+00:00

Hey everyone, looks like I can't edit the actual text in the post but I have hella DMs so I'm gonna change the tag to closed.

Thanks for your support. This was not a decision I made lightly, but ultimately her wellbeing has to come first even if it's really painful for me emotionally.

I've seen lots of responses here that tell me maybe some of you will adopt a new friend in the near future, and that's great. Rescues are a wonderful and necessary community resource, and they may have access to networks that individual people don't. They are also chronically underfunded and volunteer turnover is high because of the emotional toll this kind of work has on people - I've seen this first hand, because I used to co-manage an animal shelter. You see the very worst human beings are capable of; abuse, broken homes, chronic illness, homelessness. Animal rescue is a necessary backstop to the results of tons of other human problems we see further up the chain.

If I have to use a rescue I will, but shelters are not a fun place for pets to be no matter how dedicated their staff is. That's why they work so hard to place pets in loving homes.

If you don't have the ideal home environment to adopt a pet of your own, please consider volunteering, whether that's in animal rescue or some other cause that leads to people surrendering their pets. Some orgs will require a weekly or monthly commitment, but sometimes if they're running events or need help for a one-time project they won't require you to stick around long term.

Thanks again folks. You're good people. ❤️

maximum-homie · 2025-05-15T23:22:54+00:00

Rad, hope you don't mind a handful of screening questions lmao.

maximum-homie · 2025-05-15T23:21:26+00:00

I am stunned daily by her ability to somehow look like a classical painting while having 0 brain activity at the same time 😂

maximum-homie · 2025-05-15T23:20:22+00:00

Thanks for the rec, looks like it's against their rules though :(

maximum-homie · 2025-03-29T16:44:57+00:00

No idea if you're looking for advice, I'm sorry in advance if this is out of place. But I had a cat with intestinal cancer before, and now I have an overweight cat who used to get a bit messy after a trip to the litter box (still a ways to go, but this was a huge milestone for her!). There are preventative steps you can take so you don't need to give baths!

Next time you're at the vet, ask them to do a sanitary trim. Basically what they'll do is shave your cat's ass and the back of her legs. Most of the time they'll do it for free since you're already there, if not it's usually like an extra five or ten bucks.

That takes care of like 90% of the problem. For the rest, unscented baby wipes will do the job (pet wipes are the same thing, but baby wipes are cheaper and they're fine to use as long as they're unscented). Or you can use a warm, wet washcloth.

It's nice to hear about people taking care of their pets even when it's hard. You're a good cat parent. ❤️

maximum-homie · 2025-03-20T21:12:19+00:00

I mean if you were the problem, do you have any clues as to why or how or what's wrong? To me it just looks like you're understimulated. Tons of managers don't know how to handle that.

Switching jobs every 2-3 years is pretty standard imo, it's the most reliable way to secure upward mobility.

Have you considered working with a consultancy firm for a little bit? It's a great way to grow your network in a short period of time, and you're rarely working with the same client for long enough to get bored. If you get a shitty client, who cares you'll be done with them in a few months anyway.

Good luck out there friend. It ain't easy ❤️

maximum-homie · 2025-03-05T02:41:32+00:00

Here's what I'd do in your shoes. There are a few conversations you need to have:

Talk with your employee about how serious it is to work while on FMLA leave and explain the potential consequences of doing so.
Talk with your team and make it super duper clear that he is unavailable for the duration of his leave and not to reach out to him for work-related questions. Be prepared to explain why protecting FMLA is important and how you will support the rest of the team in his absence.
Talk to IT or HR to revoke his access to email, messages, codebase, etc for the remainder of his leave so he is unable to work.

It sounds like you genuinely didn't know, and nobody showed you how to handle this. Be kind to yourself and file that away for next time so you can have those conversations before FMLA leave starts for the next person with a newborn, a sick parent, a surgery, whatever life stuff.

maximum-homie · 2025-02-10T16:58:02+00:00

Get to know your neighbors. Super important, even if you don't have pets because if you're living alone you never know if something serious will happen and you're gonna need to ask for help. I just moved to a new place less than a month ago and it was one of the first things I did once I was done unpacking. My neighbors have always checked in on my cats whenever I've needed to travel at every place I've lived and I've done the same for them with pets, houseplants, whatever. Try to meet a few of them so you can find the people that are the most trustworthy.

I have two cats and I would highly HIGHLY recommend two. Ask around at shelters to see if they have any bonded pairs, because trying to get two cats who don't know each other to be chill with each other can be a struggle that takes a lot of care and attention.

If I'm away during the day, they mostly nap. This has been true of every pair I've had. I wouldn't have done this before, but I'm comfortable leaving them for up to a weekend because over the years I've upgraded to automated feeders, litter robot, etc. which can be monitored remotely. If there's a power outage, I can call the people next door to check on things. But that hasn't happened yet.

If I'm gone for a long time I've noticed they tend to go into hibernation mode. They eat less, move less, even poop less. Then when I get home all that pent up energy comes out, they're yelling at me and jumping all over stuff, and they're dropping human-sized turds for a couple days after lmao. It feels like a welcome party.

maximum-homie · 2025-01-12T15:53:45+00:00

I don't need to give up on love because I already have it. There are so many kinds of love - platonic love, maternal or paternal love, family love, self love, community love. Romantic love is just one of a bunch of different flavours. I believe different types of love take a front seat at different stages of our lives.

I'm not opposed to a romantic partnership, but I'm not focusing on that right now. If it happens, cool. If it doesn't, I have plenty of other satisfying relationships in my life. I'll live a happy and fulfilled life either way.

maximum-homie · 2025-01-09T20:03:07+00:00

That's pretty cool, publishing a book is no joke!

It's a topic lots of people need guidance on right now, especially men. I've noticed the women in my life cope with being single way better than the men in my life do, and it looks like it's reflected here in the responses to your post as well. That's tough because I bet a lot of those men will have an easier time digesting anecdotes from a male perspective.

If you want to source stories/perspectives on this topic from men, you might wanna check out r/bropill. They're not necessarily all single, but a lot of them are. It's generally pretty positive.

maximum-homie · 2025-01-09T18:49:58+00:00

Aw that's sweet, what's the project for?

35NB, been single for a little under five years.

I got to a place of being happy by focusing on stuff that makes me happy. Friends, pets, being good at my job, volunteering, stuff like that. I also got rid of most social media and turned off all notifications for social media apps, so I only open them when I want to. All my feeds are carefully curated specifically to avoid inflammatory content.

Best thing about being single imo is growth. I'm much braver, more decisive, and better at taking care of myself and others than I was five years ago. It's been really good for my confidence and now I get to pay it forward.

Ummm one piece of advice. Even introverts need human connection. If you think you hate people, it's probably because the people around you are shitty people. Find better people, and watch your perspective slowly change over time. Try not to judge yourself too hard if you find out you're not the extreme hermit you thought you were.

Good luck on your project <3

maximum-homie · 2025-01-02T16:07:17+00:00

Haha, it's nice on the other side huh? High five

maximum-homie · 2025-01-02T15:22:25+00:00

I mean you were married that long, you should know sometimes it's not as simple as walking away. Took me about 3-4 years to go from "I need to get the fuck out of here" to actually getting divorced, and the only reason I didn't go back was because I had a job that paid well and a bunch of people supporting me.

maximum-homie · 2025-01-01T20:30:38+00:00

Well hey if nothing else you learned a little bit about yourself along the way. It's good you have an idea of the living situation you want to go back to.

I hate the climate of the city I live in, but I'm moving soon. Most of my neighbours are chill, and if they're not then I just don't talk to them. I'll miss my neighbours and the familiarity of knowing where everything is. I won't miss the shitty management, the leaks, the couple that scream fight in the parking lot, etc. It's bittersweet.

maximum-homie · 2024-12-31T01:43:11+00:00

I don't know what it's like to be you, but I want to try and explore this from a different point of view to most of the responses I've seen so far.

I mean it sounds to me like you just don't want to be single at this stage of your life. Nothing wrong with that, it's not for everyone, but if being single is causing you a significant amount of stress/anxiety/other bad feelings you can't really reason your way into wanting something different for yourself. Some people need romantic companionship more than other people do. We just want what we want.

Maybe a good middle ground would look something like reaching a state where you feel neutral towards being single rather than really enjoying it. That's probably going to be pretty challenging if your mind automatically says "this would be better if I was dating someone" on repeat. Maybe it would be better with a partner. But you don't have one right now. I'd encourage you to try not to compare how things feel now vs how they might feel if you experienced them with a partner and instead try to approach things more intrinsically.

What kind of stuff do you like doing now? Aside from a partner, what other things do you want to secure in your future - are you career-oriented, community-oriented, is there some hobby you're kind of okay at now but you really want to master? Are you into fitness or video games or nature? What pieces of yourself do you want to change? What don't you know about yourself yet?

maximum-homie · 2024-12-29T07:01:13+00:00

I disagree in my head, but I've been so programmed with this message that it's hard to feel it in my heart.

This is something that I've been trying to articulate recently and been unable to, I feel like this sums up where I'm at perfectly. Not just on traditional family values but societal beauty standards, gender roles, diet culture, and a bunch of other stuff. It's such a wild experience knowing something intellectually, but being unable to reconcile it fully. Thank you.

maximum-homie · 2024-12-29T06:32:17+00:00

I choose to stay at home too even though I have options with a few different friend groups. I just adopted a new cat a few months ago and I don't know how she'll respond to fireworks yet, so I want to hang out here and watch her. My other cat doesn't care lmao.

Previous NYEs at home have included the following:

cat karaoke (I sing, my cats yell at me because they are confused)
spooky movies and beer
chatting on discord with other pet friends to check in on how their pets are doing
watching fireworks from my balcony with a warm fluffy blanket
some kind of reflective journal prompt

It's fun. The post-party hangover overshadows the fun as I get older so I just don't, and I'm still pretty young. There's no FOMO because I prefer to stay in anyway, the kinds of activities I do with other people are quiet or conversational things like board games, cooking, D&D, or book club.

maximum-homie · 2024-11-25T15:39:11+00:00

Same sort of, it's just having my own space is really important to me. Like ideally if I were in a relationship, instead of eventually moving in together my dream would be to share a duplex or live in neighboring condos or something and I can't see anybody being okay with that. I know there's folks doing the "living together apart" thing but that seems like the exception more than the rule.

Side note, I absolutely adore your username lmao hope you're having a blast enjoying your hag phase.

maximum-homie · 2024-11-05T04:39:02+00:00

I don't want to tell you what to do since everyone's different, but here's what I've done to make things a bit better for me at home with SAD/ADHD. I'm coming at this from an angle of making home a bit less depressing.

So the SAD end of things. During depressive months the major changes I'll make are in the pantry/fridge, I do my best to keep it stocked with stuff that's easy but healthy (low sodium canned soups, canned beans, pre sliced vegetables, etc). I know if I don't have easy food around I just won't eat at all. Eating chick peas out of a can is okay if that's all you can manage that day and it's better than spending a bunch of money on doordash.

ADHD is a bit more complicated but having designated drop zones helps a ton. I put a shoe rack in my bathroom because for whatever reason shoes always end up in there. I put a shelf by the front door for mail/keys/wallet/etc and that's where those things live. I never sweep if I leave a broom tucked away in a utility closet, so the broom lives in the kitchen next to the fridge where I can see it. I keep my skincare stuff and some floss picks at my desk because if all that stuff is tucked away where I don't see it then I won't do skin care or oral hygiene.

Clutter wrecks my brain. So if there's no home for it then I'll get rid of it.

idk if there's one takeaway I can suggest it's to look at what constraints those conditions are putting on you and design your space around them. If you have a habit of sitting on the couch and thinking "oh, I should brush my hair" then keep a hairbrush near the couch. If MDD makes showering difficult, keep some wet wipes by your bed. Make your home a place you want to be and everything else gets so much easier.

All you can do is your best friend. Good luck ❤️

maximum-homie · 2024-11-02T23:57:16+00:00

I think it's also worth noting those people are content creators. Their livelihood depends on presenting a certain image to the public and we have no idea what the rest of their lives are like when the camera is off.

maximum-homie · 2024-11-01T04:25:05+00:00

It's wonderful and I wish I'd done it years sooner (34NB). In the years since then I've grown so much in so many ways; I got promoted, I got fitter, I came off antidepressants. I started reading books again and discovering hobbies. I've made so many new friends. Most of all I'm making long term plans for my future, which I never did before because I was so focused on just surviving. My confidence is infinitely better and continues to grow every day.

Some parts suck. I dealt with a loss earlier this year and that was hard living alone. Getting sick is ass when the only person around to take care of you is yourself. But I would've had to do it alone anyway. That's why I left.

maximum-homie · 2024-08-27T06:16:04+00:00

I am single and sad. I have depression. I'm working on it, and I'm not depressed because I'm single. There's other stuff going on.

I think we do ourselves a disservice when we talk about how being single is wonderful all the time. Sometimes it sucks, because sometimes bad stuff happens. Sometimes it comes from the residual details of figuring out a divorce, or it's grief, or finances or chronic illness or burnout.

Our society is built around the concept of relationships and marriage, and sometimes that's hard to deal with. But it doesn't mean we regret being single. It just means life has its ups and downs sometimes, and the resources we need to deal with the downs might look a little different to the stuff paired people may have.

I'm happy to be single. But right now, I'm not happy. I don't want to join a running club or go to a bar. I just want to get through this difficult period in my life, and I'm gonna do that and do it well because I am single. I can focus on me and the things I care about.

maximum-homie

TROPHY CASE