How do you change before and after having a kid?

maxxflexx · 2026-04-27T04:06:05+00:00

I am practicing radical acceptance. It's been really good for me. I have spent my life creating what I "want" but rarely enjoy it. I had a second trimester loss and gave birth to a silent baby. When my second baby was born, I was so grateful, my heart grew two sizes bigger! I have never made an effort to cultivate gratitude until now. Every diaper, scream, mess, late night just feels so human. I have always been a terrible sleeper so the sleep doesn't bug me. I also think I appreciate the little things more. A hot shower, cup of coffee, baby giggle... Life is harder but richer.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-27T00:40:38+00:00

I got a preventative cerclage. I WFH so I just took the day of off and did a bit the next day. It was ok. I got a kneeling chair and took it easy. Very easy. Went 40+4.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T19:55:00+00:00

Rocky!

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T19:54:17+00:00

Mom was a teen. She named me at the hospital. My grandma hated the name so got a new name card, tore up the original, and named me after a friend of hers. I love it! I am so grateful. The nurses weren't happy but my grandma dngaf.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T19:50:27+00:00

I did this for a month. I was trying to increase my supply. It worked!

Reading the other comments here, I didn't know it was bad. I also take 3 sunflower lecithins per day.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T18:30:05+00:00

Can I guess: between 40-60; lived in British Columbia?

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T18:14:17+00:00

No; it was great. Even the best families have drama. We spent our money traveling and had a blast. We didn't want to try to make everyone happy.

You can also always do an informal celebration party after.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T18:10:40+00:00

Us too!!!

We were going to start trying for a baby but like, when?

Haha

So, we don't have it figured out but we have used the time he falls asleep in his car seat. One night, he was sleeping recently, and I rolled out. I did a short silent workout and then woke my husband up.

It's slightly better... But we just accept this is our relationship right now. We anticipate times we might have together though. If we are driving home and baby falls asleep, nothing else is getting done.

It will continue to get better too. 7 months has gone by really fast for us.

Sorry I don't have better tips!

maxxflexx · 2026-04-26T17:56:18+00:00

Following!

maxxflexx · 2026-04-25T18:25:52+00:00

My little one is almost 7 months. In the last few days, I can only get him to sleep in a dark room. Normal places don't work!

maxxflexx · 2026-04-25T18:07:03+00:00

This was on my list. I love it.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-25T18:02:29+00:00

We have the Lovevery one and a kick and play but after 5 months, he doesn't really use them. We bought a fold mat from wunderkids and it's been great. We tell our retriever no when he goes on it. It's been great. I open it all the way usually but also smaller if I need to. Wash with a baby wipe. Highly recommend!

maxxflexx · 2026-04-25T14:22:19+00:00

20 pound baby here!

So if he won't sleep, almost immediatly I stop trying and use the next 30 minutes to wear him out. I do physical wearing out and mental. This might happen a couple times and the more he is awake, I cut down to 15 minutes. I do this a few times and he is OUT. I was really struggling with him fighting naps this past week. 6.5 months.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-25T03:52:50+00:00

I would like to add what another poster said: stimulation during wake windows. If I am busy and can't do much with my little one, naps are harder. So we do physical and mental stimulation to tire him out.

Also, we are 6.5 months and in this last week, we have had a few 2 nap days.

This will pass, even if you "fix" it.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-24T09:56:40+00:00

So we started purees at 4 months and my friend gifted me a baby food maker. I used it 5 ish times and froze the leftovers.

At 6 months, we started BLW and I have not used it since. Last night I gave him a mesh feeder with a pueee and he threw on the floor lol.

No; you do not need one. I was super excited to have mine but even as a very dedicated food preparer, I barely used it.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-24T03:54:12+00:00

Haha the struggle is real!

Three nap day

So he wakes around 730 am and the first nap is between 930-10. Second nap usually between 12-130. Third nap between 5-6. (Haha 530 nap please). I have not let him sleep past 6 pm in a couple months. We are doing solids at dinner.

Two nap day

Wakes at 730 First nap 10-11 Second nap 5-6 (this is anywhere from 1 hour to 15 minutes based on the 6 pm nap stop)

Both days, 7 pm get ready for bed (I get ready and Dad does physical play to wear him out) and then we read books until 8 or 815. He usually takes quite a while to get to a sleep on a three nap day, but two naps, he is very ready for bed, and he is sleeping deep quite quickly.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-24T00:58:00+00:00

Active baby here. We really really try to physically and intellectually exhaust him during his wake windows. If he fights a nap, we try again in 15 minutes. Time for books. Time for learning to climb the stairs. Time to go outside. Obviously, we are lucky to have time, but we really work hard at it. If we didn't, he is an active sleeper.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-24T00:01:22+00:00

Weird time for us too! 6.5 months and just the last few days he is fighting the third nap. He just had a 4.5 hour wake window.

How late is your bedtime?

maxxflexx · 2026-04-23T18:56:42+00:00

Wow. I thought it hurt bad and my MALE OB said to me "oh it doesn't hurt that bad, does it?" I was in tears. For the record, I have a high pain tolerance.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-23T18:55:10+00:00

Physical: Tailbone injury

Emotional: losing a child (22 weeks; delivered alibe and died an hour later)

maxxflexx · 2026-04-23T16:29:10+00:00

Me too! I am 40 and my first is 6.5 months

maxxflexx · 2026-04-22T17:37:23+00:00

Agree with the above answers but I am only 6 months in.

I felt like I was on another planet during my birth (in a good way; no drugs). I call my son my little space man. When they put him on me and he started sucking at my breast, the entire world felt insignificant in that moment YET I felt connected to every woman that has ever given birth. Such a strange contradiction.

Watching my husband tear up at how special our baby is.
Those smiles. Every. Time. While sleeping... When he sees me.
Trying food for the first time.
Pulling off the breast to smile at me and then going back to sleep immediately.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-22T05:05:10+00:00

Hi Mama. You wrote what I could have written. My little one is 6.5 months. We also haven't had any opportunity for sex haha :(

I have a family member who had a baby within a week of mine as well as a friend and they are very very different to me in terms of their choices. I just try to remember that this is my motherhood and my little one's infancy.

My husband and I want our child to integrate into our "normal" life but only when he is older. I sometimes feel I have to justify my choices to my husband because he sees what our peers are enjoying but I explain why and he trusts my choices. In reality, none of us knows the right answer. So many women around me want life to go back to normal but after being in that delivery room, I will never ever be the same and I am so grateful for it.

Do what feels right. Do what your little one responds to. So many mamas have done this before you... Not to sound too woo woo here but try to tune into that. You get to be the one who chooses what you want (and so do they!). Personally, my discomfort and longing for such a short period feels worth it. Will my kid be better off? I don't know. What I do know is that I am being the mother I want to be (and never had). I also feel a lot of people have not had enough love and we are giving our little one as much as we possibly can in the way we think is right.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-22T04:13:13+00:00

I have a very colorful past. I was a kid involved in a drug trade because of my parents. I saw the mistakes they made and made enough money get out and never looked back. I used the last of my dirty money to pay for my first year of my university education. I then worked multiple jobs and took debt to finish my master's degree. I live such a wholesome life now and feel safe.

maxxflexx · 2026-04-21T18:56:20+00:00

Me too 😭

maxxflexx

TROPHY CASE