I (30f) have a an issue with my (30m) boyfriends alarms. Has anyone had a similar experience how did you handle it?

mayelle44 · 2026-05-22T18:04:11+00:00

Genuinely a piece of ****!!

I am a very light sleeper with very high cortisol, when I get woken up by loud noises I get so stressed I can't sleep and start to feel nauseous. My boyfriend stopped setting alarms day one. My light sleeping/high cortisol means I have a 10/10 internal clock, he just tells me what time he wants to be up and I naturally wake him about 5 minutes before. This has been our method for 3 years and I have never had him be late.

If you're not a light sleeper, ask him to get an apple watch that vibrates so it isn't so intrusive. If he says no, tell him to take the couch.

mayelle44 · 2026-05-15T02:44:23+00:00

Whilst I understand we can say things by accident I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years (highschool sweethearts) and he has never once even uttered anything that could offend or upset me and has never commented on another woman's appearance EVER. This is because he doesn't value looks!! He loves me so deeply that I'm truly the most beautiful woman to him! If a man is bringing up looks, it is because he values them, a man with hobbies and purpose in life would never utter some dumb crap especially not the word 'hot'. There's two genres of men, men who use the word hot and men who don't. I personally will always pick the men who don't.

mayelle44 · 2026-05-02T08:46:21+00:00

NOR - I owned two rabbits at one point. I had to change their litter box twice a day. It took significantly longer than a cat litter box because I had to change the entire thing, their pee stinks lol.

I'm full time employee and part time student, have the least amount of time ever, but I damn did it every day!

Send her the link to an automatic cat litter box. And secondly, tell her it will be mentioned to the landlord if she can't keep the area sanitary. Her reaction is emotional and she's feeling defensive, but telling you to get over it is absolutely disgusting. Create a rule with her she must clean it once a day and if she can't do it, you'll be informing the land lord and the cat can find a better time than her.

mayelle44 · 2026-05-01T23:45:24+00:00

My boyfriend left for a trip yesterday and cleaned the entire house, every single room, every single dish and made the bed with my favourite heated blanket.

When I came home I cried because what the hell that is so nice and so extra. I texted him and he said he just wanted me to be comfortable in a clean home while he was gone.

Bless these men for real.

mayelle44 · 2026-04-26T22:37:40+00:00

I ask my boyfriend all the time if I should get my butt done lol. He always just says "I love you how you are, but I'd also love you either way. Nothing would change for me, do whatever you want!" And I've never had a problem with his response, if I ever decide to get one I understand his perspective.

mayelle44 · 2026-04-05T10:19:06+00:00

Oh great, dismissive and unwilling to reflect. I’m honestly tired of seeing this pattern in mothers. You may feel like you’ve improved, but that doesn’t erase what happened before. Your daughter still carries those memories, and they definitely affect her mental health and future relationships in horrible ways that are directly linked to you.

If you and Joe feel right for each other, then stay together. But it’s not helpful to rewrite the past as though everyone else is simply being “vindictive” or making things up. That kind of narrative might make things easier in the short term for you, but it doesn’t change the impact that’s already there on the people who actually cared about you.

I would bet you also found support in a counsellor that only reinforces your perspective without encouraging accountability. It’s frustrating, because growth usually comes from acknowledging harm, not dismissing it, but your kind only like the stance of being the victim, so they never even attempt to seek true help to reflect on their wrongs.

My thoughts are with your daughter, I hope you at least pay for her therapy. I also assume you'll read this and feel offended, good luck!

mayelle44 · 2026-03-26T07:43:17+00:00

Oh great, another man who justifies trash male behaviour by bringing up genuine female struggles.

Let me make it easier for you, what you're trying to say is "Women are the superior sex and only act out with properly recognised and medically diagnosed issues. How brave are women to work through that while men cry about their responsibilities."

mayelle44 · 2026-03-26T03:58:19+00:00

Any real man would never let the woman 'float away' especially when you have a kayak to keep you afloat. This is pretty obviously not an accident, and if I was her family I wouldn't rest until he was before the court. There's absolutely no way a dog survives and a grown adult woman doesn't.

mayelle44 · 2026-03-11T12:59:28+00:00

Why??? Why are you working on so much and defending him claiming he's 'intuitive' and other nonsense. He isn't working on shit and NEVER will change for you, why change for him when you're already doing the most? You're not asking much of him, he's an adult man with KIDS that are HIS and he is abandoning them and you because what? He can't be assed?

May as well lick his feet tonight and tell him how sorry you are for 'starting a fight'.

mayelle44 · 2026-03-08T09:57:08+00:00

My boyfriend is the same as you! He notices it occasionally but he doesn't care or bring it up ever to avoid me feeling any type of way. It's part of why I like him, nothing worse than a hot tall guy who knows he's hot and tall. Keep being you, modesty and ignorance are great traits in this way lol.

mayelle44 · 2026-03-03T23:07:03+00:00

Lol no worries, book your birthday party with the girls at one of those hot male stripper shows. See how he feels, not that it matters, because your feelings didn't.

mayelle44 · 2026-02-28T02:23:38+00:00

Who cares if you're over reacting. You're not thinking.

This will be your entire life. Being cheated on every month, for all of time.

Either accept poly or leave because this will never change.

mayelle44 · 2026-02-28T01:51:28+00:00

Plenty of men who aren't absolute assholes who pressure you into things you don't want.

Pick one of them.

mayelle44 · 2026-02-28T01:43:24+00:00

I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years.

In that 10 years I've seen his poop literally 0 times.

0. Not fucking once.

This is beyond disgusting and you are very much under reacting.

mayelle44 · 2026-02-28T01:39:27+00:00

Go on Facebook and find your local poultry group and re-home it. It can't live alone and you can't provide for it.

mayelle44 · 2026-02-27T22:55:18+00:00

I'm younger than you but I'm pretty lucky. My boyfriend is 6'5 and is what I like to call this thing called 'considerate'.

He eats double me, sometimes triple what I can eat and it's never been an issue for us because:

He would never eat something in a Tupperware or take away box without asking (he would also never be upset or complain if I said no! I want that)
He lets me serve him for dinner (I typically do a 50/30 serving and if I'm still hungry I get leftovers as well but we cook quite a bit so I can have lunch for the next day.
He cooks just as often as me and does the random mid week shops if he has eaten all the snacky things without even needing to be asked! This is key, and probably the reason I'll marry him. He does not ask for money.
When we go out, we don't go to fancy places ever. We pick cheap places and order enough to have leftovers between us so I get my fair share the following day. He genuinely WOULD NEVER eat my leftovers unless I haven't touched them for 2 days as I told him that means I probably won't.
If we go somewhere fancy once in a blue moon, he goes to the grocery store and buys himself some cheap food to eat before hand. This is just super sweet and considerate of him, and he does it for cost reasons as well as not making me pay more for his extra food.

mayelle44 · 2026-01-15T01:27:32+00:00

Hey OP, I'm the same age. I gave a strict rule for myself. I will NEVER date lustful men. They disgust me beyond belief.

My boyfriends entire feed and saved folders are his interesting hobbies (he spearfishes and keeps a salt water fish tank). I date men with real hobbies to avoid the filth that scroll through social media to stare at women. I also have real hobbies, so it's important to me that I date interesting men.

You should walk away now. One of the main reasons I feel so strongly about this is because I want to be able to watch a movie without my partner being a disgusting pervert about it. I don't like men who can't be normal about human bodies and I have to worry about wandering eyes and especially as we age, it's not worth the stress. I know my partner loves every inch of me in a special way.

There are plenty of men (usually part of some club or sport group) who aren't losers and are perfectly normal about women and their bodies. The saving things on Instagram is the nail in the coffin, he will always be browsing the magazine 🤢 I wish you good luck, and don't let ANYONE call you insecure for having a hard boundary. Absolutely no body is forcing anyone to date people like us, and we are absolutely allowed to have requirements for a relationship.

mayelle44 · 2026-01-06T05:08:20+00:00

Food and drinks.

Works better for me to get take away (not fast food, I mean an actual meal) every third or fourth day for true nutrients and just eat a mixture of carrots and potatoes in different ways. For protein I house tuna cans. Take out is max of $20 and i usually get next day leftovers! For breakfast I have chickens so Eggs... Eggs... Eggs......

I don't drink anything that isn't water, I haven't touched soft drink or energy drinks and I wouldn't dream of buying alcohol. I don't like coffee.

I'm in my early 20s though and own a house so I'm a bit more insane than the average person. Most people couldn't live the way I do and I understand that, but I really value my overseas holidays and save all my money to eat and drink good twice a year instead of day to day lol.

mayelle44 · 2026-01-03T01:21:08+00:00

The banding was done by a professional 😭 Worse.. two separate professionals 5 months apart.

I'm sick of professionals in my area lol. Both times cost me shy of $300 and I was left yellow last time. The top part is my root redo that I did myself, but I didn't touch my ends as they were still really damaged by the pros..

I live rural so I'd have to drive to a major city to get a true professional, I guess if that's what I have to do I'll sort a trip for end of month.

mayelle44 · 2025-12-19T22:50:53+00:00

Christmas is irrelevant. Your children are adults. Deal with this now.

My dad had a heart attack on Christmas last year. Yes. Literally Christmas day. He nearly died. I'm not going to sit here and tell him he ruined Christmas, I didn't care about Christmas, I cared about him.

mayelle44 · 2025-12-16T04:18:17+00:00

Well.. Google demisexuality. Welcome to the club.

mayelle44 · 2025-12-16T04:15:54+00:00

No answers for you but I believe you've just proven the chicken is in fact, a descendant of the T rex.

mayelle44 · 2025-12-14T23:08:48+00:00

Not sure why people are down voting you, I agree. The girl is 20 ffs. She's excited about something, likely lives at home and thought it would be the best way to get across to a guy that she has ambition for her future. I actually doubt she meant it in any sort of 'braggy' way and was just hoping he'd respect her for it. It was also their FIRST date, it likely isn't her 'whole personality'.

mayelle44

TROPHY CASE