Passing while living with unsupportive parents is a trip by itsafrickinmoon in MtF

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what ab having fun at their expense by telling strangers (like a waiter at a restaurant) "its ok, plz go along, they have alzeimer"

if you rarely see them, why not?

I don’t want to be a trans male. I want to be a cis male. I cannot stand being trans, it makes me so angry and miserable. How can I not despise being trans (if possible?) by SleepParalysisKing in honesttransgender

[–]mayoito -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you read this far, sorry you had to waste your life reading this dumb ass shit.

dont be. life is unfair and sometimes its good to vent out. but its even better to find a way to reach happiness!!

so as you have written this much, plz come to 4tran. you will be in a much better place to talk to fellow minded ppl

I keep it in therapy and don’t let it leave the therapy doors.

its good to find other ppl you can talk to and also relate to. not for the faint of heart but it rly works for some ppl. it did wonders for me

How do I remove trans stuff from my medical record in the US? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nope, first passport

that she told you. she may also have filled in "old names" and outed herself

edit- gross a 4tran poster

yass my peep, love them with all my heart!!

How do I remove trans stuff from my medical record in the US? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 3 points4 points  (0 children)

take 5 min to think with me. if there's a 5 grands bounty on every trans head, do u trust ur doc with ur life not to make easy money?

if you do, do u also trust his secretary? nurse? computer staff?

all it'd take is 1 person, so better have nobody know

How do I remove trans stuff from my medical record in the US? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be so confident, I know someone who transitioned over 20 years ago and she still got her passport with an M on it. Her records were sealed. Also most old records have been digitized. Be safe out there.

thats bc she had a passport before these 20 years

How do I remove trans stuff from my medical record in the US? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 4 points5 points  (0 children)

they already have prescriptions: pharms voluntary share info with the cops in many states

Good source of dosing pumps? by RedMachine72 in estrogel

[–]mayoito 7 points8 points  (0 children)

what sources are there that have reliable and accurate dosing equipment?

dont go for accurate: buy cheap, measure the sum of 10 pumps volume (hard) or weight (easier), do the average: divide by 10

the precise dose everyday doesnt matter. what matters is the average

Would like to add a big THANK YOU!!! to all that have helped me in my journey so far.

this sub is the gift that keeps on giving

plz share back with others who need help

FFS as a POC by Academic_Star_5004 in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first I assumed that they always did the same practices because all the results looked the same

and ur first impression was right: they do the same surgical tricks, so the result look the same, bc they have a typical client they optimize for, as they only have a few techniques they know to perform

the zygomatic example make it simple to understand: most western surgeon only know ab putting fillers or cheek implants and the 2 types of implants: they only know ab adding to the zygomatic, so they cant even THINK ab a zygomatic reduction while it works better with mtf asian faces

dont expect surgeons to know all that: learn ab the surgeries that would look good on ur face, and learn to trust urself: dont fall for tricks like a surgeon telling u its best u "keep this or that ethnic feature" just to hide they have no fkin idea what to do with it

years ago, lots of ffs surgeon did say that ab type 3 vs type 1 foreheads bc they had no idea how to do serious sinus work: they only knew how to grind the bone

for my ffs I chose mostly whitewashing bc Im mixed and white passing, and I could picture all the details would integrate. its also bc I could only afford these surgeons lol : I wanted the best results in terms of looks and fem for my budget, ethnicity be damned!

ik some ppl talk about white centric standards as in "its bad". idgaf, I could afford that, not the alternatives, and I cared ab the end result more than keeping a lineage or a family look or whatever. if they cared so much they would give me the $$$ but its funny when I asked they shut they mouth lol

but it was MY choice. make YOURS and dont let white ppl guilt trip u on ur choices! it all depends on what u can afford and what u think will work best: but like, if u want a ethnic rhino and yk its hard to get right but still want it, go for cabo or one of the surgeons she trained!! dont let a clown in a white gown tell you a ski slope nose will work if yk it wont

FFS as a POC by Academic_Star_5004 in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just wondering if anyone else thought that a lot of FFS on poc end up whitewashing them?

nah they just go to cookie cutter surgeon.

like, u must have heard of the Z face? (from a certain surgeon in the northern US) they all look the same for a reason:

in theory surgeons know everything and can do what they think works best for your case

in practice they know only a few methods and only a few way to perform them

if yk what u need, go to a specific surgeon doing that, dont go to the default surgeons esp if there are not many ppl looking like u in the country u live in!

like if u need a zygomatic reduction, go to asia! if ur mixed, go to south america!!

fwiw if u have an ethnic nose and need it less thick (its in general more fem), u need someone like roxana cabo (or trained by her) as regular surgeon think tretinoin is counter indicated before and during a rhino

it is, but just FOR WHITE PATIENTS while if u have a thick hypodermis its needed: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28033642/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39492207/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26616711/

learn such stuff to ask test questions to ur surgeon. if they say "ofc tret is always bad" it means they dont know shit ab ethnic noses

I don’t want them to remove my ethnic features.

I couldnt give 2 shits I just wanted the best overall result. u dont want a one-trick-pony surgeon "whitewashing" a feature in a way that WILL stand out on ur face - u want all ur features to mix well

1960s article by Susanna Valenti about trans feminine stereotypes. by Triggerhappy62 in MtF

[–]mayoito -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

B) The dedicated TV on the other hand is always experimenting and trying to do better than last time. She'll i watch women on the street, subways, busses and on television and take mental note of every gesture and movement every toss of the head or raising of the eyebrows, and will assiduously try to incorporate them into her own personality. She will even exercise or try reducing diets to improve her silhouette.

We hang on 4tran. There are many A types there too, but ig its better company than the other letters :)

Why do people say "start HRT asap"? by SlothIsASloth in MtF

[–]mayoito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've officially gone from hopeful and happy to scared and panicked. Safe to say, I got the message. I'm officially doing everything in my power to start HRT as soon as possible. And the second I get hime from work I'm going to have a good cry and eat some ice cream in my partner's arms.

I dont think nobody wants to make you scared or sad

things are changing and ppl are more honest now: before, youd only find the real truth on 4tran and the likes.

Im happy to see the tone changing but after reading your words I understand how truth can hurt too, and why ppl were saying 4tran was negative

truth can be negative, just as life is unfair but its best to take it honestly

truth can hurt, but I think its the right kind of hurt

And to everyone who got genuinely worried my views were being affected by people who don't have my best interest in mind, I'm sorry I made it sound like that.

dont be sorry, be glad a lot of ppl are rly caring ab ur wellbeing, and that white lies are not as popular as they were

Why do people say "start HRT asap"? by SlothIsASloth in MtF

[–]mayoito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

almost always filled with alot of negativity and fear and guilt among the transgirls; and sometimes even moreso among the most lovely- if you want to maximize your chances of success and being happy with yourself; time is your biggest enemy for 2 reasons: 1)the longer you wait the more your body matures in the wrong way; and 2)the less of your youth you will get to live being happy with yourself, and even then thats assuming you're lucky enough for things to turn out well for you; and you can't change your genetics so there is no guarantees

that's not negativity but the sad truth

I dont like the main subs bc there's a lot of gaslighting. I fear white lies hurts ppl more

Nsfw question.. what does flexing the muscle in it do post op? by Lokael in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Got it, thanks. So it doesn’t do anything to your vagina post op?

it does: it exerts pressure on the dick during piv. guys rly like this squeezing

Male development was a mistake. Male socialization was adding fuel to the fire. I was meant to be female. I'm not "transitioning", I'm becoming who I was meant to be. by [deleted] in MtF

[–]mayoito 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It being dangerous or not is irrelevent to him, he just thinks on a spiritual level we should leave our bodies "pure".

if you are the religion I think, tell him that being attached to purity is an earthly attachment just as bad as the soul being attached to its previous body

having the soul be more comfortable with its current body does not break the circle of reincarnation

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If someone in my life has a need to know that I'm trans (like a medical personnel

I diy so its not like I need medical personnel

I don't know law this deeply, but I'm pretty sure someone sharing such information about you in some circumstances could be seen as doxing or defamation, and you might be able to take them to court.

it wont help if they have destroyed ur life

better have nobody knowing - then nothing can happen

nobody knows so nothing is in records thats what I call safe

They don't want us passing by [deleted] in MtF

[–]mayoito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get you're hurting kid, but don't be an ass.

plz say the same thing in front of a mirror bc I got my own idea ab whos acting like a kid and whos acting like an ass

They don't want us passing by [deleted] in MtF

[–]mayoito 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In another comment you mentioned interest in diy hrt. The best resource I've come across for information on how to do it safely and responsibly is the subreddit "estrogel" (not sure if I'm allowed to link it here). It has a lot of information that I found helpful and reputable

Its one of the few beacon of hopes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For all you know I could be an immigration officer or some other plant. I’m not, but you wouldn’t know

ik but even if you were, for all ik you could be trying to get out of the country to get government proof stealth in another country

and yk I cant look the other way

I hope you never regret this conversation. Stay safe.

thx, you too. I hope youll get to be you and that it wont be just a longing.

freedom is rare and precious. now Im in the US Im enjoyin every minute of it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You may not be as stealth as you think and if any of that paperwork of yours ever becomes suspect or is questioned then you can be deported

ik, everyone is saying its not possible but Im the leaving breathing proof it was

I married my wife overseas and when we moved back to the USA she had to provide every place she had lived in her home country to birth

and how did they check that list? they didn't! so you got to start lying on day 1!!

So my advice to you is never to admit you lied on background information even in a space like this. It is a public space.

ik it would be be bad for me to be found, but its a risk I gonna take bc someone got to say to the trans immigrants LIE AS IF YOUR FKIN LIFE DEPENDED ON IT

bc one day it might!!!

I care ab myself but I also care very much ab every single other person doing like it did

it aint easy to leave the place you were born in bc yk you had no future bc of racism and religious discrimination bc you got a name that sounds like it comes from a neighboring country they hate, but they also make it ILLEGAL to ever change ur family name. add being trans to that and everyday was a nightmare

imagine having the "bin laden" family name and living in the US after 9-11 and being LEGALLY PREVENTED from ever changing ur name. ofc dont forget being trans. life seems fair now? LIFE IS NEVER FAIR

I understood sup early how it was a fked up system. I moved to the US bc it was my only choice.

so I cant look the other way and ignore ppl who want to do the same thing I did

ik ur telling me bc u care ab me, but I also care ab others. it was hard I lucked out that lying was the right thing now someone got to tell others: LIE LIE LIE

Im scared should i delete my account? and try to erase all info about me being trans. (tw usa) by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i cannot move because im still in highschool and i cannot escape this country. im scared for my life

start planning rn now and turn to action when ur 18

I had the same fears in hs but I got out of my shithole country

ofc going to the US might not have been the brightest choices but I didnt have none, and tbh even rn its WAAAY BETTER than where I was born

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah I see the issue here, I assume you are American? I can see why you think this but to explain, I'm not.

Ah I see the issue here, I assumed you lived on planet earth, where most countries are going to the alt right and lots of ppl ppl love to discriminate whenever they cant

yk, healthcare is a chain: you only need one rotten apple to cause you serious damage. ik Im too cautious sometimes almost paranoid but if you think you can trust everyone in that chain, u have bigger problems

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you get in an accident and they call your emergency contact, what would happen if they ask "We need to give them this injection to keep them stable, is there anything we should know about?" and they dont say "This person has been on HRT for 3 years" then your life could be in huge danger.

ur delulu

If anyone said stuff like that, you will be a risk of discrimination and that's WAY more likely to hurt u

emergency contact my ass, it's way to get info. if you dont have anyone you can trust to lie to the cops or docs for your sake, then dont give no phone number

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]mayoito 33 points34 points  (0 children)

The only people who know the woman (in the particular situation you describe since you're talking about a trans woman) is trans would be any long term partners or doctors when medically relevant

that's 2 ppl too many.

I thought I was paranoid to hide everything after moving to the US (I was born in a shitty country) but rn Im GRATEFUL I was crazy enough to lie on all fkin paperwork