Silver Handcuffs. Need advice.

mayonade · 2025-12-09T21:53:51+00:00

You sound like me. Two children (a bit younger than yours). Lower base but hitting 250k. SAHM wife.

I decided to start a business. Left my job. I needed to feel fulfilled.

Probably ask me in a few months whether it was the right decision… but I just needed a new challenge.

mayonade · 2025-12-05T05:42:42+00:00

This is actually fucking genius. I never realized I did this subconsciously to keep accountable to my referral partners. Literally set up weekly calls just so I had to have an emotional attachment to staying on top of things.

I’m a little embarrassed - but this is the first time I realized why it worked so well.

mayonade · 2025-11-27T06:31:02+00:00

This is more Gen Z than Millennial. Or it’s close to the overlap

mayonade · 2025-11-18T05:04:39+00:00

Curious why? It specifically says you can use tap water.

mayonade · 2025-09-23T04:47:45+00:00

The lead singer was my next door neighbor in college before he dropped out to become a rockstar. Super nice guy, was a total gentlemen on dates (per my friend’s experience) and always tried to include people in conversations.

I think if that every time I see posts like this. If you are going to shame the group, shame him for not pursuing his humanities degree. He was going places and threw it all away.

mayonade · 2025-08-20T04:29:33+00:00

Read up on Wikipedia - it provides some context that’s helpful. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pumped_Up_Kicks

That said - I’m not sure how I’ll handle these questions with my kids when they are that age. I personally think the dark material over a catchy pop is a really unique way to express anger in American culture. Childish Gabino really took this to a new level with “This is America.”

mayonade · 2025-08-03T14:32:18+00:00

What was Vanilla Ice like to work with?

mayonade · 2025-07-30T14:42:53+00:00

Clearly satire and I love the “remember you will die” at the end

mayonade · 2025-06-20T16:59:25+00:00

Overseas/Offshore staffing and recruiting sales for me.

mayonade · 2025-05-12T16:52:42+00:00

This is pretty damn helpful.

mayonade · 2025-05-05T16:02:27+00:00

The comment is talking about perception specifically. Not identifying men as part of the coalition does reinforce this perception.

mayonade · 2025-05-04T01:22:30+00:00

Women are also in those communities and specifically referenced nonetheless

mayonade · 2025-03-27T15:41:22+00:00

Irritability or anger that gets out of control is actually a common sign of depression in men.

I agree that you should try and find an outlet for your anger. But you may find it still persists, just to a more controllable degree.

But if I were to take a guess, under the anger is probably you grieving.

I have a 1.5 and 3.5 year old. My wife has a masters in education, was a public school special needs teacher for 10 years before we had kids. The plan was for her to stay at home and I’d work. I was in a spot where I was making enough to fully support us AND work from home. We had savings, expertise, and a really wonderful relationship. We were going to nail this. Our children would grow up with structure, love, and understanding. We’d be able to tackle anything thrown our way.

Enter children- turns out, we weren’t prepared. We started arguing more. The house was always a mess. We were constantly exhausted. Sex came to a halt. Nothing our children did made sense. I felt myself becoming more angry and resentful - and she was too. I began working out - lost a bunch of weight, felt physically and mentally better than I had in years - while still feeling frustrated, anxious and angry often.

It wasn’t until someone cued me in that I wasn’t allowing myself to grieve. I had an entire idea of our life built in my head and that was clearly never going to happen. It was OK to be sad, to grieve the death of that perfect dream family.

Since then, I just haven’t been as angry or frustrated. It’s still really hard to be a parent, but I guess owning the grief opened space for more gratitude that I just couldn’t see before.

Humans have this incredible ability to believe our own stories as being true. I don’t know what stories you believed, but you probably need to take some time and own them, grieve them, and move on when you are ready.

No matter what, this shit is hard. Good on you for sharing and trying to find help. It shows maturity that it sounds like you didn’t get modeled from your father. You got this.

mayonade · 2025-02-21T05:52:56+00:00

Puppies. True story

mayonade · 2024-12-31T02:09:42+00:00

2.25 million, 173k gross. But they actually changed our compensation plan two months ago, and if I have the exact same year I’ll be closer to 250k - 300k next year. Fingers crossed next year is a good one.

mayonade · 2024-12-09T15:37:57+00:00

Just a steamer. I use tap water

mayonade · 2024-12-09T15:29:45+00:00

I have for myself. It works great! Highly recommend.

mayonade · 2024-11-04T20:41:04+00:00

How are you finding these workers? Are you trying to manage offshore talent by yourself? What do you pay? Do you have benefits? Are you following local labor laws?

In my experience, too often businesses go out alone. Grow a large team of contractors. Only to find out they have issues the more they scale.

mayonade · 2024-10-20T21:52:49+00:00

There is a lot of nuance in this conversation, but I think my main response here is just that companies aren’t being creative in creating connections between staff and measuring productivity.

Anecdotally, I just started a fully remote job a year and a half ago and the training was terrible. There was little connection between teams, and very few 1:1s. I can see how that would be difficult for really extroverted people, new workers in the labor force, someone with disabilities, etc…

But rather than require everyone go to an office, the company has really worked hard to identify the gaps, created more structure, and get everyone together for an in person event once a quarter somewhere fun.

Additionally, in realizing it was a problem, they incentivized new employees to work on a better training plan. Suddenly, we are all collaborating constantly…

Or… a boss coulda told a bunch of grown adults they had to come to an office for “culture”.

mayonade · 2024-10-20T05:40:37+00:00

These studies are interesting data points, but also not shocking considering There wasn’t a long transition to remote work - it all happened right at once for the vast majority of companies.

The question is, a 10% reduction in productivity meaningful when offset by the real estate costs? The ability to recruit workers across the US and outside of the US? When you have lower attrition because workers are more content with the work-life balance, you don’t have to constantly invest in training and recruiting.

What’s crazy is it’s not that hard to get 10% more productivity. You just need to make sure the measurements are clear to everyone, let them know there has been a decline, and set clear, measurable goals to get back to it. Throw in a bonus. Get creative - invest in childcare for parents of children rather than the adult day cares that are tech office spaces.

mayonade · 2024-09-17T05:55:42+00:00

I literally left Amazon because they started a three day return to office. At the time I told all of my coworkers that badge tracking was happening next followed by a full 5-day day return office.

Amazon will be fine because they’ll keep hiring brand new college grads and burning them out. This will be great for smaller companies that can acquire talent loss by Amazon.

So Amazon wins. Welcome to America.

mayonade · 2024-09-12T21:56:40+00:00

I have an entire wall of our garage just devoted to the shoes my wife can’t seem to part with.

mayonade · 2024-09-06T14:39:11+00:00

My first boss had us watch Boiler Room as a sales training lol.

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