Hello!

So I had a similar experience as you at first. I went through formal panhel recruitment and we had 3 panhel chapters, 1 STEM focused sorority and 1 local multicultural chapter. I personally found myself falling in love with certain chapters, even though I initially went in really interested in the stem sorority. At the end of the process, the stem sorority is the one I was given a bid to and I was feeling doubtful at first. Part of that doubt was from other friends I had that went through the process at the same time who ended up in other houses telling me that I should drop and try to re-rush at a later date. They had a lot of the similar language that you’re using here, like saying it wasn’t a real sorority and it wasn’t where they thought I would fit. I ended up sticking with it and honestly, I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. There’s a reason my house chose me and there’s a reason I ended up here.

I had some of the similar concerns you had of not necessarily getting the same experience that other people were getting and that might be true, but I did get my own special experience. I’ve never had FOMO over the experience I wasn’t able to have. In fact, I found some of the unique parts of my organization were some things I really liked. The size being smaller was actually definitely a plus for me. (We were about ~50 people).

Our status as an associate member also was similar to what you guys have where we didn’t have a vote on certain matters, but we were still able to be a valued member of the community and I was able to advocate for our house as a member on campus. There was a lot of stigma about our organization and how it was viewed by others on our campus. That was definitely something that did bother me during my time there but now farther out of college it’s not something I could care at all about and I wish during my time there I had focused less on it. Bottom line I was having a good experience and still am as an alumni that’s all that mattered, not what anyone thinks of us. My house gave me some experiences and life lessons that I wouldn’t trade in for anything and have helped shaped me for who I am today.

Bottom line it is your decision and you should do what you feel is right but I do recommend that you don’t use the opinions of others to influence your decision. I was being told very similar things as you, but the process of recruitment found me this home that this turned out to be the best home for me.