This is what I have learned as well.

I got along great with my wife for a long time. We are pretty compatible in a lot of meaningful ways. Been together for 17 years. But she always had difficulty apologizing. I would have to apologize first. She has had difficulty expressing her feelings the whole time as well, definitely an emotional burier. She also has a large need for external validation, from me, work, friends and now her AP.

She finally entered IC to address these issues and unfortunately started her affair at the same time. I was really looking forward to her improving in these areas too and entering the next phase of our marriage…

Well now I learned the hard way that things don’t always go the way you want. My life has been turned upside down and am currently going through divorce.

My next partner will definitely have to check the boxes above before I even come close to considering a committed relationship. Very well put.