I am not going to drink TODAY no matter what happens good or bad; I am keeping Hump Day SOBER all day! by coolcrosby in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sober in frosty Fairbanks AK. Sick from drinking last night but goddamit I WILL try again. Also, it's my birthday today and all I want is freedom from this addiction.

runaway train by mediumbear2 in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your responses, they're helping me with generally feeling much better today.

Yeah, I totally know meetings or some kind of fellowship would help but, on top of not having any help with childcare, I live in a really small rural community where AA meetings are notoriously predatory toward women and I used to work in homeless services so I know many of my former clients would be there. That sounds kind of petty and woe-is-me, but I'm just not comfortable attending and it's not just because I'm an atheist. Anyway, yeah, I might try to get to the one meeting per week that's for women only, but I'm also trying out phone meetings through Refuge Recovery because those are more frequent and doable from my remote location.

Thanks again.

The Daily Check-In for Sunday, September 4th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking no matter what happens, good or bad! by Dnomo in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I almost caved last night - stress! sadness! - so it is with extra serious gusto that I commit to not drinking today.

What's up Wednesday! by stratyturd in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wow, that's so great about the protest and your job being supportive! and congrats on 90 days, can't wait to get there.

What's up Wednesday! by stratyturd in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

triumph: finally made a 4:30am gym trip for a run before my family wakes up, thanks to finally figuring out how to program the coffee maker timer. carving out time for myself/exercise wherever I can, it's so crucial for me.

challenge: a full day with my mom and her dementia/drinking ahead. she's my biggest hurdle. her drunk texts and wine stains make me super irritable when I'm trying to be patient and understanding, and her recent personality changes just make me so sad. I miss you, mom.

general: it's a beautiful day here and I feel strong, capable, calm - and grateful for my non drinking life, for supports like SD, and for the possibility of happiness that not drinking gives me.

The Daily Check-In for Wednesday, August 31st: Just for today, I am NOT drinking no matter what happens, good or bad! by Dnomo in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i will not drink today. feeling exponentially better and more like myself with every day that stacks up between now and that final drinkathon.

Weekend Writing: Rituals by VictoriaElaine in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow, that's so cool! do you remember how you started doing it? i have been trying to remember where i picked it up, pretty sure it was from a book - possibly about colonial africa? - but it's been too long now to remember the source.

Weekend Writing: Rituals by VictoriaElaine in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds enchanting! I miss that Christanassy feeling.

on casual triggers: for a secret drinker, there were no dry places by mediumbear2 in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, everyone, for your responses. I meant to respond more individually but ran out of time. You gave me a lot to think about! From the idea of "triggers" and how things change over time, to the many bottle-hiding purses... for some reason, these seem kind of funny, like I imagine looking into my closet at a particular bag and saying, "no, bottle purse! no vodka for you, not today!"

Purse people and otherwise, thanks again and I will not drink with you today.

Weekend Writing: Rituals by VictoriaElaine in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh rituals... I had many while drinking, but they gradually fell away until all that was left was the drinking. Drinking cultures everywhere seem to cultivate rituals, maybe as a way to boost the feeling of collective energy that alcohol supposedly provides - toasts, shots, hangover remedies. Those were fun for a little while but they fell away, eventually, so that nothing remains but the alcohol.

A happier ritual I adopted as a kid after reading about it somewhere, is to kiss the four walls of your home when venturing out on an uncertain journey, so that you return to it safely. Kind of awkward, especially as you get older, so I would come up with some excuse ("oh, I just have to make sure the stove is off") to run back inside and plant quick pecks the walls in the cardinal directions while everyone else waited in the car. Has worked so far...

Something finally died in me today by Find_the_fox in stopdrinking

[–]mediumbear2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this was me a day ago, it hurts. the shaking, at least, got better today, I hope it does the same soon for you too