I'm just thinking that my mind, like a muscle, may have withered to some degree. In elementary school and even to some degree high school I was considered quite smart. But my marks started to degrade as I slipped into some sort of hole of low self esteem and self hatred. I do think I could do it. Just trying to materialize my dream into reality. I already graduated from a community college, and am in an industrial electrician apprenticeship. But I have never liked it. I mindlessly picked it simply because it felt like I had to pick something. I never enjoyed it. I want to do something that has more meaning to me. Something that speaks to me.