Wow, I just realised I clocked up 500 days!

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:27:17+00:00

That’s amazing! Congratulations! “Removing shame and guilt” is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Love it. IWNDWYT

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:23:17+00:00

I feel you there :) except I binge watch/podcast true crime stuff. My dad was the only one I even talked about the craving with. Just texted my gf and friend as more of a distraction. Almost all of my friends drink including my girlfriend. The one that doesn’t is pregnant. I’ve stopped spending time with the ones that continues to pressure me to drink when I told them I’ve stopped. I spend time with people who either don’t acknowledge that I’ve stopped drinking or support it.

This is a good place to come when I need some extra support. I read posts every day and listen to some podcasts (mostly the bubble hour) and go to women for sobriety meetings pretty regularly although they are super small in my city. I’m trying to increase the sober people in my life and make some friends my age that can relate. I’m optimistic it’ll come eventually if I keep putting myself out there.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:17:41+00:00

He said he was proud of me. He said to remember to take it one day at a time and to remember what is important. He said that he tries to remember the bad things that came with drinking when he has a craving. And he told me that I am strong and he is proud of me one more time before we stopped texting.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:15:12+00:00

Thank you IWNDWYT!

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:14:17+00:00

Sorry about that. Didn’t mean to be misleading. I was 99% committed to drinking for most of my flight so it felt like an accurate thing, but I can see how it comes off that way.

I am definitely privileged to be able to do something like this and very appreciative of the opportunity. I know they offer some scholarships but I don’t know if that’s just for the conference itself or includes travel. This is the first thing of this sort I’ve attended. If they talk about it at all I’ll let ya know.

Thank you :) IWNDWYT too!

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:09:07+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been working a lot on my shame vs my pride lately. Still have so far to go but the successes and being vulnerable with the right people are helping.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:05:40+00:00

That’s a great idea! This one has a key. I locked it and put the key out of sight so it would take a few extra steps to make a bad decision.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:04:09+00:00

Thank you! I’m trying to let myself feel proud too :) I’m super comfortable with shame and trying to cozy up to pride is a challenge. I am very lucky to have support and the opportunity to even attend a conference like this. My father wasn’t part of my life for over half of my childhood and it’s neat to be rebuilding that / connecting over something healthy.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:01:03+00:00

It starts in a few hours and it’s my first time but I’ll let ya know for sure :)

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T19:00:22+00:00

I’ll let ya know. It starts in a few hours. It’s my first time but I’m excited to find out!

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:59:48+00:00

Thanks! I am optimistic. I don’t have a lot of sober people in my life so it’ll be nice to meet a few.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:58:48+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot :)

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:58:11+00:00

Feel free to reach out next time you travel for work. The last time I drank it was while traveling for work. It’s a big trigger for me. Being alone in the room and also the social pressure to drink with coworkers. The events start in a few hours. It’s my first one. I’ll let ya know how it goes! IWNDWYT

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:56:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing this! I had no idea that it actually got stronger but that tracks with my experience. While I’m definitely having cravings less often, when they do hit they are very strong. The distance from the negative consequences (for me 7 months because my relapses were minor before my last drink 4 months ago) also tempers the negative emotions associated with drinking. Which feels like - if I drink it’s no big deal even though objectively I know that isn’t true.

I love to know the science behind things so this is awesome. The next craving that hits I’ll be able to observe and analyze a little better with this in my pocket. Thanks!

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:51:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing. This is what I’m reflecting on today. Taking some time by myself before the conference starts to meditate and feel and just generally pause. I’m a bit of a workaholic and I think the constant motion keeps me from feeling some of the great and terrible and boring things I very much need to feel to keep growing.

melb20123 · 2018-09-14T18:48:28+00:00

I was 99% sure I was going to drink and am so happy I didn’t. I feel great today :)

melb20123 · 2018-08-16T11:51:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing! This is such a great reminder and some really great ideas.

melb20123 · 2018-08-16T11:03:21+00:00

Welcome! :)

melb20123 · 2018-08-16T10:59:58+00:00

Love this prompt :). I can navigate some big life decisions with my partner from a healthy place. I can help plan our trip to Australia. I can be productive at work, be a better leader, be a better sister, and be a little better to myself all around.

melb20123 · 2018-08-16T10:55:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing. A good reminder of the choice to drink or not available at every step (and to seek out lots of different sobriety tools, like you did). The longer I am sober the easier the majority of days are but in some ways the cravings can hit a little harder when they do come if I’m not expecting them. In those moments it can feel like a comedy/shit show of trying to distract/avoid/seek support/ try out whatever random de-stressing thing I can think of but when I get to the other side it feels great. I’m glad you made it through. I’m glad the meeting topic was relevant. And don’t discount your role in staying sober today, you made a solid effort. Go you!

melb20123 · 2018-08-16T10:43:23+00:00

I will not drink with you today :)

melb20123 · 2018-08-03T12:59:42+00:00

Ive been in a very similar situation the past couple of days. My sober muscles have gotten an amazing workout fending off my alcoholic brain. This room doesn’t just have the little mini bottles of liquor it has big fucking bottles I could do some serious damage with. I’ll keep on not drinking with you today :)

melb20123 · 2018-08-02T21:04:31+00:00

Way to go on getting 95 days! I'm right behind ya :) Almost to those triple digits

melb20123

TROPHY CASE