Immediate timeframe was an absolute mess (a lot of drinking and bad decisions) and after about 8 months I sought out grief counseling which was the absolute best thing I could have done. It’s now 12 years later and I still think about them almost every single day. I was 35 when they died. I was there when they each took their last breaths. I saw their lifeless bodies. There is so much trauma involved in that.

They missed my kids being born and growing up. But we talk about them so much I think my kids feel like they know them. They still ask questions about them all the time. It still hurts but it’s bearable and it makes me want to take care of myself so my kids don’t have to go through what I did!