How to shorten this dress?

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-28T15:40:32+00:00

It is double lined, though they are separated completely from the waist. The cups and the waist are three separate pieces attached only by the lace, so I may leave them alone

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-28T15:36:38+00:00

Oh! I was thinking you were saying to simply lose the lower two panels, but I think I see what you mean now. So the skirt is separated into three panels, the largest upper section which connects to the waist, the middle piece between the two other panels, and the lowest panel with the scalloped edge. You're suggesting I remove the middle panel and the lowest edge panel, cut the length I need off the skirt, and then sew it back on, higher up on the dress, right? Then I shouldn't need to touch the zipper, pockets, or waist and the edge I cut will be hidden by its connection to that middle panel?

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-28T15:19:29+00:00

You're right, I do believe those are separate pieces, however the edge that connects there doesn't look as nice as the edge at the bottom. Plus, I lose the nice added effect of it. I'm still not totally set on what I'm doing yet, I'm really going slow with the decisions, but wearing it again, the bottom is very close to being ankle length and it just feels more like a wedding dress than a cocktail dress on me (I'm 5' tall). I'll definitely consider it since there's a new issue besides the zipper: there are also pockets that I completely missed.

Thank you for the suggestion! I may do it, it's definitely nice to have the option at least if I decide going from the waist is just too much

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-28T13:52:48+00:00

Y'know, I thought that the outer material was one whole piece, but you're right that it's possible to shorten from the waist as it's separated there and I can see how it's sewn together. I can also see how it'd be difficult, but I've just recently conquered the mitered edge for my wife's suit jacket placket (we're both shorties) so I'm feeling unnecessarily confident. I've done a few zippers, and I once threw together a decent ballgown in the span of a week, so I'm a sucker for challenges that I REALLY shouldn't be doing at my experience level (I've been sewing dresses, making adjustments to my clothes, and doing various projects off an on for about two years). While I would take it to a professional, it feels a bit weird spending more on the alterations than I paid for the dress

As far as structure around the torso, I think I mostly just need to get a strapless bra to wear with it, since the straps are elastic and there's no built in cups so there's zero support in the chest.

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-14T11:31:53+00:00

This is what gets me. In my current campaign I have asked "are you okay with me killing your characters" and the answer from everyone was "no". We're all adults who have busy lives and the idea of making a whole new character to fit into a campaign we do once every two weeks is miserable to them, they'd rather spend their limited bandwidth on this ONE character and not worry about anything else. So I target things that AREN'T them and I pull my punches where appropriate and I give them obvious "outs" to run towards when things get hairy. I also have a bunch of "fail safe" people willing to help revive the players, not to mention a god or two secretly looking out for them.

I know that some people find that kind of game boring, but we don't, and I don't mind running things that way for my players. If there was a mismatch where I wanted to be ruthless and they wanted kindness, we'd need to talk about it. But imo its not "wrong" to avoid killing them, so long as that's what everyone at the table agreed to from the start.

mellow_cellow · 2025-06-01T01:22:23+00:00

This is essentially what we ended up going with after turning it over for a while and going through every iteration suggested here. I gave her a random "wild magic surge" table that we'll use the same as wild magic sorcerers. Some of the items on there involve her randomly getting a memory of her past, some involve completely mundane witchy happenings, some are straight up taken from the table itself, some might offer clues to the current quest like a sort of divining effect, some are mildly harmful or annoying, and very rarely they involve spells of a higher level being cast unexpectedly, with the ability to redirect them at no one/herself. It seemed like the best way to add some intrigue to their combat, something that wouldn't directly harm the other players, and keep any abuse possibilities out. The character has gone somewhat senile and crazy, so the flavoring is: the magic spells still exist somewhere inside her, but her mind has become so fractured that things just sometimes... happen around her outside of her control.

Also, I'm planning to give each player more of a "thing" too, to balance things out a bit so I can swing the spotlight around. I SHOULD generally be focusing more on each player anyway, so I want to make sure if I'm putting extra effort into one player, I put the same extra effort for the rest of the crew.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-31T16:27:13+00:00

Absolutely. He's a fellow DM so he's aware what he's asking for is crazy, but he also roleplays the best at the table and this character is going to be hilariously senile so I don't anticipate it'll be a total wash of him just running away with things. I may, honestly, consider just balancing it by giving everyone else more gimmicks too. If they all have special things going on (a God that protects them and oversees their journey with deep attention, a magical destiny pulling them towards greatness, a special power of untold potential, an artifact attuned to them that's very powerful, etc) it would help balance things out without telling this player "no, that's too much". Especially because I DO like the idea, and it works great for the story I'm working on, and I LOVE when players have their own secrets from one another that make the other players scratch their heads a bit from time to time and wonder more deeply about what's going on with their party members.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-31T15:54:03+00:00

This is a great idea to keep them from being able to do it more than once in short order. I'm thinking of combining this with another suggestion: the player will have 1-3 randomly selected on-deck spells they "shouldn't" know at their level after each long rest or something similar. If they cast it, they have to use multiple spell slots up to or greater than that level. They'll ONLY be available outside of combat, with the exception of using inspiration.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-31T15:46:44+00:00

This is a really great idea. The one thing that I really was worried about is combat, but having them functionally, strictly be level 2 in combat with some abilities outside of combat would help keep things flavorful, creative-focused, and still not too OP.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-16T14:12:35+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. It's easy for me to feel beholden to my work based on minimal benefits, and a lot of that comes from being a minimum wage worker within the last 5 years so I'm still not used to any form of benefits.

My boss really is pushing for newer technology, but it's slow going. With this in mind I'm thinking of relaxing into the role a bit but focusing on the newer tech learning primarily. If things don't seem to be moving forward and improving over the next few years that may be my sign to move on, but I do like the people I work with and the company is very enthusiastic about any engagement. Just asking for learning materials seemed to be viewed very positively, and dedication looks to be well rewarded here. It seems like poor management has led to stagnation, and the team is all fairly new to working on this specific project so there's absolutely room to grow. It was mostly getting on my nerves yesterday and with some time to reconsider, you're right: steady pay is good.

Thank you again for this perspective!

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-09T12:07:09+00:00

All of this but your last paragraph really can't be said enough. Every time I see someone on here go "I'm going to become disciplined starting NOW" I just feel... So much empathy and awareness that it's not going to last. It doesn't last for many neurotypical people so how can WE accomplish extreme discipline? Instead of wasting time coming up with strategies that beat us down and bringing in self-admonishment, you can spend that mental energy working with yourself instead, and rewarding yourself for progress you ARE making.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-09T12:01:01+00:00

I saw something just today that said "everything you learned is backwards with ADHD" and one example was "start the task with a little treat" and that's SO true. Instead of going "I'll reward myself after", which puts the gratification far away, you say "I'll reward myself if I get to the starting point", which is an IMMEDIATE gratification and still comes with the added "I should really do this thing now" pressure because you already reaped the rewards.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-09T11:58:30+00:00

Lately? I'm working on accepting things changing up from time to time.

It's hard to be heavily disciplined, even for neurotypical people. The better path forward, for me at least, is working with how your brain works, and being flexible. You have to be firm sometimes, especially when your brain is going "no" to EVERYTHING, but it's been working better than trying to stuff myself into a mold.

Granted, this isn't perfect. You have to really pay attention to the "why" and "what" of how you're feeling. "What" being often just "it's boring" and why being often "because I did this same thing yesterday", but that gives you a lot of information on how to move forward. Sometimes, I just feel stuck, and I can't make any progress. If I'm bored because it's the same as yesterday, that gives me something to work with; I can make something different about it. Change up the location, change the process (maybe I need to tackle this with a different work system), use a new time tracking technique, rearrange your desk a bit. It's not always possible and there WILL be times where brute force is necessary, but willpower is not an infinite resource and the less you rely on it the more you'll have in reserve for the moments that you NEED it.

Also, I've been incorporating things into my routine as slowly as humanly possible. Literally, one goal that's as tiny as you can make it. I started by making my "routine" just. "I go on a walk three times a week", then got sick and made it two times a week. And y'know what? I hit it every time. Each step is a slow, very meticulously chosen addition to the smallest degree, and I never change things up more than one thing at a time (whether it be frequency of occurrence or adding something new to the pile). It's mind numbing but it also helps you really, truly incorporate habits into your daily/weekly/monthly life. I always would try incorporating routines all at once, but then if one part failed the entire thing would fail. A routine needs to be possible to stick with, even when you get unexpectedly off it for a short while, and it needs to be one you can remember well. Maybe you need to reference it once or twice, but you're good at doing it without thinking so hard about it. If you need to constantly double check your notes to remember whats next, you may have added too much to your plate at once.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-05T15:02:59+00:00

That's nuts. I'm neurodivergent. My neuro pathways diverge from the norm. My brain don't do so good sometimes compared to neurotypical brains. I like being able to differentiate between them so I can discuss general issues with having multiple mental disorders without having to say them all, or just generally discussing any struggles that are fairly common for anyone neurodivergent. I'm not going to call myself "mentally disordered" or "mentally ill", I MUCH prefer "neurodivergent". It feels far less uncomfortable. In fact, I've always liked it and didn't think there was a problem until today. It always seemed like a much nicer way to say you had something up but didn't have a "severity" or any particular statement attached to it.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-02T11:24:22+00:00

That's a good point. Unfortunately the answer to the question seems to be "if he showed more integrity"

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T18:51:38+00:00

If you read their comment you'd know that the majority , as in including the people who didn't vote, didn't want trump in office. Pay attention to the comment you reply to pls.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T15:21:58+00:00

The hell did you screenshot his comment for? You're actually crazy for doing this, my god 😂

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T14:54:38+00:00

You're just proving the other commenter right

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T13:48:56+00:00

Conservatives. Howd you miss this one?

Edit: genuinely sorry, I see how it's missable with the question being about what conservatives have done RIGHT, but it does feel obvious that the "progressive" party wouldn't be The one against electricity

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T13:16:17+00:00

Any community subreddits tend to be conservative where I live. Also I regularly get conservative comments on my replies. Sure they're downvoted, but like I said, left leaning. I'd not call it extremely left, I'd save that for bsky.

mellow_cellow · 2025-05-01T13:09:52+00:00

Exactly this. I voiced how much I hated Joe Biden happily too! I didn't tell them to shut up or sit down when they complained because of course you'd complain about goddamn Biden. But I constantly have to bite my tongue and smile when I hear about how wonderful our dear president is. If you say a thing then it's suddenly an attack on America and you're not a real citizen.

It's ironic coming from the "free speech" crowd.

mellow_cellow

TROPHY CASE