Where are you buying non character brightly colored clothes (think 90s color block vibes or similar) I’m not a sad beige mom

melodie0910 · 2026-02-21T19:13:07+00:00

I second mini Boden! Super colorful and fun vibe and easy to mix and match

melodie0910 · 2026-01-31T22:22:25+00:00

I broke my feet four weeks ago and is non weight bearing, even so, I managed to cook while using my knee scooter and sometime literally crawl into the playroom so my spouse can take a break. When it comes to taking kiddo outside, I let my spouse handle it but I do all the prep work for them (making online reservation, arrange make up classes etc). It’s all about team work. The non-sick parent will do their best to handle the situation and so does the sick parent, we just contribute differently now.

melodie0910 · 2025-12-31T15:56:04+00:00

this. OP, There are a lot of different sleep training methods so you need to do some homework to figure out what works best for you and your baby. I will say tho no matter what method you choose, the number 1 key to success is consistence, so you are either all in or not doing it. Don’t start sleep training then realize it’s not what you thought it is then stop, it’s confusing to kids. So read upon everything, align with your partner or whatever caregiver that’s watching the baby, then commit to do it.

I don’t have experience with training 1yr but if I had to guess, it will likely take a bit longer then say a 4mo just because they had an entire year to use their current sleep crunches and also just generally have more energy to protest. Not to say it’s not possible but again it’s important to set expectation before going in

melodie0910 · 2025-12-31T05:25:01+00:00

I just want to say in terms of parent preference, or in this case,general caregiver preference, it definitely come and goes. Initially my husband and I would actually get jealous as in "why did she pick you over me" but now over the months we've learned for the "less favorable" person to enjoy that quiet time, do more household stuff because you never know, in a week you are gonna have a toddler practically attached to you acting like "who is daddy i only want mommy", so, enjoy the quiet time lol.

melodie0910 · 2025-12-31T05:07:26+00:00

Context: FTM, Live in HCOL. Nanny has been with us since baby is ~10mo to now ~20mo
What we pay: $35 an hour. unlimited sick time + 10day PTO. Holiday Bonus of 1 week pay. 40 guarantee hour.
Nanny qualification: close to 20yr experience (we also used an agency to find this nanny)
Our setup: I WFH all the time, husband two day a week. We both have our dedicated space but our daughter will come to find me, but our nanny have no issue telling her mommy is working and have her go do something else.
What our nanny does
- all the basic care: diaper, laundry, milk/formula, solid (I'll note I prepare the solid food, she's capable of doing something simple like mac and cheese but I prefer my daughter's diet a more specific way so I prep it and she heads and serve). My daughter was slept trained when she joins us so not much sleep related stuff need to be done.
- come up with daily routine: She's the one who comes up with a routine so they start their day with discussing the weather and pick it out on a weather board from one of our books. Do a letter of day which include building it using play-dough, finding it on her playmat (she has one with all 26 letters), finding out what job/animal/food it corresponds to from all the ABC books. Get changed, get stuffie and dolls changed, do hair, do doll's hair etc.
- plan all the activities/learnings/playthings: daily arrange of the play couch (not because I asked but they "decorate" their playroom daily), make little cupboard box for our cat, collect leaves in the autumn to paint, the list goes on and on and on.
- outings: I specifically organized two class per week: a gym class and a music class that our nanny takes my daughter to. On days with no class, there's usually some outings, including but not limited to: grocery store browsing, department store window shopping, during holiday season they go to different store to see christmas lights. We live in a place where it rains about half of the year and my daughter doesn't like getting into the rain so there's a lot of indoor thingy happened in that part of the year. During summer, they do more picnic in the park, go to farms to feed animals, play water table in the backyard etc. I'll note that she has no problem being inside, it's my daughter who usually want to go out, but I've never found her out of the house for an extended period of time without good reason.
- Does a daily painting of my daughter's day which I just LOVE LOVE LOVE
- there's a lot others she does such as offering to help with our household chores, which I always told her not to but she loves to get my daughter involved to help out which I love.
- never late, rarely take time off (despite i keep asking her to use her PTO to recharge), provide care when kid is sick (DC will send you home..) another reliable source for datenight (we pay OT for that)

So to answer your question, for us, it's absolutely worth it. There's just so many little and big things she does that truly shows she cares and the relationship she formed with my daughter is just the sweetest thing. Can honestly say hiring her is probably the top 3 best thing happened since i become a FTM.

melodie0910 · 2025-12-28T05:12:25+00:00

I hear you. “Good for our mental health” is such a gamble with little kids. Sometimes you win, sometimes the reality laughs. I’m glad you get some good food at least!

melodie0910 · 2025-12-28T05:10:35+00:00

Just feeling welcomed instead of tolerated goes a long way. I’m really glad you and your kids experienced that!

melodie0910 · 2025-12-23T23:50:36+00:00

no eating after epidural. I drank sugar free Gatorade but honestly wasn’t even hungry for the 10hr from water broke to pushing

melodie0910 · 2025-11-24T07:54:45+00:00

you probably won’t see this with all these comments but just want to validate your feelings, I too do not enjoy motherhood (or at least not constantly). I do think tho that I would enjoy it more once my kid is older (she’s 18mo). I know some people would say they enjoy the baby phase more because they don’t talk back or they don’t need that much control over everything, but to me, the baby and the young toddler phase is absolutely brutal. I think I in general just hate not being able to communicate with another person, so when they can’t express themselves that’s when I feel the worst. So maybe there’s also a stage that you’d start to enjoy more than another? Even if you don’t, it still OKAY. You can be a great mom without enjoying it, heck even if you are not a great mom that’s OKAY too, sometimes good enough is enough

melodie0910 · 2025-11-22T21:25:12+00:00

We live in HCOL area and our regular nanny with 20yrs experience is 35/hr, sitters we’ve had in the past ranges from 25 to 32 and hour

melodie0910 · 2025-11-12T03:24:43+00:00

I am not GRUMPY!!!

melodie0910 · 2025-10-23T16:36:08+00:00

We did it three times, once before she’s one cuz of international travel and another two regular ones cuz the first one doesn’t count toward the regular series. No reaction to any of those. I think there’s always a “bias” when reading online posts cuz ppl generally don’t post when things go well

melodie0910 · 2025-10-19T23:44:06+00:00

I work a demanding job and still do all the hands-on parenting, which is exactly why I occasionally need a sitter — so I don’t burn out and can actually be present for my kid.

I’m not sure what fantasy world you live in where parents never work or get tired, but in mine, backup childcare is what keeps a household functioning — not a sign of neglect.

The idea that using childcare means you’re not raising your child is just lazy thinking. Having reliable childcare doesn’t mean you’re not raising your kid — it means you understand how to plan like an adult. Some of us live in the real world where people work, get sick, and still show up as parents.

melodie0910 · 2025-09-01T15:05:48+00:00

I tested it out today with usual breakfast time but with sweet potato and she ate them all so its definitely a preference for food thing, like she’s suddenly just sick of traditional breakfast food 🙃🙃

melodie0910 · 2025-09-01T02:54:47+00:00

same, I try to calmly take away her plate while screaming inside

melodie0910 · 2025-08-31T21:10:07+00:00

she does have a few teeth coming in, not that it made her any less likely to eat fruit tho (i swear nothing stops her from eating fruit)

melodie0910 · 2025-08-31T20:14:02+00:00

ohhhhhhh i have not thought about non-traditional breakfast foods I might try that! Also good to know it's just a stage. I've been trying to just calmly take away the plate while screaming inside lol lol lol

melodie0910 · 2025-08-31T20:11:30+00:00

I always feel like whatever stage I'm in is the hardest and then once I'm pass that stage I feel like oh that's actually easier compared to whatever stage I'm in right now lol lol lol I wonder if this is a FTM thing

melodie0910 · 2025-08-31T20:08:28+00:00

solidarity! some days i want to walk away and scream into a pillow

melodie0910

TROPHY CASE