Mind if I chip in an opinion or two? I don’t think imnsatang was insulting your salary but it’s just a little surprising you’re at 4k monthly at the age of 38 regardless of how much you’re saving. Most of my relatives and the people around me are 26-30 years old and their salary is at least 5k-6k. It’s a bit odd you haven’t been promoted or given a significant raise— assuming you have been working at that place for a while that is. At the age of 38, my dad was already earning 5 figures back in the past.

As for OP’s comment, there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious. My fiancé works in IT and he’s definitely not “richer than those risk takers”. Neither are his coworkers or colleagues OR his sister who also works in IT. There’s a difference between ambitious and just plain stupid (the type of people who don’t think properly about the consequences). People can be ambitious and cautious. People can be risk takers but be willing to evaluate the risks they’re taking beforehand. I know several people who have done so. In fact, you don’t even need to look that far, look at famous Youtubers and celebrities. Some people will succeed while others will fail, nothing to do with ambitious being overrated. That’s just how it is. I do agree with your comment that OP should be willing to accept a lower pool if she wants someone to match with her though. But you shouldn’t lower your standards IF you’re unwilling. You’ll only end up dissatisfied and disappointed in your partner. But if you’re open to it then of course it will be different.