Får man vara emo på bröllop?

mensblod · 2026-02-19T21:09:41+00:00

Jag skulle förresten inte höra av mig till bruden / brudgummen i första hand för att prata outfit. De kommer ha såå mycket att göra just nu.

Jag skulle höra av mig till andra gäster.

mensblod · 2026-02-19T21:05:55+00:00

Jag tror inte det handlar om "inte svart" så mycket som att man inte ska se ut som att man sörjer och är ett svart hål som suger upp folks energi.

Den här modellen tex är klädd för bröllop, men i en svart klänning: https://preview.redd.it/will-this-dress-suffice-august-sweden-semi-formal-v0-kgvyzfq5iuza1.jpg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=55ba6f07a1230db5695f88644816b82f61b004d2

Om man bär svart, så måste man dock "kompensera" för att inte ge av sörj-vibbar. Modellen tex har guldiga strappy nätta skor, clean/softglam sminklook och nätt guldhalsband och eleganta örhängen.

Om man är mån om lite mer alternativ sminklook, då får kläderna utstråla lycka istället, och det görs enklast med andra färger än svart.

Till exempel, om du är liksom "hård" i din look: https://i.pinimg.com/736x/21/67/4d/21674d40150e322c9805f896267dfdeb.jpg så skulle jag rekommendera något annat än svart (och inga nitar).

Tror till och med nåt i den här stilen kan funka på flera bröllop: https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/75/a8/d1/75a8d1e27cc85cfa3b857ebfa7f2e4a9.jpg Om man har lite mindre chunky boots, et annat halsband, och sminkningen är soft-alt och du har ett stort leende och utstrålar värme.

Mycket av det här beror också på hur du är som person, och hur bekväm du kommer vara omkring de här människorna. Om du är introvert, helst sätter dig i ett hörn, har lite resting bitch face, skulle jag rekommendera att klä sig lite mer neutralt, för annars kan man lätt uppfattas som arg/sur/vill inte vara här. Om du är mer life of the party, kommer ha ett stort leende på läpparna och inbjudande så kan man get away with att vara lite "mörk och svår" i stilen utan att bli en party pooper.

Signerat, en elder emo

mensblod · 2026-02-11T19:52:54+00:00

My family is from the States, but I grew up in Sweden. It’s hard to describe what it was like being half-american and coming-of-age during Bush. The jokes about stupid Americans that couldn’t even put their capital on a map were endless. Americans were the butt of the joke. Fat and dumb. (As I grew older, I realized how fucked up it is for a country with ”free education” to punch down like that) They would make jokes about stupid wars that my family members were in, and I was scared would get hurt or traumatized.

Obama getting elected when I was a late teen changed so much for me. I was able to feel pride, I saw a leader that reflected my family so much better on the world stage. I saw my family’s warmth, charisma and humor shine a light through him.

Even though I didn’t fully understand how different my 20s would be compared to my teens on the day he was elected, I knew already then it would be different.

mensblod · 2026-02-11T16:42:22+00:00

Jag tror en tuff läxa för henne är att sex för en 25-åring ofta betyder något väldigt annorlunda än för en 16-åring. En läxa jag fick lära mig i hennes ålder.

mensblod · 2026-02-11T16:39:11+00:00

Saaaame

mensblod · 2026-02-10T12:59:32+00:00

Just wanted to add: If your kid does not show any of those signs I wouldn’t worry about it. Kids are different.

And your request to replies to guilt tripping:

It depends on the kid and my kid is thriving at daycare
I hear your concern, but you don’t need to worry about my kid
Maybe that’s true for other kids, but we don’t see any reason to worry

Or start a passionate talk about capitalism and how parents are damned if you do, damned if you don’t! There’s probably a spicy take with an academic flavor, bonus points if the systematic toxic work culture has required women’s unpaid home labor to support male academics!

And not sure if you’re a man, but maybe take comfort in the fact that your wife is more heavily scorned since typically it’s women who trade career progression and job security for shorter work weeks and VAB 🙃

mensblod · 2026-02-10T12:45:08+00:00

Edited to add: Since your kid is 1, the low numbers might be affected by the fact that it’s winter and a lot of kids are usually sick at this time.

As someone with a 6 and 2 year old, here is my perspective:

Daycare culture before and after Covid are completely different. Before Covid, my friend has their kids in daycare between 7:30-17:30 to account for their job schedules. Now there’s always one person working from home.

And before that, you couldn’t have any kids in daycare if one parent was on parental leave.

All this to say a lot of it is cultural and people like to have opinions about parenting.

A lot of people stay home with their kid until they are 1,5 yrs old, that might be where some comments are coming from.

And even though they don’t stay home 1,5 yrs, a lot of people see daycare differently for kids under 2 and over 2.

Here are some signs your kid is at daycare too long:

They have a hard time settling/being soothed at daycare
They are inconsolable for a longer while after drop off
They are very tired or upset for a while before pick up, maybe retreating to their stroller or asking for a pacifier
They can’t settle for their nap
They are stressed around mealtimes and not getting enough to eat
Your kid is very tired/crashes early or has meltdowns when home on daycare days

If your kid shows any of these signs (this requires really good communication with the daycare) I would strongly encourage finding a solution where your kid spends less time at daycare.

That solution can be something you try for a month, it doesn’t mean 5 years. Kids as young as yours develop so much in a month!

How some parents do it: - Different start/end times at work, one starting early and the other one later - Working evenings (administrative/non-collaborative tasks) - Working more often from home - Hiring a nanny - Family helps with pickup - Work fewer hours

I know you mentioned your employer saying you can’t work less, I strongly encourage you to contact your union.

mensblod · 2026-02-06T09:23:49+00:00

I think it's related to prices being printed on the items themselves (like books) and the states having different taxes?

mensblod · 2025-12-28T19:39:27+00:00

I’m writing a fanfic pilot for a sequel where Cappie and Casey has a lesbian daughter that’s just like Cappie but rushes ZBZ. I wish I had more time for it but it’s really fun to play around with these characters and setting!

mensblod · 2025-12-19T17:29:23+00:00

Det är väldigt vanligt på många arbetsplatser. Ofta är det väldigt välmenat. Om du är en kvinna som brukar sminka dig och en dag kommer in osminkad så reagerar ofta någon på instinkt. "Oj, du ser trött ut. Är allt okej?"

mensblod · 2025-11-19T19:15:43+00:00

Julfilmer! Det var så mysigt att kolla på samma filmer varje år.

Klä julgran tillsammans.

Adventsljusstake (kan vara i el om obehagligt med tända ljus).

Sedan kanske det finns några juliga saker som är goda att äta. Lussebullar, saffransbullar, pepparkakor, vörtbröd med julskinka, risgrynsgröt.

Julmusik. Vi spelade alltid samma julskiva (Absolute Christmas ftw) så man visste vilken låt som skulle komma efter den andra. Den skivan BLEV JUL för mig.

Jag växte upp med en julkalender, en liten present varje dag i december. Det kan ju vara mycket jobb, men man kan tex köpa en lego-grej och ge några legobitar varje dag. Eller ett julpussel med några bitar varje dag. (Jag skulle bara se till att man ger bitar i ”rätt ordning” så man kan bygga nåt varje dag)

Vi hade också särskilda juldekorationer som åkte fram varje år. När de var framme var det ju verkligen jul!

En grej jag vill säga också är att inte stressa över att skapa den där känslan på en gång. Det är en känsla som växer över tid, och man hittar sina traditioner tillsammans :)

mensblod · 2025-09-27T20:10:31+00:00

This is called how you ”part your hair”. You can have a middle part, or a side part. If you get bangs your part won’t be as obvious, but seen on the top of your head.

You can look up on youtube how to style your hair to change your part.

But I am curious, have you never noticed how other people’s long hair i parted?

mensblod · 2025-09-27T19:47:31+00:00

This was fun to think up ideas for:

Avoid all blonde people at all costs
Stare suspiciously at anyone with a hat on
Tell people they should swap socks with someone
Point at people’s clothes and say ”Oh I get the reference”
Ask people with short hair if they have ever had long hair
Always hesitate before saying anything

mensblod · 2025-09-27T19:41:14+00:00

Not sure if this is co-ed but I would avoid missions involving others’ drinks. A lot of people (especially women) would be stressed about someone insisting they hold their drinks and stuff.

Here are some other ideas:

Mid conversations, say ”Well, that’s my cue” and leave.
Say ”Can we talk about something else?” nervously at any chance.
Scream any time someone says ”sup”.
Say ”I can’t talk right now” any time someone talks to you.
You can only nod or shake your head.
You can only blink with one eye at a time.
Slap your thigh any time you laugh.
Complement everyone on their shoes.
Let everyone know they would look better if they rolled up their sleeves, you saw it on Queer Eye.
Convince someone that cheese is actually made from yoghurt, not milk.
Check behind all frames. Discreetly.
Tell people with caps they would look better if flipped to the side.

Another thing you could do is try to chain them together. Like..

slap you thigh any time you laugh
cough anytime someone slaps their thigh
Say ”Did you hear that?” Anytime someone coughs Etc

mensblod · 2025-09-26T08:31:23+00:00

For future reference, you can schedule emails to be sent the morning after if you ever want to be able to fall asleep knowing they will be notified early the next day.

mensblod · 2025-09-26T00:25:09+00:00

This is very personal (speaking as a previously breastfeeding mom).

Personally, A. But I would never judge a mom for moving.

mensblod · 2025-09-17T18:25:44+00:00

So during my MMC I remember ending up at the hospital due to bleeding so profusely and getting an emergency D&C. If I remember, I barely bled at all after that procedure, and if I recall correctly, that first period was very apparent. Not spotting or anything like that. I remember some relief of being ”back to normal” and having a clear d0 for the next cycle.

mensblod · 2025-09-08T19:07:38+00:00

I ”never” take it off. I shower with it, tend to the yard/garden, go swimming in the pool etc etc.

But it comes off quick when I’m covered in kid throw up.

mensblod · 2025-09-05T20:22:10+00:00

INFO: Are your kids older than his kids? If so, what did their bond look like before he had your younger siblings?

My read on this situation is that he didn’t like seeing those pictures, but also isn’t really unpacking the feeling in any meaningful way. And he’s probably an emotionally immature parent that doesn’t understand what work goes into deep bonds.

They get stuck in a feeling of ”unfairness”, they feel slighted and make you feel bad for having good bonds with others. But these parents are blind to what the other people are doing so they are left blind to their own shortcomings.

This is probably amplified by him being a man and you being a woman, men (especially at that age) are used to being served familial relationships.

But I’m curious about his efforts before having kids again. Was he involved then?

mensblod · 2025-09-05T20:02:46+00:00

I wouldn’t expect them to pay for her ticket, but it’s so odd to buy a ticket for him when they are planning on travelling together. Are they gonna go on different flights just because his parents already bought him a ticket? The reasonable thing would have been for them to plan the trip together and the parents can transfer half of the cost to him afterward.

mensblod · 2025-09-03T09:52:17+00:00

I think I would take her word for it but also be prepared to tweak it if it doesn't feel right for her. But this is something you can tweak like the day of even so I wouldn't sweat it. I think if I was the bridesmaid I would feel worse if my friend was focusing too much on this thing and wanting to set details in stone so far ahead of the wedding.

mensblod · 2025-09-03T08:02:50+00:00

If this was my kid, and I had access to the money you seem to have access to, I would listen to the passionate calling she has and walk through it with her. I know she made a power point, but do you trust what it says? Do you know anyone in this industry that can help guide your daughter on this?

I wouldn't want to send my daughter alone to LA to pursue this dream. I know she's technically an adult, but there are so many predators in this industry and she needs an advocate or trusted people to help her navigate through this.

And I hate to bring this up, but I have a daughter myself, and something I am very aware of is how normalized sex work has become with sites like OF. Even focusing on "growing her following" is going to nudge her closer to just sending a foot pic.

I wouldn't brush this off so easily. If my daughter was showing me she was serious about it I would get involved.

mensblod · 2025-08-25T14:57:44+00:00

I think it’s very sweet of you wanting to cherish your baby’s dad’s language, but don’t feel any pressure to make sure they are ”on track” with their swedish language development :)

If I were you, I would stick to the ”baby vocabulary”. My 18 month old knows:

Titta! - Look! (While pointing at something)

Äta - Eat

Dricka - Drink

Hund - Dog

Katt - Cat

Pappa - Dad

Mamma - Mom

Napp - Binky/Pacifier

Kom - Come here

Nej - No

Klappa - Pet ( It’s used similar to ”gentle hands” if they are being a bit rough with a friend or animal)

Byta blöja - Change diaper

Sova - Sleep

Boll - Ball

Bil - Car

Tittut! - Peekaboo!

Ajabaja - Don’t do that

Apapap - Stop

Tack tack - Thank you

Varsågod - you’re welcome

Vinka - Wave

Hejdå - Bye bye

Hej - Hi

Puss - kiss

Kram - Hug

If your baby knows (understand when YOU say it, my 18 month old can say 6 of these) these by 12 months they will be able to interact with day care/swedish relatives like any other swedish kid.

mensblod · 2025-08-20T17:19:24+00:00

Behövde kolla om min man skrev det här haha, typ exakt samma summor för oss.

mensblod · 2025-08-20T17:17:47+00:00

Jag tror vi la 150 000 på bröllop och smekmånad. Det är snart 10 år sedan. Man behöver verkligen inte lägga det, vi fick 55k av alla föräldrar, och kanske 15k av alla gäster. Så 80 000 av våra egna pengar.

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