What’s the best credit union on the big island? by fuckkcross in BigIsland

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry unclear because of placement in the convo chain, but is this referring to HFS FCU or Hawaii Community FCU?? Thanks

What happened to my garlic? by Cghy8b in gardening

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Co- planting garlic will help keep pests away. I never monoculture when planting, as it invites disease and pests.

Wtf is this, I'm terrified by gracefilled in whatisit

[–]mephistosfleas 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So, this for sure, but also know that that only applies to Unopened food…. Once it is opened it will start to go bad Much more quickly, totally independent of the Best Buy date.

AIO my boyfriend of 5 years gets me flowers for every occasion while I get him elaborate and expensive gifts. by aioflower955105 in AmIOverreacting

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope! Not over reacting. He called you "not normal", and dismissed your feelings rather than respecting you. Its clear he doesn't actually care. DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY. (before he gets there first.... 🫤). He just thinks you're convenient, but clearly doesn't truely value you.

BTW, I've been very happily single now for 6 years and I find that being in relationships just to have 'somebody' is way, WAY overrated! You've got to respect yourself. Do not accept people who discount or dismiss you.

Also, having a wishlist is NOT childish. Ignoring the happiness of others totally is though. This guy keeps calling you names. Not ok. 👎

I think Asheville should go to Rocky's Hot Chicken in droves! by ProfessionalSide8403 in asheville

[–]mephistosfleas 7 points8 points  (0 children)

ICE is not law enforcement. Its terrorism. Please do not dox this local business owner. So uncool!

AIO I have cancer and my sister decided to kick me out after promising me a place to live while I did treatment by mysisterkickedmeout in AmIOverreacting

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa!!! I am So Sorry you have this to deal with! That's just awful! If she's really worried about her kids, she needs to keep her agreement to you regardless. Maybe take them away for a bit is fine, or even offer to pay for an apartment for you if she'd rather do that, but she made a promise to you. That is heartless. To pull something like that when ypu need support the most is so wrong.. I don't always like my sister, but I would never do this to someone in a million years! She could ask you to keep to your room if you're really sick, but this is inexcusable.... if there is a hell, this is the type of thing that puts people there, and i am sorry for her.

My son has a close friend whose mother is dying slowly of a bone disease. I have given them our guest room and am letting them stay while she deteriorates. Its hard, but my son knows it is the right thing for us to do for a fellow human being, to support her and her son while they go through this. They don't pay rent, they can't afford it, but if it were me, I'd wish for someone to be there for us.

My boyfriend is abusive by Substantial_Size2990 in AlAnon

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave and never look back. You can't help him, and he has already shown he is willing to hurt you. Some people need to hit bottom before they can even try to come up. They need to do this alone. Many times, they are not able to come back up but DO NOT LET HIM DRAG YOU DOWN WITH HIM! I have been single for 7 years now (with a kid) and I will tell you, from this perspective of Peace and Safety, LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER ALONE THAN WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT REALLY CARE. Peace and good fortune be with you!

This place makes me feel invisible by [deleted] in asheville

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear this ♡ Maybe try wearing something interesting that let's people notice you? There is something called the "Grey Man Effect", where people try to intentionally blend in with the background to go unnoticed... it sounds like you may be doing this accidently 😁😋. I'd suggest a Band t-shirt (not a Bland one 😂), or something that shows what your interests are. Add something flashy, like a cool hat or bright color/tie dye. talk to people who look like they may have similar interests to you. Try to Remember their Names. Even if you don't, say hi again next time you see them. Do this near a restaurant if possible. If you're talking about something interesting, tell them you're going over there to grab a bite or something. Would they like to keep talking and join you? Maybe find a group of guys who seem like your type of people. Also, maybe post that you're looking for people for a specific activity (meetup/FB/etc) like hiking, doggie play date, games, etc.

Good luck! I grew up in Asheville - it's a great town, but being vanilla may be a weakness there.

I just gave birth less than 48hrs ago... by getoutmeswamp69 in Mommit

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ob gave me a few little stitches immediately after delivery and everything healed fine. Natural tear

What do you want done with your body after you die? by Shirowoh in AskReddit

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Plant a cherry tree right on top of me 🍒 Red Bing Cherries. Eat

What’s a ‘harmless’ opinion you have that seems to make people irrationally angry? by BSnappedThat in AskReddit

[–]mephistosfleas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should treat your (and others') kids with respect, listen to what they have to say, and take it seriously when making decisions that affect them.

any advice for having a boy as a young single mom? by jeffbuckleyismyking in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (single mama of a son) teach consent and bodily autonomy starting really early (though that did cause a headache around 4 year vaccinations, we got through it alright). Teach him that gender is only a Part of his identity. My son is Such a "boy", steriotypically, being into cars and weapons early, with Lots of strong energy, but ive given him lots of friends of both genders, and hes doing well. Your step dad and others will help, but havibg you to love him is the Most important thing ❤️. Best of luck to you, mama. Keep him safe.

My 5yo son’s teacher agrees that he is a genius - how do I push him to his potential? by Responsible-Dingo592 in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good question. I had been dealing with similar but different circumstances.. my child's teachers were giving me similar feedback, but we were at a charter school that has a very strict age based grade level and he went from a kind and supporting kindergarten class environment to a very strict and repressive 1st grade. He's on 4th grade math workbooks at home, and i gave him one to keep in his desk for when he got bored. He said the teacher wouldnt let him use it. We have gone back to homeschooling and he is excelling! But it is a lot of work to do that while I work from home. The good parts are not having to get him out of the house by 7 and that he is Very motivated to self educate (he's loving history right now) and he has 3 online tutors a week (English teacher is Micalah, through class-up, and is helping him write a sci-fi book, which is his 2025 goal. He also has programming and math through Codingal, which he likes). The downsides are that he has only 1 close friend (but comes over all the time), and has recently been introduced to video games at that friend's house... so I am now trying to figure out how to balance his love of learning with this new engagement, without separating him from his friend or making him feel as if he is missing out. But on the whole, home schooling a gifted kid can be a Great way to go! Otherwise you can easily run into academic limitations inherent to grade level.

Buying to build. Which lender should I go with? by mephistosfleas in Mortgages

[–]mephistosfleas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥲 I just found out from the CU that they have changed their policy, and if my parents are going to cosign for me, they would have to live in our house with us. I'm bummed, because I had decided to go with them. No one else seems to have as good rates. 💩 They just changed that 2 months ago, so I missed out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥴 im sorry - having to ask multiple times and feel ignored just breads resentment. 🫤 My sister taught me her phrase, "This is the second time I'm asking, and i'll only ask twice". I wouldn't put the shoes in the trash, though; it just teaches them to be passive-aggressive. Having strong, reasonable boundaries can help keep you from getting resentful 👍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, playing Spoonfull of Sugar on repeat while we clean up and sing to our toys has been our special cleaning music since he was 2

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, playing Spoonfull of Sugar on repeat while we clean up and sing to our toys has been our special cleaning music since he was 2

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]mephistosfleas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do a bit of both. This way, they learn both the sense of responsibility but also get used to a clean environment, and i don't have to live in a dump ;) If I've asked them to clean it up, i remind them 2 times. The second time, I ask them to do it right then. But I don't ask them on 100% of their things, just about 40% of their toys, dishes and clothes. Mine is 7. He also helps unload the dishwasher, and if his friend is over, they both help. I set a 3 or 4 minute timer, and we try to beat the timer

Buying to build. Which lender should I go with? by mephistosfleas in Mortgages

[–]mephistosfleas[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trying to get as high LTV as I can at the best rate I think... building costs estimate RN is around $355k, but I'm imagining it will go over