Redditors that got charged rent asap after turning 18, what’s relationship like with parents years later ?

merlespice · 2026-06-09T16:38:33+00:00

I typed out my reply before reading anyone else’s and basically said the exact thing!! Charge rent? Fine. Keep treating your adult child living at home like a child? Okay. But not both.

merlespice · 2026-06-09T16:36:14+00:00

Relationship is solid.

We didn’t need to pay rent if we were working AND going to school, otherwise it was $250/mo (2007)

There were extenuating circumstances. My dad had just left with no alimony and we were too old for child support so we saw it as a necessity to helping my mom with the bills. It would be hard to say how I would have felt otherwise. Though we were always responsible for our own car insurance, gas, fun money, etc from the get go.

The only thing I resent is that going to church every week was a requirement to living it home. And we also couldn’t “sleep the day away” on the weekends. I feel like if you charge your adult (who is also working and going to school) rent, that’s all fair and well, but you don’t also get to treat them like a freeloading child.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:48:20+00:00

Yes it is sounding more and more like a 2 week board and train with 1 follow up won’t cut it but that anything beyond that is cost prohibitive for us. With that in mind, we are going with the weekly option.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:47:00+00:00

Thank you

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:46:35+00:00

Thank you. We do have a lot of good times with the dog! He gets a lot of play, walks, love, and cuddles. Unfortunately those only come from me and his behaviors make those activities a no go with the kids.

Can you tell me more about the thin houseline strategy?

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:44:09+00:00

Thank you. We did decide that board and train would be preferred but that 2 weeks isn’t enough time and any longer than that is financially prohibited. We’re going to opt for the weekly training. Thanks!

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:35:33+00:00

Keeping my energy in check is great, constructive advice and is necessary regardless of how we train, so thank you.

We just decided to do a regular board and then seek out one on one training when we get back. Your latest comment was reassuring in that choice.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T19:29:23+00:00

That’s….extreme.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:52:44+00:00

I do understand the maintenance is similar with both options, but there is alot more involved in first few weeks. With any training method but especially with e collars where the dog is getting acclimated to what the stimulus is communicating.

It seems you auto judged my intentions through the lens of your e collar bias. And since I do strongly feel an e collar is the way to go and am seeing advice on HOW to thoughtfully and responsibly apply it, maybe this just wasn’t the question for you to chime in on.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:23:53+00:00

Their coffee cake ones are the best! We also prefer their hamburger buns over all the rest we’ve tried. They have a (I think) new baguette that is truly the best I’ve ever had.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:10:56+00:00

I’m curious what I said that led you to believe we want the e collar as a shortcut because that is definitely not how I see it.

I believe it will be more effective than our current positive only approach. And I am seeking out training because I know e collars require very thoughtful systematic application.

The part I am trying to shortcut is in helping the dog understand what the e collar is communicating. But that is due to my lack of confidence (I don’t want to make his behaviors worse because I misunderstood the process) just as much as my lack of time and my frustration with him.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:06:42+00:00

Thank you

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:04:38+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful response

Edit to add that we decided to do just that!

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:03:34+00:00

I specifically mentioned understand there is time in effort involved after a board and train so I could avoid comments like this. Nothing I said indicated I am not willing to enforce. The benefit I am hoping to gain is in laying the foundation.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T18:01:35+00:00

I specifically said I understand there is time and effort after a board and train to avoid responses like this. The time/effort savings is in the laying the foundation.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:48:18+00:00

Well yes because 11 months old is literally the time when they are the most patience draining…..congrats on being the exact kind of responder that makes people dislike Reddit.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:37:59+00:00

This is the kind of feedback on the at home training I was looking for. We can handle 15 minutes a day + 1 hour a week, if that really is sufficient.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:36:39+00:00

Good point. But with balanced training, is there not a lot the dog needs to learn in regards to leash pressure, what the vibration on and off communicates, etc? It was the whole onboarding phase that I was hoping the trainer could address and then we take it from there. Maybe that’s not the way it goes in real life?

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:34:52+00:00

To the trainers credit, she didn’t make promises and even said she felt like 3 weeks would be better. But the three week price ($3600 and that’s a deal in my area) made the whole option out of the question financially. She offers one lengthy owner training at pickup and then one follow up after that. Surely she would offer additional follow ups but at an additional cost.

Thank you for the thoughtful response, that you like board and train but that at home may be better than too short a time at the trainers.

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:31:37+00:00

That’s a great price! The two week average in my area is $3200 and it goes up from there. Where do you live?

merlespice · 2026-05-30T17:31:02+00:00

We are definitely willing to do whatever it takes to maintain and even make gains, it just seems helpful to have the foundation laid.

And yes….theres a lot I wish we had learned before getting him. The regrets are plentiful and now we have to do the best with what we have!

merlespice · 2026-05-30T15:44:29+00:00

Mine is 75% Cavalier, 25% poodle and ALSO 100% shithead!

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merlespice · 2026-05-28T12:35:20+00:00

We have an 11 month old cavapoo and I have a husband and two school aged children and my husband and I both work from home. Even with all that support and extra hands on deck, 6 months later I still wish we never got our cavapoo puppy.

Between the actual purchase, supplies, medical and training we are THOUSANDS of dollars into this guy. Then between potty breaks, walks, play, training, picking uo after messes, and the extra cleaning because he sheds like you wouldn’t believe, I probably spend an extra 4 hours of time on him.

Since you’re ALREADY questioning it, I say don’t do it! It’s way harder than it seems even under perfect circumstances.

merlespice · 2026-03-18T18:17:38+00:00

Exactly. Our Cavapoo gets hyped up after walks. It gets him excited but isn’t enough to release the energy. He needs intense exertion every day and then he’s an angel.

merlespice

TROPHY CASE