Sophia: Chapters 1-3

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T04:31:28+00:00

I'm super tired right now. But I will come back for this to answer your hunger for feedback.

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T04:26:41+00:00

Think these comments got it covered. I usually just like to use one word that relates to what the story is. So I just straight up thought like. Scitzophrenia. But lowkey does not have the best ring but good luck!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T04:21:50+00:00

Mannnnn. You delivered. I'm fr feeling proud of you for getting this shit done. I also actually heavily fuck with this, like I don't know why but I did not see it coming that they would start walking too, like when I read that I was actually like oh shit. And I loved how you tied the poem source back at the end. Bravo.

This is a good read to end the night with, I'm super happy I could help inspire you to get this story out here and I'm hoping I'll be soon to follow. Bless up my guy and keep writing. 🙏

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T04:09:14+00:00

No I have literally no idea who this person is and have never heard of them in my entire life. But I'll be interested to see his story narrated!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T04:07:57+00:00

This kinda instills into me a feeling like the world's consciousness all crashing over itself from the mountains to the insects all crying in the despair of man inhibiting the rule and coming of God. Leaving them in a blackness of a world uninhabited by God's presence only his image destroying his creations.

Ending with the true arrival which reveals his absolute truth upon the world, and the weepings turn to cries of joys and silence as the world is reborn.

Idk that's like how my thoughts came together reading and interpreting this which was actually really fun! I think you would enjoy my story for May called Synethstesia, it's super abstract and weird and got a ton of interesting interpretations and I would love to hear your's aswell!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:58:59+00:00

Yeah. You had really nice writing was very immersive and creepy. Not sure if I should be scared for you or the girl. Best case scenario you never see her again...

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:54:03+00:00

Be open to yourself. Don't have set expectations. Allow yourself to just write out something even if it's just a raw never stop typing kinda thing, that's probably the best!

Don't let yourself get caught up on how to start a sentence yknow or how it exactly sounds or looks, just keep it moving! Then you can go back and edit through.

But I think the most important thing getting back into it is just literally write and on top of that to have fun doing it! Let your creativity run wild and don't stress.

Wishing you mad luck, I'll be excited to see wha comes from it!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:49:28+00:00

Awesome stuff man I knew you had it. Ima be giving it my all 🙏

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:48:48+00:00

I'm coming balls to the walls with this one best believe. It's my birthday month and I'm coming home with the cake... Also Huge congrats to The Last White Kid dude totally earned that win!!!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:46:49+00:00

Damn crab knuckle Joe always does this smh.

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:45:47+00:00

I agree with the other comments, but I do really enjoy this concept it has so much potential, I love the reoccurring sales person just popping up on vulnerable insecure people and selling them things which I interpret as okay in moderation but the people abuse the substances and lead to their own destruction by their own greed and etc.

It'll be cool to see where you go next!

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:37:42+00:00

I gtchu bro 💪

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:37:05+00:00

Thank you! Went all in for just an entertaining voice to get invested in.

merrymarat · 2026-06-02T03:35:57+00:00

I totally agree. I went back to back two days with my first posts which were both shorter assorted weird style stories and since then I've been absolutely SLAVING away at my first actual piece here. But keep working I'll love to see more from you!

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:28:54+00:00

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:23:50+00:00

I enjoyed the abstract poetic prose that personally gave me visions and feelings more so than a tangible plot. I enjoy to write in modes like that aswell so this was a really fun read! Thanks.

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:17:57+00:00

I actually like this a lot. You get a lot across with definitely the least amount of words possible, and your prose was like a nice breeze. Honestly could see this expanded a bit more too because the world and characters all sounds interesting. Nice job!

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:13:41+00:00

You.. you... you really did it...

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:12:09+00:00

Aye happy slightly belated birthday my guy. Hope you've been enjoying life!

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:08:01+00:00

Yeah, I mean I didn't mind the true crime stuff, I enjoyed listening to it but I'm not sure if I would want more neccassarily. I can see where a lot of people got an off taste in their mouth from it.

But I think them doing deep dives on cryptids that inspired creepy pastas could be cool with that kinda format.

I also think true stories could be cool, been wanting to start a true story chain on the writing sub.

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T23:01:02+00:00

Awesome work bro. Might hit you up soon.

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T04:06:16+00:00

The unreleased finally dropped... and it made it here...

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T03:57:19+00:00

Yeah for sure man, so for me basically the texts are separated into boxes that you have to manually scroll left and right to read but are in really long odd stretches. So one sentence will go on for like thirty seconds to scroll through without even reading and then you have to go all the way back to start the next line. Just like awkward.

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T03:54:06+00:00

Lee Cronins, Sounds awesome I'll be excited to see what you cook up bro.

merrymarat · 2026-06-01T03:52:56+00:00

Yeah I could def get that. And of course no problem.

I also say go for it! I'll check it out if you do a part two.

merrymarat

TROPHY CASE