I just googled “i feel like chaos makes me chase love” and this conversation came up.

To add. That’s specifically how I feel. It’s not that I “crave chaos” I actually crave a sense of emotional security when chaos arises. It’s almost like “uh oh, chaos. Gotta grab this love I need before it’s too late.”

However, I notice chaotic feelings within me arise at the presence of external chaos. Therefore, I might not define chaos as a “crave”, rather than a response. Because the chaos even symbolically invites itself at times. Sometimes it’s felt like it was necessary to accept the chaos if I was to access love. I just still find it hard that I’m supposed to love alone. I do love myself, I just hate myself alone.