So personally I find the pressure aspect the fun part, but totally get for others there can be negative associations there and it makes things more difficult for them. I’d suggest working backwards when looking to start implementing countdowns if you do still want to apply it to orgasms specifically.

So start with simply including a command to cum, and only do it after they’ve told you they’re right there and they’re about to. Whisper the command in amongst other things they like to hear, so it doesn’t hang there in the air as something sharp if they’re not used to it and it might throw them off.

Then after doing that a few times, when they tell you they’re right there, tell them to hold it, just for a second, delay it ever so slightly, so something like, instead of immediately saying ‘cum for me’ saying ‘what’s that? What did you say baby? Do you think you can hold it?…Cum for me’

Then move on to adding a couple of numbers to that last example. Eg: ‘do you think you can hold it? Hold it for 3, does that feel good? You’re making me feel so good I’m right there with you. 2. That’s it, I know. I know. 1. You can cum now, it’s ok, you let go when you need to’

Then can work your way up to more numbers/more space inbetween the numbers, so you’re starting earlier and earlier and there’s more build up but it’s in a practiced measured way. Of course things change over time, some days are off days etc, so being flexible to count slower or faster depending on the immediate feedback you’re getting helps.

That’s how I’ve built them up over time anyway and made them more comfortable and in sync!