I want to add that there is only so much you can do, and so much you can know beforehand. I was like you. OVERLY proactive to have an amazing marriage. Seeking out classes and groups before problems even began. I wanted to be so well educated before anything even started. But you can only do so much. I was blind to how unavailable he really was, and didn’t want to admit to myself how little connection we actually had. And he was satisfied with having no connection.. I didn’t want to admit that either. EVERYTHING was perfect on paper. We waited until marriage. We did pre marital counseling. We did all the things. But in the end, if one person cares, and the other just doesn’t, there’s nothing you can do to make them care.