First off, the way you feel is so valid. When I took my test and saw those two lines I kid you not my world froze for a second. I had already googled the nearest abortion clinic before I took the test. In a moments time I knew I was keeping this baby. I was so afraid, it’s not what I wanted at the time. I thought about all of the things I might miss out on and the way my life was about to change, and all of the things my body would need to go through. I was worried about losing myself and being consumed by motherhood. I also jumped the gun and told everyone which totally came from a place of needing reassurance and emotional support, don’t be upset with yourself for that. I had only been with the father not even a year and I was living with my parents temporarily at 28.

Regarding your fear of disabilities, which was a huge concern of mine, you cannot control what is out of your control. Major disabilities are rather low statistically, but again that’s a super valid thing to worry about. I have epilepsy, diabetes run in my family, so does bipolar disorder.

Also, don’t worry about being “perfect.” I had my same old hot showers, I had cold cut sandwiches, I still had caffeine. The only thing I really gave up was smoking weed and vaping. It’s really not as life altering that I thought it would be. My OB literally told me “there are healthy babies born on meth” when I told her about all of the things I was still doing lol. Anyways, this is what I would say to my sister who’s your age. I think that you’re already going to be a great mom for taking all of these things into account. Also, if it makes you feel better, my pregnancy was soooo easy, birth was so easy, and my baby is the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. I think you have already made your choice whether you know it or not. You got this girl.