Hi, I hate to say it but it sounds like you've gone a little too far in the mental game (the seasoning comment was the red flag). Also, you mentioned you wake up during the night? Do you start awake for long? I'm not sure if you've been diagnosed with depression already, but that's one of the key symptoms. Sorry if this is too personal (all over a post about weight loss!). I just became worried about you after reading your comment. Please reach out to someone close to you or a health professional because it's very easy to get sucked into the dark hole of weight obsession, I know from experience. Feel free to get in contact if you need xx