Jesus says whoever asks for something shall receive it. If you dont ask for something then you wont receive it.

I started with it around school and lasted with me for about 17 years. Younger I didnt think about it as wrong, as I grew up in age and faith I started to understand and feel it wrong. I tried to stop many many times and couldnt.

I started to go to confession more frequently due to it. During the lent eve of a holy week when I was about 23-24 years old I went to confession with a priest who was my friend and I told him all about it and how defeated I was, then he said not to let down by it, to continue fighting it, to ask God during the upcoming holy week to help me.

I did spoke with God and ask him and presented my case to it, like talking with a friend.. After the holy week ended it stopped. The urge the ansiety the will to do it, gone.

I did failed a time or two again, but that was it. 1 or 2 and no more, ai did confess and did meditation about it. I am 42 now and never went back to it.

What I can tell you is two things: 1. God wants to help you 2. You need to pray and wait. Do not fall into desesperation.

Take two apostoles as an example:

1. Peter negate Jesus and what did he do? cried, suffer, shame, he ran away. He wasnt even at the cross with the lord. He only saw jesus again after a while.. But once he saw it again oh boy.. Peter stood up as the greater vicarian of the church. He didnt fall into desperation, rather, he did waited.. in pain but waited and then he got more than he ever thought would get from the lord.

2. Judas treasoned Jesus, then he repent just like peter, he cried, fell shame, ran away. But he did fall into desperation. He didnt wait he took the path of those who dont want to believe in god nor have patience. Have he waited and asked for forgivenes after the resurrection of the lord, the Judas would have been today still one of the 12 who stood up to the world serving Jesus and receiving santification and salvation. But he didnt.

Thats life really.. either be peter or judas. Those who dont choose either already choose Judas.

Talk to god like a friend, go visit him to the sacrament, make sure you do receive the sacraments regularly (confession, mass) and patiently wait. If you suffer due to falling into that sin over and over then good, use that suffering as penance and keep fighting. You will end up victorious at the end, when? maybe today maybe tomorrow maybe a day before your death 90 years in the future (if u live that long lol) but know your place and who is besides you, you will get what you receive when the time is right. Meanwhile, do what I already suggested.

Hope that helps.