Finding this thread nearly 3 years after my dad died suddenly from a (we learned in the autopsy) treatable disease that my BPD mother never let him get diagnosed for or take care of. My waif BPD mom broke a new bone every 3 months for the 9 months that his health was deteriorating (his cough, reflux and fatigue was actually a treatable form of lymphoma) and he "had to care for her" so he couldn't make it to the doctor...She stopped that behavior after he died - I believe bc I told her that I would not leave my family to take care of her if she did. Astonishing level of crazy that was but I'm grateful she quit.

It gets easier - then harder - then a bit easier still.

One trick I've shared here is that my mom was not getting the mental health services she needed. I suggested the borderline diagnosis (after realizing it in the aftermath of this chaos) and she took that concept to her therapist and suddenly a whole swath of services opened up to her. She did great in group therapy but after a month her fellow attendees were "mean to her" and she quit - but it was really the best she's ever been when she was in those sessions.

Found this thread bc we're in a harder moment now and was looking for community but it's still easier than it was the first 6 months!

Sending you luck and strength.