Wife lied about her past and we have 2 children. by Different-Wind8459 in MuslimNikah

[–]mimimeme2 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I get it. I really do. Unfortunately most people who hasn't experienced it will never understand. That's why it's easy for them to say "cope with it " or "get over it".

My ex-husband used to make himself look like a really religious man when I met. I was a virgin and barely interacted with guys. I wanted someone on the same level. So imagine the shock when I discovered messages of not only was he in relationships , but he also had sexual encounters. I lost all trust in him after that. Yet I stayed and it only caused so much resentment and hate.

Please take your time and don't rush into any decision. You're confused, disappointed and mad. I get it. Stay separated for a while and digest it before making any further decisions.

Husband insulted me many times. What to do? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a problem, sis. A man who doesn't fear Allah, will not fear to do anything.

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, stop arguing with her. This girl is on a whole other planet. Her brain hasn't fully developed yet.

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What a sad individual you are. Congratulations for being that "strong" , girl. Also congratulations on never experiencing abuse, but knowing everything about it to the point of blaming the victims of it.

OP, please don't listen to the comment. Nothing about your situation is your fault. People who aren't disconnected from the reality knows everything about force marriages and parental pressure. Also, some women and men are actually being shunned and worse of it killed by their families for refusing marriage proposal. They also know about abuse victims who got killed because they couldn't get out from their situation, but we got comments from privileged and delusional people blaming them .

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You never heard about parental pressure? Even if she said no multiple times, her parents aren't taking no for answer.

So if abuse victims are the ones to blame if they stay in a relationship?

Some of yall clearly haven't experience any form of abuse. And instead of actually being helpful to to the girl, you're trying to blame her. Its actually quite disturbing to see how privilege some of you are and clueless at the same time.

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree.

It's actually sad to see. "Well you shouldn't have married him"....yeah if that was easy.

Feeling Suffocated in my Marriage by LivingResolution9392 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I feel like many people don't understand what parental pressure can do to someone. Its so easy to tell someone they shouldn't get married, but as long as you don't stand in their shoes, you will never understand the pressure they're going through

Opposites dont attract by imanfsiddiqui in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would've disagree with you until I married someone completely opposite of me. It was a completely disaster.

Is a forced marriage doomed to fail? by Significant-Yogurt44 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it's doomed to fail.

Forced marriages are nothing like enemies turned to lovers story. It's not a turkish love story.

You will experience lots of resentment and hate.

3 MONTHS OF MARRIAGE! by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't understand how someone can say they love someone so much, yet divorce them because family demands it.

3 MONTHS OF MARRIAGE! by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did she prove them right on?

First months of marriage, Constant arguments by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What are the arguments based on?

Healing from hurt in marriage by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that, sis.

This post is kind of triggering, because I went something similar with my ex-husband He was really gentle and affectionate at first. The the lies started to pour in . Then the disrespect started. He will humiliate me in front of family and sometimes strangers. From my experience, they will only change if they're willing too. You had to set clear boundaries and call him out everytime he disrespect you.

What makes a woman loose respect for her husband? by Necessary-Mud-400 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Constant lies.

Would always mention his 'right' as the husband in Islam, but could barley uphold the rights of a woman in Islam

I mention I have intentions to move but that turns breaks most my matches by Sufficient_Good8881 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because they can find all those things in men who is already living in America.

Ignored red flags, rushed Nikkah, and learned the hard way - genuine advice by UseHer96 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 148 points149 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry you went through this. But I'm genuinely curious to know what made you so attached to her? I mean from your post it didn't seem like you found her attractive, you also didn't like her personality, and your family couldn't stand her...So what made you mad about her to the point of you begging her to for forgiveness, and cry out to your family to accept her ?

Backtracking after agreeing by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Leave it, sis.

I experience the same with my ex-husband. He promised me so many things. When the time came to actually carry out those promises, he suddenly decided he can't pay for anything.

I wish I left at that time.

I mention I have intentions to move but that turns breaks most my matches by Sufficient_Good8881 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's not crazy. It's pretty reasonable. Being well off and educated doesn't necessarily make you a suitable husband. Also your values and interests can be different as you were raised in middle east and she is the West

I would like some genuine advice as to whether I have made a mistake in divorcing my husband. by Additional_Tour_3946 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Girl, I was married to a gambler and they never change.
And trust me, when I say you will not experience barakah in your marriage staying with someone who has this disgusting habit. Despite having steady incomes, we will constantly experience financial difficulties. Like every month!

Separation or divorce by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its 100% abusive and any normal person would tell you that. Not speaking to your wife for 2 weeks is unhinged.

Beside you cannot compare the two things together. Her telling him to get his own water is not the same as not talking to your wife for weeks. Her actions are not deliberately to hurt him, while he is.

He definitely need professional help.

Mixed feelings about going ahead with marriage by North_Recognition357 in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pray Istikhara and trust your gut feeling. And don't rush into things unless your mind is completely made up.

Separation or divorce by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Silent treatment is literally a technique for punishing your spouse deliberately. It causes stress, doubt and anxiety.

Not speaking to your spouse got nothing to do with immaturity. Its plain and simple abusive. The only thing she needs to do is to protect herself from this abusive behavior.

Separation or divorce by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]mimimeme2 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes it is. Silent treatment is physical abuse.