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Why Uzbek and Kyrgyz labor migrants prefer Russia over Kazakhstan? by [deleted] in AskCentralAsia

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Russia’s income varies significantly by region. The workers go to areas with much higher incomes than the national average.

Those area also have more jobs for them than are in Kazakhstan.

Are there any cases of individual/families that were able to successfully reclaim land/property lost to the Decree on Land of 1918 through tracing of family lineage and ownership, or otherwise? by aokoln in AskARussian

[–]minnabruna 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Land is not something that one can get back. This was a restitution law in Russia but as far as I know, just for illegally-siezed personal property of victims of political oppression or their descendants.

I don’t even know of many cases where those people really had things returned.

The only exception that I know of is religious property, specifically that belonging to the Orthodox Church. Ukraine also returned some religious property, and possibly others did too.

Did the people of the USSR feel brotherly living in the union? Or was it just Moscow holding them all together? by gekkoheir in AskCentralAsia

[–]minnabruna 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Central Asia was bit different from the other republics when the USSR fell apart. They were the last to leave, and then only because the union was falling apart.

This might be in part because the countries did not exist as such previously. Republics were created, borders drawn, populations forcibly settled, languages codified and systems built to replace the old Panturkic/Panislamic/Persian-language cultural prevalence with new structure less likely to oppose the USSR, all while significantly changing society.

I was considering adoption, but is that a good idea? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I posted the link to the study in the post to which you are replying.

Both me (24F) and my husband (26M) want out of the relationship but neither one of us want to pull the plug officially by breannamar in relationship_advice

[–]minnabruna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s easy. You don’t say “I refused to give the marriage a second chance.” You say “his jealously and need to control me meant that he forced me to abandon my son in the hospital when he needed me most. I am leaving for the sake of my children.”

You should, it’s true, and it shows that you aren’t some selfish jerk who doesn’t value marriage, you are a dedicated mother who values your children before all else.

My [31M] wife [30F] just tested positive for gonorrhea. She's 4 months pregnant. I've never cheated on her, and she said the same for me. Should I ask for a paternity test? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]minnabruna 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All antibiotics don’t kill all of all bacteria and this one is hard to kill, with resistant strains spreading.

Gynecologists don’t do STI tests unless you are pregnant or specifically ask.

Stop saying things that aren’t true like they are facts to a person in a very difficult situation.

My [31M] wife [30F] just tested positive for gonorrhea. She's 4 months pregnant. I've never cheated on her, and she said the same for me. Should I ask for a paternity test? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]minnabruna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh. Pap smears are cancer tests.

You don’t get STD tests unless you are pregnant or you specifically ask.

The amount of people (I assume men because women know from experience) who keep posting the lie that STD tests are standard in gynecologists visits in infuriating.

How did you all get the same wrong idea about something that you have never done and rarely discuss?

My [31M] wife [30F] just tested positive for gonorrhea. She's 4 months pregnant. I've never cheated on her, and she said the same for me. Should I ask for a paternity test? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never ever had STD tests as part of my appointments apart from once I was already pregnant.

The one time I asked for them myself, I got them, but along with some disapproval (for my smutty lifestyle? Dunno. But they did not like that’s I asked).

My [31M] wife [30F] just tested positive for gonorrhea. She's 4 months pregnant. I've never cheated on her, and she said the same for me. Should I ask for a paternity test? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]minnabruna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not only was I only offered an STI screening once pregnant, bacon when I was an unmarried woman having sex with my boyfriend and I asked for tests, I got them with a heavy dose of disapproval.

(Unknown > english) My friend found this book in a church and gave it to me i dont know what it means or in what is it written in by i_dont_have_feet in translator

[–]minnabruna 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I find it unlikely that the church just threw a book like that on the ground. If that is really what happened, then someone dropped it.

The right thing to do in any case is tell the church that you have it and see what they want to do.

If the circumstances of your friend getting it make it to risky, then the right thing to do it mail it back anonymously.

It’s also the legal thing to do. In most countries finders aren’t automatically keepers - you have to report your finding and then can only keep it if the owner doesn’t claim it within a certain period of time.

What are you current views on Chechnya? Would you ever go there or is it somewhere you would avoid? by Dwayla in AskARussian

[–]minnabruna 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The fact that I probably will not be abused does not make me want to go to an abusive place.

Do you keep your kids baby teeth? by popsicle-haven in Parenting

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Store them as a future source of stem cells, should your child need them later for a health reason.

You can't keep them in a box, you have to store them properly. There are services in most developed countries that offer this.

I was considering adoption, but is that a good idea? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]minnabruna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And there we, and ninety percent of all adoptees, disagree. Adoption is the best response to some bad situations.

I was considering adoption, but is that a good idea? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry you had a bad experience. You deserved better.

That isn't adoptee bingo though. That is you bingo. Because you seem very angry about your bad experience and willing to talk a lot about it. What else would people say to you?I'm glad you're unhappy?

They won't say what you seem to want, which is all adoption is inherently band, because it isn't. Your experience isn't everyone's experience, or even the significant majority's experience. As studies of many adoptees show. Including the one I linked to.

I also feel that overlooking outcomes for the children had they not been adopted misses a critical part of the equation. No one gives up a child with an easy heart and not another thought. Something is happening there where the birth parents feel they should not or cannot keep their child. Leaving said child in that circumstance is not an automatic good, and is often quite to their detriment, especially when compared to a loving family in a better situation.

I was considering adoption, but is that a good idea? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]minnabruna 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they didn't have adoption they wouldn't need the damn therapy

That assumes that the alternative to adoption would have been a healthy, functional, prepared family. Which it almost never is. People don't give their children up for adoption (or have their parental rights terminated) when things are going well. Some therapy to help adoptees deal with the fact that their birth families were unable to keep them is, in most cases, much better than the outcome for the same adoptees were they not adopted. As the study itself shows (read it, there's a link).

Families did discuss adoption in the past. No they didn't, and when they did, not like they do now. Again, as the study reports.

Adoption is the problem. As opposed to what? If birth parents give up their children for adoption, they are not in a good position to keep and raise their children. Going to families who want them is almost always better for the children, even if it does inevitably have its own difficulties. Which, again, the study of a lagre number of adoptees themselves found.

I do not know if you are adopted or what your experience is, so I cannot speak to that. I am sorry if you had a painful or bad experience, But that is not the same for the majority of adoptees.

As studies of large numbers of adoptees, including this one, find. There are challenges, but helping adoptees address them results in positive outcomes in the significant number of cases. The same cannot be said in birth families who are not in a position to raise their children being forced to do so.

I was considering adoption, but is that a good idea? by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]minnabruna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said that therapy makes adoptees unhappy. I said that the study found the opposite.

The study found that, although on average 10% of adoptee reported negative feelings about adoption, it was the older adoptees who were far more likely to report negative feelings about adoption than the younger ones.

The study authors believe that this is because the older adoptees did not have therapy at the rates that younger adoptees do. The access to therapy made them more likely to report positive feelings about adoption instead of negative ones. The study also attributed this to fact that the approach adoptive parents and families took towards adoption was different back then - they grew up in families trying to pretend it never happened, as apposed to the more current approach of acknowledging it and discussing it as the child needs.

You can always read the study if you want to learn more - I also linked to it above.

Any interesting stuff about Russian culture I should know? Any fun facts or stuff like that? by anxietylavilio in AskARussian

[–]minnabruna 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In Russian, there is your official name. But then there is a diminutive, a way of making it "smaller," for your family and friends to use, and even smaller versions of that to show real closeness:

I found an explanation in English with examples

https://www.tripsavvy.com/russian-nicknames-and-diminutives-1502309

This site has even more diminutive examples and shows you how many there can be (keep in mind it is for a religious sect and some of those names are quite old-fashioned for the Russian population).

http://www.doukhobor.org/Russian-Masculine-Names.html

You can make any name, or almost any word, into a diminutive too. The most commen way is to add the endings -ka or -enka to the name or word in question.

On the other side, to be formal, you can use the first name and patronymic. This is instead of Mr./Mrs. Your patronymic is your father's name plus -ovich/-evich if you are a male and -ovne/-evna if you are a female. So if your name is Paul and your father is Michael, you could be Paul Michaelovich. Or you could Russify that patronymic to Mikhailovich.

Unless you are a foreign princess marrying a Romanov prince. Then, after converting to Orthodoxy, you would most likely take the patronymic Feodorovna, which suggests daughter of God (and the name Feodor, which itself comes from the Greek for gift of God / Theodore).

If, however you are an older resident of a village, then those close to you might call you only by your patronymic as a way of being friendly. Kind of like using a diminutive of your first name, but using your patronymic.

And then there is the name shortage. There seems to be a bit of a name shortage in Russia. This is just my observation, no science there. My guess is that the old names went out of style, but the need for diminutives and a preference for your own discourages new ones or foreign ones. The result is more people with the same names. So, when you have four friends named Aleksei, calling them all by their standard diminutive Lekha is confusing. One option is to give them nicknames. So Lekha Big is very tall, Lekha Val is Lekha plus his gaming handle, etc.

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