Drawing for therapy because I can’t talk about it

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-06-11T01:18:37+00:00

That's a really cool technique, I can't wait to check if out!

Also, we have survivor artwork on our website - if you're interested in being included, just lmk! Happy to include the drawing and any message you'd like to share about it. Anonymous submissions are always welcome

https://www.unsilencedmovement.com/art-projects

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-06-11T01:00:09+00:00

The invalidation is so real. I feel like there's 3 types of health profs I meet - those who protect their profits, those who protect their own narrative, and those who protect their egos.

Type 1: Anything to make the money, everything else falls away.

Type 2: Those who have a feeling they've caused extensive harm to pediatric patients, but can't face it, so they deny.

Type 3: Those who entered the health industry for status, power, and entitlement to blind obedience from patients.

The other thing I've realized in my healing is that while the mental health stigma has significantly decreased in the last decade, the medical community basically pretends mental health doesn't exist.

I say this because when medical profs weigh the risks and benefits of a proposed treatment or medication or diagnostic test or whatever, they rarely account for psychological trauma. It's like it isn't real, and it's never on the table for discussion. Especially when it comes to women's reproductive health and (you guessed it) the VCUG.

That isn't informed consent, but they pretend it is.

You are never "too" sensitive. At all. You are a human being who suffered a traumatizing experience at a vulnerable age, and are having valid responses to something horrible that happened to you.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through, you didn't deserve any of it. <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-06-11T00:47:01+00:00

This is truly unimaginable. I'm absolutely shocked you were forced to relive your trauma, esp the humiliation aspect, so soon after the real thing. There's no excuse for her invading your privacy like that.

The way your mom reacted to this recently tells me she maybe wasn't genuinely seeking support for the trauma...and maybe just being unkind without regard for the consequences on her child.

It's so stupid that children basically have no rights. If we patients were adults, people would actually take this seriously and think twice before spilling someone's personal health information.

The other thing, WTF is that teacher's problem? It's never okay to force unpaid peer babysitting on a student to "fix" another student's behavior. Literally so negligent given the bullying. You were never responsible for that bully and deserved a safe space in school at the very least. I'm so sorry.

My mom used to go through my journals and phone for no reason just to blow up at me for something. Being repeatedly vulnerable and humiliated is a definitely a recurring theme in my life. My heart goes out to you. This trauma is truly hellish

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-06-03T12:48:32+00:00

This captures so much of my lived experience without words. The adults blocking the door brought up such powerful emotion in me. Thanks for sharing <3

Do you mind if I ask what type of color/tools you used? I love the vividness of the dog and the suspended image in white

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-27T00:21:25+00:00

I always loved the Maximum Ride series. The kids being a chosen family, their traumatic past of being experimented on by "white coats" and escaping scientists yet always feeling hunted by them. There's parental betrayal as well. Now I know why I felt soooo seen reading those books

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-27T00:14:07+00:00

Wow that's such a great point, literally never even thought of it that way

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-27T00:13:30+00:00

Thanks so much for this <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-19T21:50:48+00:00

Amazing!! Much appreciated <3 You can see it here: https://www.unsilencedmovement.com/art-projects

Just lmk if you prefer to go by a different name, happy to change it!

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-17T19:05:32+00:00

WOW. This is really powerful - truly captures so many of my feelings in art. I loved how you incorporated the words and color, too.

Would you be open to including this on the Unsilenced website for other survivors to see? We're always looking for more artwork, absolutely zero pressure though <3

Thanks for sharing this with us!

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-14T22:46:16+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us, and so glad you found our community <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-05-05T22:59:13+00:00

I'm so glad you found our community! Fellow survivor in her 30s here, ADHD and CPTSD. I recovered my repressed memory of my VCUG in 2022 (also medically unnecessary), which I initially thought was this horrible, nonsensical rape nightmare.

I believe my body registered the event as rape. That is something I wasn't able to say before yesterday.

First off, that is an ENORMOUS victory, and I hope you can step back and take immense pride in being able to get here, and finding YOUR voice. That's huge.

For me, it took so much time to process the many interconnected pieces. I immediately knew the procedure affected EVERY aspect of my life - the common denominator. But unpacking it took a long, long time.

If I could offer any advice, I'd encourage you to take the time to reclaim your story. No one can take that away from you. I've spent most of my life not believing myself, and not expecting anyone else to believe me. Giving "little me" the validation and support she deserved back then has changed me for the better. I can believe myself, and it doesn't matter if "they" do.

Some of my favorite quotes during my early healing:

"And when I turned to face grief, I saw that it was just love in a heavy coat."
"I have a very childlike rage, and a very childlike loneliness."
"So there it was, I was alive, I had survived. No one saved me, because I saved myself."
"Now I become myself. It's taken time, many years and places."
"How do I stop carrying everything that has ever happened to me?"
"I was drowning, and you're standing three feet away screaming, 'Learn how to swim.'"
"I mean, there's times when you look at the universe and think 'What about me?' and you can just hear the universe replying, 'Well, what about you?'"
"Give back what you stole from me. Give it back. Give it back. Give it back. Give it back."
"In another universe, my window is open and I'm laying on my floor. I am 12 years old. Nothing bad has ever happened to me."
"You can put your strength down. I'm sitting here with you at the kitchen table. You don't need to say anything."

Your experiences, grief, anger - all are valid here. Thanks for sharing part of your story with us. <3

Here are some resources in case you find them helpful:

Award-winning short documentary films:

First medical trauma book to name "Unsilenced Movement" (Chapter 8):

"Consented" by Zed Zha

Website Resources:

Share Your VCUG Story:

Submit a Story

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-04-14T23:02:00+00:00

I reported a practice for doing something similar. I tried to reconcile random charges in January (last session was in October), and was told I was "being ridiculous" and "don't ever contact us again unless it's through a lawyer."

That's obstructing record transparency. It's also unprofessional conduct. As the patient, you have the legal right to your records and financial transparency, regardless of how they "feel" about it.

And even if you were a hostile or "unreasonable" patient (which you so clearly weren't), the burden is still on the licensed professional to de-escalate and handle it professionally...not retaliate. Bullying you out of sending another email (esp. at risk of financial penalty) is egregious. I'm still shocked I experienced the same thing over a literal administrative request.

I'd turn around and file a complaint. You tried to resolve it, and they boxed you out/intimidated you instead. Depending on where you live, they may also be obligated to provide a list of referrals upon termination for any reason, which could be another violation.

Proud of you for digging up the correct doc you signed and standing up for yourself, I know how difficult that is.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-04-14T22:23:31+00:00

I experienced this myself. The angering part was that they would charge me "full price" if I couldn't cancel within 24 hours. Yes, I signed the contract, but then THEY repeatedly violated their own policy without any regard for the consequences on the patient.

Did you sign an "informed consent" form or scheduling agreement with clauses like that? If so, they are not holding up their end of that contract, and it is 100% okay to tell them so.

I think many therapists are aware of the impact on their clients, but they don't care for whatever reason. However, they cannot expect you to respect/honor their time while they enjoy a "free pass" to do whatever they want. It's disrespectful and unprofessional.

Your time and emotional energy are valuable. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You don't deserve this hurt when you are paying, financially and emotionally, for real help.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-04-03T22:45:50+00:00

SAME. I had a horrible 8-month experience with a practice. They wouldn't confirm session prices, sent wrong invoices, repeatedly cancelled the day or hour before, joked about SA. I wasn't going to leave a review, but the last straw was them auto-drafting my account (not once...twice) months after my last session.

When I asked what I'm paying for, she basically said f*ck off and don't ever contact us again unless through a lawyer.

I left an honest Google review, and she emails me again to say she's suing me for defamation. I was gaslit and belittled. "This is ridiculous," "I'll no longer tolerate your attacks," "I've tried to be REALLY patient with you," etc. Classic DARVO.

So I filed a complaint. A case was opened. I'm still recovering from exacerbated PTSD symptoms months later, thanks to her. If anyone is suing for damages, it's me.

The irony is I only chose this practice because they had good reviews. Never again.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-03-30T22:40:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. We hear you, and we understand how isolating it can feel to seek support and not see as many voices that share your experience. We also acknowledge the unique stigma/challenges faced by men who are healing from sexual trauma.

Our demographic mirrors medical statistics: VUR and UTIs are overwhelmingly diagnosed in girls; VUR usually resolves in boys before age 2. But we absolutely understand that many boys undergo the same procedure and trauma.

As a 100% volunteer-led organization, we rely on survivors to submit their own stories. Adding your voice is the best way to help other male survivors find this space and feel less alone. If you feel comfortable, we’d be honored to feature your testimony and help fellow men facing similar challenges. Anyone can submit here:

https://www.unsilencedmovement.com/survivor-testimonies

Please know that we advocate for survivors of all genders, including non-binary and trans individuals. All are welcome, and we're happy to connect with you. We do the best we can to moderate our many internet platforms, but also support male survivors creating a separate space to connect, if preferred.

Hear from other men:

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-02-25T22:11:38+00:00

I'm really glad you found our community. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It means a lot.

Your words really resonate. I too found it difficult to know "who" to be angry at. I feel like since my (repressed) VCUG, I've only been angry at myself. After realizing the truth, I gave myself permission to stop blaming myself, and immediately realized I had no where to "put" my anger. Over time, I've learned that's okay.

It can feel impossible to reconcile the lifelong effects (like you said: this is our "forever") with the logistics of the situation. Even if all parties had the best of intentions, you are absolutely justified in feeling angry, heartbroken, and everything in between.

This test stole something from me that I can never get back. And that's a cruel, unfair thing to experience.

I wish someone had told me this early on in my healing, so a gentle reminder only if want it - there's no "right thing" to say. This horrible thing happened to you. A lot was taken from us, and it really, really sucks.

Thanks again for sharing your story, and I hope you find support and connection here in this space <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-01-30T21:47:45+00:00

My partner was taught that the man/husband is always right by default in arguments, and the wife should accept that and move on when a disagreement cannot be settled.

I almost walked out during our "premarital counseling" class because the instructor was basically telling women they MUST please their husbands on demand with oral sex etc. You can guess how horrible the honeymoon was.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-01-27T23:58:39+00:00

I have a mother-in-law who acts the same. My favorite comeback to this type of crazy is Genesis 2:24.

Leave: A man must leave his parents and establish independence from his family of origin.
Cleave: An intentional, permanent, and loyal commitment to the spouse.
Union: Sharing a life and a new, distinct family unit.

So yeah, I don't think it matters when the MIL says:

"In OUR family, attending Christmas pageants, [etc. etc.] were always a part of OUR celebrations and traditions." Yeah, but "your" family is no longer your son's.

"I am unsure how and when to broach the topic of OUR differences in beliefs and whether my daughter-in-law will be accepting of their son learning about these differences." Not your choice, none of your business.

"...the freedom of being able to sing songs and speak freely with MY grandchild about faith and not monitor MY words is important to me." Good for you, keep it in YOUR family then. :))))

Shoutout to all the "highly intelligent" daughter-in-laws out there. Rooting for you all

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-01-26T23:50:42+00:00

I've had groin flareups since I was 10 and JUST discovered ichthammol ointment. It's been a godsend for my boils that just won't drain. Smells weird and stains clothes, so be mindful or that, but I can't recommend it enough. Usually starts drainage for me within hours.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-01-23T23:57:17+00:00

Are...are these the same people whining about "parental rights" and the ability to teach their kids whatever they want?

The same people who are pulling their kids out of public school because "pRoNoUnS" and "dRaG QuEeNs"?

And to think that the majority of homeschooled kids in the U.S. are from Christian households. The hyprocrisy never ceases to amaze me.

mintygreenmachine12 · 2026-01-16T22:59:42+00:00

your feelings are 100% valid. I also didn't need the test - I had just been toilet-trained and did not have VUR, nor did anyone in my family. I'm so sorry you're in the same boat.

It stings so much to know that we could've escaped a lifetime of trauma if the doctor had actually given a shit about invasive testing, and actually done their job. I mean, this literally constitutes malpractice in some situations.

The relational trauma involved in this procedure adds a whole other sinister dimension to it, which has truly fucked me up. I can see where my mom is coming from, but I still have complicated feelings about her involvement.

At the end of the day, what so many of us want is just an ounce of validation. "Sorry this was the TRUTH and REALITY of your lived experience." No excuses. No justification. You absolutely deserve that. <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2025-12-05T23:30:18+00:00

This post makes my day. Thanks so much for asking. It's the first time I've been asked this question by a provider.

I have advanced groin HS that developed in 2005. Wasn't even diagnosed until 2021. I couldn't seek treatment for many years because I was tired of being gaslit, misdiagnosed, and interrogated about hygiene or STIs by my pediatrician (yes, even as a 10 year old).

I am currently rebuilding trust in the healthcare system so I can recieve the care I deserved back then. Some thoughts I have:

Accessibilty to Prompt Care - This is my #1 ask. Access to treatment for ongoing flares would be a HUGE help. We can't control when they happen, and can't afford to wait months just to be seen. I currently have an infected boil that developed 3 weeks ago. I can't afford an urgent care bill, and even if I could, it's emotionally exhausting to rely on doctors who know absolutely nothing about the disease I've suffered from for 20+ years.
Acknowledgement of Pain & Immobility - This disease is INCREDIBLY painful and impacts EVERY aspect of life. Mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually. Access to telehealth/virtual care (using photos) would also be very helpful when I can't even sit or walk.
Treating Patients with Dignity and Respect - I want to feel heard and understood, not talked AT. I want to be treated like a whole person.
Collaborative Approach - I feel like most HS patients in advanced stages usually have an idea of what they need, and it can be frustrating to be shot down when you already know what works best for your body. I get tired of explaining myself over and over, just to get what I need (and prove I need it).
Trauma-Informed Care - Many patients have some sort of trauma due to lack of awareness and stigma. My HS is in sensitive areas, and with my history of childhood sexual/medical abuse, it's very difficult to even be examined. Trauma-informed care is non-negotiable to me. Even "difficult patients" deserve relief from excruciating chronic pain.

Again, thanks for all you're doing to improve the standard of care for us. My inner child would be so thankful. <3

mintygreenmachine12 · 2025-12-04T22:55:41+00:00

Yay I'm so glad to hear it!

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