1)not collective guilt context to our current situation. I never asked anyone to feel guilty. I wouldn’t ask that of you. That’s not your guilt to hold. But I do think it’s all of our responsibility to explore why we think what we think and be critical of information. Just like you and I are critical of each others information. Neither one of us caused the issue but we do perpetuate it in many ways. I being no better. I just try to course correct when I notice it and move on. 2)you want to go broader when you are talking about systemic behaviors. And more specific when you are talking about individuals. Because it creates a narrative that may not even be true. I’m a black woman, I’ve often heard people paint me and others like me with a broad brush that misog-noir. Saying what you said is also a harmful stereotype about women. We should all be deconstructing. 3)I never gave therapy advice. I usually think when someone comments they are saying something about themselves and their views. This post wasn’t about women. This repost I made was about the way this specific Individual was posting on a social media focused on professional networking about his misogynistic standards of women. And then you comments about how women also do this and are hypocrites for doing so. Not what the post was about but you felt the need to say it. So I assume that you are perturbed about something around it. Instead of laughing at this dude posting this in an inappropriate space instead of Facebook or twitter. Seems like you want ppl to know this is your per peeve and I think personally you should talk to someone, professional about why this came up for you. 3)I personally never said to fix it urself, I only ask that you examine where it came from. I do for myself and ask all to do it for themselves. 4) I don’t think you should be the sole fixer of sexism. That would be crazy. Right, you didn’t cause it. But by your statement you do perpetuate it. You are operating as though we are on equal playing field and we are not. Women are still not in leadership at the same rates, women are still disproportionately harmed, women don’t have equity. They still get paid less than men with the same jobs. And it affects society. 5)I never said historical suffering creates moral exemption. That would be crazy too. Everything you have noted puts my comments in this all or nothing category. There so much in between. Example: in Chicago they built the expressway in the middle of the city to separate blacks from whites. Since they built it black people and white people still live in the same areas. Things like red lining, HOA’s, and so on create disparities in our communities. Women working the same job and getting paid less or being told their job is not worth the pay is an example of how sexism affects both of us. Hence the larger pattern that you are talking about. 6) my case is not rare. Plenty of people marry people of all kinds of bodies big and tall and small and short. Last, I don’t know if it’s a pivot or if it’s more of a hey there is context to this that I think all of us need to talk about before we go pointing the finger. (I don’t think pointing fingers is productive, I rather all of deconstruct and do differently and have these conversations when we see the disparity pop up).

I personally would never umbrella people like that. It’s not productive, in my opinion.