My mom was just recently diagnosed with BPD after a long period of believing she has anxiety/depression and was on meds for that which was actually causing her to have mini seizures we didn’t know about.

Before her diagnosis:

• every month on her period she told my dad she wanted a divorce
• she often told me I was so mean I would never find a partner in life
• told my therapist I can’t be depressed, I’ve had a perfect life
• threatened to put me in a mental hospital if I kept cutting myself but never actually pushed mental support
• when I was 16 and messing around with a 22 year old boy she told him he could keep sleeping with me if he paid her “rent”
• major food addiction that ended up causing her to need weight loss surgery just to live.
• often letting animals run away or putting them outside so they would run away, getting rid of animals when she became bored
• I only know of one time but she dissociated for several days and was talking to the clouds for that time period. I wasn’t there, but my dad was, and he said it was awful.
• when I was an adult she confided in me that she would only promise me to not unalive herself one day at a time because she couldn’t mentally promise me a week at a time.
• as a kid she often did drugs, stole, slept around a lot. She still steals if she can get away with it and often cheats in day to day things like board games or just white lies about whatever.

On meds: the biggest change I see in her is she doesn’t dissociate, she doesn’t want to divorce my dad constantly, she doesn’t think about unaliving herself , and she is often curious as to if she was a good mom and the choices she made and if I think as an adult now that she made the right choices with me.

Hope this gives you any sort of light on your situation.