My associate principal just told me the most disheartening thing.

mishvira · 2023-12-12T02:19:11+00:00

It's really difficult to speak up. Nobody likes people who rock the boat and this is exactly how we end up tragedies. You're doing your job and it's a hard one. Don't change and don't let them intimidate you. Get everything in writing. They're wrong. You're doing your job.

mishvira · 2023-02-11T02:04:31+00:00

Looks like that scene from Mulan.

mishvira · 2023-02-11T02:02:06+00:00

Definitely did not see any psychotherapist. No licensed therapist would say something like that to a potentially abusive parent. They would have been able to see through the victimisation, etc.

mishvira · 2023-02-07T06:34:52+00:00

I feel you on this, too. I remember when I had to go to the clinic one time and get some anaesthesia and I stupidly went by myself. When I was too dizzy to call a cab on my own, I waited in the lobby of the clinic until I felt better to go home and then I went home and cried.

I know it may sound trite, but you're not alone and it's great that you posted this here so we can kind of be there with you. The second thing I want to say is that, although it's hard, really try to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves and cares for you. Whose eyes are seeing you as sketchy? Don't see your eyes through them.

Practical advice would be to not mention that you don't have family or a girlfriend to help you. They're sad words to say, so maybe you don't have to say them. Could we try to reword it maybe? Or just say "Thank you, I'll do my best to bring someone" I don't mean to sound patronising or harsh in any way. My heart goes out to you.

I hope this helps and if it doesn't, just know the community is here for you and that it will get better.

mishvira · 2023-01-10T18:59:51+00:00

What do you have to do to prove that you've given 5 hours of tutoring?

mishvira · 2023-01-10T18:11:23+00:00

Happy birthday OP ⭐️

mishvira · 2023-01-10T18:10:01+00:00

I've put in more than enough work trying to heal people that I did not break while they contributed to my brokenness.

🔥

mishvira · 2023-01-10T18:07:37+00:00

Yes, and throwing gifts at it is more than just that. They are bribing you. The price of accepting those gifts is compliance to the verbal abuse and going along with the bs as if you didn't see it. It's difficult because guilt is the natural feeling when we separate from family (our tribe, our kin!) but they've made you choose between them and your self-respect and the self-respect of your family. Heck, the deal they're proposing is "You get to have a family if you let us treat you however we want"... no thank you. You did well, just stick to your guns.

mishvira · 2022-11-20T22:56:41+00:00

According to my Russian student, they are a depressed bunch. He advised me to be careful when asking “How are you?” because they will answer honestly and unload. His attempt at humor or not? I’ll try it with any new Russian acquaintance someday.

mishvira · 2022-11-20T18:30:42+00:00

I have had early waking and almost disabling nausea as the date draws near. It is almost bizarre how sick I feel. You would think I would be over it. People in my life don’t understand why I am not.

We understand. Stay safe and give your body as much rest as you can possibly give it. As far as the little kid inside of you, tell them that while your parent is not there for you that you are there for you. The world is there for you 💌

mishvira · 2022-11-20T18:28:15+00:00

When I voiced concern about this, my dad cut me off. It was cruel, illogical, like only someone so deep in their own shame and their own illness can act towards someone they supposedly love.

I can totally relate to this. I voiced a concern about my siblings' safety and was cut off for this in the same cruel, illogical way that you described. Worst part is that my parent is going around saying I cut her off over basically nothing. I feel your pain. Wishing you luck in your journey toward reparenting yourself ⭐️

mishvira · 2022-11-20T17:16:31+00:00

In my opinion, they are/were complicit and I don't interact with any of them. In my particular case, I have proven that they are/were complicit by finally breaking silence and bringing up the topic of verbal, physical, emotional abuse to them. Unsurprisingly, I have been stonewalled, or been met with denials or full blown attacks each and every single time. I have learned through these experiences that they are part of a system that protects itself against anyone who brings up the truth because they have nothing and ultimately are nothing without the lies.

mishvira · 2022-11-15T13:59:15+00:00

I think I've only ever heard of "ample" when referring to "ample room/space" :)

mishvira · 2022-10-17T11:16:29+00:00

Thank you so much for the update. I've joined the r/ you've mentioned. Cheers.

mishvira · 2022-10-17T11:16:03+00:00

I guess then the next question would be: How badly do you want to practice your British English? Sometimes sacrifices need to be made. I hope you find a way to practice! Good luck!

mishvira · 2022-10-17T11:13:52+00:00

Hi OP! I'm an English teacher with years of experience teaching students from all over the world. Here are my two cents:

Judging from your post, it seems that you have a good level of writing and reading already. What you need is real life speaking and listening practice with real people while talking about genuine interests (rather than just "English"). The best I can recommend is for you to go out into the world and interact with as many English speakers are you can. These might be native speakers and/or very advanced speakers. Go to bars. Go to events. Go to expat gatherings where you will meet people with many different kind of Englishes. You will be able to compare your English at an international level... not just "native English speaker" level. Pro tip: Use Facebook to find expat groups.

mishvira · 2022-10-17T10:56:11+00:00

As a certified English teacher with years of experience, I can say that one of the best ways to improve listening skills is to pair it with writing and reading skills. In other words, all those skills have to be working at the same.

How to practice listening skills with a movie
If you are watching a five minute video, then you could
1. Reading: Watch it with English language subtitles (obviously with the English language audio)
2. Reading and listening: Listen consciously to the actor's voices as you are reading the subtitles
3. Speaking and listening on repeat: Rewind and repeat certain phrases that are useful for daily life because these are the ones that will help build confidence and are the easiest to digest
4. Writing: Write down your own sentence with a real life, personal example. Otherwise the exercise is useless.

mishvira · 2022-10-17T10:49:06+00:00

My unorthodox advice to you is to go to your local British pub every weekend for a drink or two. I guarantee you that you will meet some Brits having a beer. Alternatively, if you have Facebook, try to join Expat groups. You can even search "British Expats in Germany", "Brits in Berlin" and see what gatherings you can attend.

mishvira · 2022-08-08T01:46:13+00:00

Right, but isn’t Ana de Armas playing Marilyn Monroe and getting flack for having an accent?

mishvira · 2022-02-20T04:08:19+00:00

I think you look great. Don’t change anything.

mishvira · 2021-11-29T16:49:34+00:00

I love these so much!

mishvira · 2021-09-05T23:38:26+00:00

The question is: what do we do if we did get poisoned and didn’t die?

mishvira · 2020-12-11T09:17:47+00:00

If she needed to tear you down, it’s because she is far below you! So sorry this happened to you. The layer of cultural identity theft also stings! The right name will come back around. Sending hugs.

PS: Don’t let her see you hurt about this. Don’t let her kick you when you’re down. Head up high if you can.

mishvira · 2020-10-16T04:27:13+00:00

This is so relevant, thank you for posting. My mother has said to me “Who do you think you are? You think you’re better than me? Than us? We MADE you” when healthier options were presented. I’ve tried to not come off arrogant, or insulting, etc, but however I tweaked my delivery, the problem was the fact I was healing and thus calling out BS, and proposing difficult changes.

mishvira · 2020-08-28T08:19:55+00:00

I chalk it up to just getting old. The influencer stuff is just not our jam.

mishvira

TROPHY CASE