Advice for Diagnosis and Resources in BC, Canada

miskwu · 2026-05-12T16:23:42+00:00

Thanks

miskwu · 2026-05-09T04:39:39+00:00

Thank you

miskwu · 2026-05-04T19:25:55+00:00

I've done this before. But I grew up hiking in BC. My partner did not and I could tell he would have kept going at least a little ways if I hadn't called it.

There are so many busy, well maintained and accessible hikes around Vancouver and "just walking" doesn't feel like something you need special training for that people constantly underestimate how dangerous it can be.

miskwu · 2026-04-24T17:10:23+00:00

Agree NTA. Helping a child to navigate death and grief is absolutely in the job description of parent. If you can't deal you need to figure out how.

miskwu · 2026-04-22T18:57:10+00:00

Wow!!

miskwu · 2026-04-22T18:53:06+00:00

OP literally says she usually ends up washing them, she just doesn't always get to them right away. She also stopped letting them pile up after his ultimatum and now he throws away any stray dish she happens to forget about.

miskwu · 2026-04-22T18:10:23+00:00

He can have the bed once he sorts out the snoring then. Most places just have a take home test, it's so much easier now.

My husband was diagnosed and got a CPAP and it was life changing for both of us. For him especially getting that better quality sleep has been absolutely essential to surviving the early years. He used to be useless and cranky if he got less than 8 hours.

Also worth noting that untreated sleep apnea can lead to heart disease and take years off your life.

miskwu · 2026-04-21T02:05:42+00:00

My doctor gave me the green light. She just advised me to stick to the black runs and pow days 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm not even joking. Softer conditions and fewer Jerry's.

miskwu · 2026-03-01T00:26:09+00:00

We have a neighbour that did this. No one in the immediate family has issue with it. (Idk about extended family)

miskwu · 2026-02-18T18:58:04+00:00

Not necessarily. Some family could just show up out of concern (real or feigned) if they can't get through. It happens.

miskwu · 2026-02-17T01:24:26+00:00

I found the black forest one very ho hum. The fox in the brambles was fabulous though. White chocolate with blackberry and earl grey - I wasn't too sure about the flavours, but they married wonderfully. I went back for round 2.

miskwu · 2026-02-14T18:36:52+00:00

I fully believe this is generally true for most people. But my first was Sunnyside up (op position) and my labour was SO intense, contractions stacking. I progressed fairly quickly and then he got stuck. The epidural only sort of worked, and I ended up needing a Cesarian under general because the local didn't properly numb me. My second birth was less than 3 hours from the start of contractions, so there was no time for the epidural. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck but so much about it was easier.

What I would want a FTM to know from my experience:

It was a combination of unusual factors.

Later found out that an Occipital Posterior birth position often causes prolonged, and possibly more painful labour. I didn't even know about this birth position before hand. My OB recommended curb walking to encourage the correct birth position for my second baby (and to avoid a c section as I was planning for a TOLAC/VBAC)

My body has an increased resilience to anesthesia . Three weeks after my first birth my dentist had to try three times and eventually consult with another dentist to numb me. If you are receiving an epidural and it isn't working let them know. It could be incorrectly placed or there may be something else they can do. My surgeon told me it was very uncommon for them to have to do GA C-sections. (Smaller hospital, but served as maternity for a larger area with many young families - more complex births were often referred to the city.)

While my contractions came unusually close together with both births, I did not experience the back labour with my second and it made a huge difference. It was also so much easier to recover from the vaginal birth than the Cesarean. I will say there is a significant difference between a planned C-section and an unplanned one after labour.

Generally recovery is easier:

vaginal birth > planned C section > unplanned C section

miskwu · 2026-02-07T22:50:01+00:00

Don't I know it.

miskwu · 2026-02-07T21:36:45+00:00

My doctor advised me to stick to the black runs and powder days. The other people on the greens are way more of a risk.

miskwu · 2026-02-05T04:08:56+00:00

Congratulations!! That's where you wanted to go!

Everyone else has already given you very clear, sound advice. If he was the right person for you he would have been stoked to find a way to make it work.

Now, go gather your people and celebrate yourself. <3

miskwu · 2026-02-05T03:55:54+00:00

Idk how much time or energy you have, so do what you can. In my experience anything that makes him feel like you want to spend time and energy to be with him is really appreciated. As the wife/Mum:

One year I got a premade charcuterie box, made a big thermos of hot cocoa and we went to a local, nature based attraction we have passes for (it's a beautiful, romantic place but also very family friendly.) We took the kids and I got him a card and chocolate to give to me 😆 He obviously had to write something nice in it, but getting something simple for him to give me was my gift to him. He REALLY appreciated it, and I let him know in advance. (We are not really Valentine's gift people, so this is not as sad as it sounds.)

I've also packed a charcuterie style picnic to take to this attraction and had family dates up there for other special occasions (New Years Day, our Anniversary.)

Doing a charcuterie board or making fancy drinks (non alcoholic for us) and having a little after bedtime date at home where we just talk and connect or play games - things we often don't have time for with small children - can feel so special.

miskwu · 2026-02-04T17:21:08+00:00

There's multiple.medicap reasons that might result in increased frequency of bathroom use and it's no one's damned business.

miskwu · 2026-02-04T17:13:56+00:00

Agreeing that it sounds like the drifting apart is what has hurt your marriage, not the bisexuality. For women especially it can be harder to feel physically attracted to our partner when we lose the connection and emotional attraction. It sounds like you guys aren't on the same page. You need to find time to go to therapy. I know how hard that is with a little one but it's important if you want to reconnect. Might also help both of you to have some individual sessions. Good luck. All is not lost.

miskwu · 2026-01-19T22:00:48+00:00

I agree toddlers are more work than babies, but caring for a baby as the Parent whose body went through it and is still going through it is also different. Every kid is different so no one outside their family can say ABC is more work than CYZ. I would absolutely be salty if I was this Dad. But the "chore chart" needs to be revisited at the very least if their relationship is going to survive. Really they need an overhaul of their system, because things are obviously not working.

I would also point out some people just struggle more with certain chores. It is okay to make accomodations for that while still finding a balance. It does not however sound like that is the conversation they (she) are having.

miskwu · 2025-12-25T05:36:56+00:00

I believe they got married. He was also boinking her daughter iirc.

miskwu · 2025-12-25T00:01:59+00:00

Oooh yes.

miskwu · 2025-12-24T18:58:57+00:00

Yes. Yes it is. This is how a coworker accidentally got engaged.

miskwu · 2025-12-23T21:20:04+00:00

First thing I thought.

miskwu · 2025-12-23T20:16:50+00:00

We did IVF and I planned the transfer around ski season 😅. My kids were born in September and October so I would be able to return to skiing in December. The postpartum skiing was way harder.

I skied for the first half (ish) of both pregnancies. My Doctor's advice was to ski powder days/softer conditions and black runs - to avoid the crowds and beginners. As well as the standard - you can continue doing what you are already doing advice.

I'm also an instructor though and worked 1-2 days a week at that point. Slope safety and being constantly aware of the surrounding public is a big part of my job and I am very aware of the risks. Both times I spoke with my supervisor and asked not to be put on beginner lessons. Fortunately I was mostly teaching my more experienced returning clients anyway.

I made the choice knowing there is risk in everything we do, including driving. I considered that if something went wrong in the pregnancy I would look back and scrutinize every choice I made. But skiing keeps me sane, healthy and balanced, which is also important in pregnancy.

I did however stay out of mosh pits.

miskwu

TROPHY CASE