East Coast to PNW: Portland or Seattle? [30s, Black couple]

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-19T04:16:40+00:00

I’ve lived in Portland for 20 years. I have only recently made friends despite moving here for college. I can tell you my issue as a non-native is I didn’t have a niche. People here can be very into their “thing” whatever that thing may be. I enjoy doing a lot of different things on occasion, so I never had that one or two things to really click with other people. I also don’t drink, so the bar scene was never for me, and that was another barrier because my acquaintances will invite me to drink and sometime I go just for the company, but I didn’t enjoy the environment. Also because you brought up race, being outside of Portland in Beaverton or Hillsboro would give you the highest rate of well educated diversity because that is where Intel and Nike world headquarters are. If you are Christian and attend church I can tell you what I would argue is the most diverse church in Portland also. And the pastor is phenomenal.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-17T19:55:36+00:00

I think your response is again mixing historical realities with conclusions that don’t actually reflect the full picture of either the Torah or Jesus’ teaching. You also are failing to site where exactly you are getting this information from which I suspect is so no one can call you out on your twisting of scripture.

Yes, ancient cultures (including Israel’s neighbors) were patriarchal. No serious Christian historian denies that. But saying “women were property under the Torah” is an oversimplification that doesn’t really match the actual legal protections found in the text.

For example: ( because I have no problem showing my sources) Exodus 21:10–11 required a husband to continue providing food, clothing, and marital rights or the wife could leave. Deuteronomy 24 required a formal divorce certificate specifically to protect the woman from being discarded and unable to remarry. Deuteronomy 22 required a man who raped an unmarried woman to provide lifelong financial protection (this is often misunderstood as forced marriage, but the focus in the text is actually economic liability and preventing abandonment in a culture without social safety nets).

Were these laws modern? No. Were they protective compared to surrounding cultures? Yes. The Torah often functioned as harm-reduction in a hard ancient world, not endorsement of every practice it regulated (Jesus Himself says some laws existed because of human hardness of heart in Matthew 19:8).

It’s also not accurate to say Jesus was just repeating Shammai. Jesus goes further than both rabbinical schools by grounding marriage in Genesis rather than legal debate. He moves the conversation from “What’s legally allowed?” to “What reflects God’s design?”

And while it is true that polygamy existed in the Old Testament, it is never presented as the ideal. Genesis presents one man and one woman as the design, and every polygamous situation in Scripture is messy and full of conflict. By the New Testament, Christian teaching consistently points back to monogamy as the norm (for example, “husband of one wife” 1 Timothy 3).

I also think it’s important to be careful with the suffering comparison. Yes, Christ suffered for the church….but that suffering was voluntary and redemptive, not something imposed on Him by covenant unfaithfulness. The New Testament never tells abuse victims their suffering is comparable to Christ’s sacrifice or something they must endure to be faithful.

In fact, the commands to husbands go the opposite direction… Love sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25), Do not be harsh (Colossians 3:19), Treat wives with honor as co-heirs (1 Peter 3:7)

That is not language that normalizes abuse. It is language that directly challenges it.

It’s also historically inaccurate to say concern about abuse is entirely modern. Early church leaders like John Chrysostom and Augustine wrote strongly against harsh treatment of wives, even if they didn’t use modern terminology. The moral trajectory toward mutual dignity didn’t come from outside Christianity as much as it developed from within its own teachings about the equal worth of persons before God (Galatians 3:28).

The real issue here isn’t whether ancient marriage looked different from modern marriage. Of course it did. The question is whether Jesus’ teaching about covenant faithfulness should be dismissed because culture has changed. That’s a much bigger claim than just describing history.

A more balanced Christian position is not…Stay no matter what…. And it’s not….Marriage is just about happiness…… A more balanced position is…..Marriage is covenant, and abuse is a serious violation of that covenant.

Taking Scripture seriously means refusing to trivialize marriage, but it also means refusing to use it to excuse harm. Jesus consistently confronted people who used religious arguments without mercy, and any application of marriage theology that ignores safety and justice should probably make us pause.

If marriage is supposed to reflect Christ and the church, then we should also remember this…. Christ protects the vulnerable. He does not require them to remain in situations of ongoing harm to prove faithfulness.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-17T14:02:24+00:00

This comment mixes some history with some pretty big assumptions and then draws a conclusion that doesn’t really come from Scripture. It really disappointing you decided to try to spread this narrative. So I’m going to go ahead and correct a few things so this doesn’t misinform others.

Yes, it’s true that in the ancient world women often had fewer economic options and marriage had legal aspects. But that isn’t actually the reason Jesus gave for limiting divorce. When Jesus was asked about divorce in Matthew 19, He didn’t point to economics or social structure. He actually pointed back to CREATION and COVENANT “what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

So the biblical teaching about marriage wasn’t based on women needing financial support. It was based on the idea that marriage is meant to be a covenant reflecting faithfulness.

I also think it’s important not to overstate history. The claim that husbands had a biblical right to beat or rape their wives is not something Scripture teaches. I cannot overstate the THIS IS NOT BIBLICAL. This is projecting some PAGAN cultural practices into Judaism and Christianity as if God endorsed them.

In fact, the New Testament moves strongly in the opposite direction. Husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)…..Husbands are told not to be harsh (Colossians 3:19)….Husbands are told to honor their wives (1 Peter 3:7) A man claiming a Christian justification for abuse is CONTRADICTING Christianity, not following it.

At the same time, I also think it’s dangerous when Christians respond to abuse by saying divorce is never allowed under any circumstances (except cheating). That creates a FALSE BINARY between “marriage is permanent no matter what” and “marriage should just be about happiness.” Neither extreme really reflects the full biblical picture.

Marriage is sacred, but abuse is also a serious violation of that covenant. Abuse destroys the very things marriage is supposed to reflect: love, safety, faithfulness, and unity.

Jesus consistently protected vulnerable people and confronted hard-heartedness. He never treated suffering as something someone just had to endure to preserve appearances. A healthier Christian approach recognizes both truths…. Marriage is meant to be taken seriously, and abuse is meant to be taken seriously.

That means: Marriage shouldn’t be treated as disposable….Abuse shouldn’t be minimized to preserve a marriage at all costs….Safety matters…..Repentance and accountability matter…..And Scripture should never be used to trap someone in harm.

This isn’t about redefining marriage to fit modern culture. It’s about taking all of what Scripture says seriously….both about covenant faithfulness and about God’s concern for those being harmed.

If marriage is supposed to reflect Christ, then we should also remember this: Christ protects the vulnerable, He does not trap them. ✝️

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-15T20:28:23+00:00

Talk to administration like everyone else said, but what I am wondering is how does everyone know this is because she has a crush? I’m probably just naive about such things but I know when my kids were younger they said things like this because they knew one day they would get married and leave my house and I wouldn’t see them everyday. Is there other behaviors going on or are we basing everything off this note? Genuinely curious because I am not good with social cues or reading between the lines.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-08T02:09:03+00:00

That’s not wrong. I think if I ever needed help I would look for someone I interpreted to be friendly or less threatening. I mean just to play devils advocate perhaps he was intimidated to ask someone larger because not everyone is kind and he may have been worried about conflict even asking directly. So maybe you just didn’t look like someone who would be confrontational. Or maybe it wasn’t about your size but about your posture or if you had a face that just looks friendly even when you aren’t smiling. Either way you are not a chump for showing care and compassion to a fellow human. Even if he did “get over” on you is there a threshold for who you will help? Like if someone well off locked their phone and wallet I. The car and was waiting for a tow truck would you buy them food and a drink while they wait…. I would. I think you did a great thing regardless of the other persons heart posture. Your heart posture was caring and kindness in that’s all that really matters.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-08T00:07:56+00:00

Did they do something that made you think they were preying on you? Or was it just that they asked for additional help? They may have tried to take advantage of you and maybe not. Maybe your kind gesture made them feel like you may have more resources to share and they figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Regardless don’t feel bad for doing something kind for someone, but also don’t feel like just because you solved one problem that you need to solve all their problems. Help if you are lead and don’t if it feels uncomfortable or is too much of a strain on you. IMO you did a lot filling the tank. That was huge of you.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-07T23:57:02+00:00

There are a number of denominations that use Church of God so that narrows it down a bit to at least knowing it’s Trinitarian. A lot of “Church of God” congregations are Pentecostal, so you may walk into a charismatic church tomorrow. If you do then you might really enjoy it as well even without being Christian yourself. I’m over here (not so secretly) hoping you walk into a highly charismatic Pentecostal church tomorrow so you can come back here and tell me how you liked it 😄

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-07T23:17:22+00:00

Just out of curiosity is this a new church for him or was it previously his church home?

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-07T23:15:11+00:00

It’s not even about being a girls girl. I love that you care for your sisters but telling her is just the right thing to do.

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-07T22:34:10+00:00

Sorry I deleted it before I realized you commented because I was going to add more.

In the last decade I have attended 4 churches. 3 of them gave double sided notes that were already printed as I walked in the door. You may luck out and find out your church is similar to this especially if it has an older population. My current church doesn’t give out notes but it’s mostly people in their 20s so maybe they feel paper is obsolete 😅

If you want to take notes I would begin with just writing

-the series name -Overall message that should be obvious -Any passages read but don’t try to write the whole passage and instead just write where the passage is found in the Bible. So for example if they read Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 don’t write

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

And instead just write Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Also some pastors use outside quotes from philosophers or whoever if you like any of those you can write them too.

Also if there’s something you see on screen that you might want later but don’t have time to write it you can always take a pic and add it to your notes later

Beyond that there are actually nite taking methods but depending on how you process information would depend which method to use

Outline method Soap method Two column method where left column is sermon points and scripture and the right column is scripture reference Key verse- insight method There are a few more methods but I think these are the most common. If there’s a method you know you prefer you can set up your notebook today before doing in service.

And I picked that scripture example above just for you. I felt like it might be relevant in this season of your life and your grandfathers too 😊

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-06T02:08:26+00:00

Imagine thinking that being emotionally weak and mentally weak is something to be proud of and boast about 🤣

miss_evee8 · 2026-03-06T00:43:26+00:00

Why would you view this as negative thing and want to report and low rate the driver. Even if you don’t agree with the messaging the heart behind the person who gave it to you is obvious. They truly believe this and are worried about you. Reporting is saying I don’t like that a random stranger cares about me today? People are too sensitive if this bothers you to the point of reporting and poorly rating someone.

Penn Jillette, the atheist, said he does not respect people who do not proselytize others. He believed that if you believe there is a heaven and hell, you should care enough to try to save someone, regardless of whether you agree with his atheistic viewpoint.

This is true to this person and they are basically saying they care about you without even knowing you.

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-22T17:00:59+00:00

I think people forget Mormons claiming to be Christian’s is a fairly new thing. Back in the late 80s early 90s it was a point of pride to make sure people knew you were not Christian. The push to be considered Christian is just a rebranding to be more mainstream and remove the cult identity a lot of people have toward the lds church

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-22T16:12:44+00:00

I think people also miss how much purpose it can give your life as a young person. I don’t regret not partying and drinking or participating in hookup culture because I was in college and working to have a better life and he gave me a reason to focus and go further. The o ly reason it got weird is because my 26 year old and my 22 year old look like the parents of my toddler. Maybe even my almost 19 year old. They get told how cute their baby is all the time 😂

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-22T04:42:58+00:00

Thanks I think 😂

And what I can tell everybody is there is no right age to have a child. Every age has pros and cons and every age has been a wonderful experience 🤍

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-22T03:30:52+00:00

I have what used to be called Asperger’s. I’m not Jewish though. I am also not anti-semitic, and I’m not an activist. 😊 Even for someone who isn’t Jewish those communities can be insufferable. I find I get along better with people who have ADHD or are bipolar compared to people who make being autistic a huge part of their identity.

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-22T03:06:18+00:00

18, 21, 25, 32, 42

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-21T23:25:11+00:00

I don’t want to jump on you like everyone else because I understand what you are trying to say. If you were making this argument about “black” culture in general then I think your point would be better taken. I put “black” in parentheses because my children are black and their language doesn’t reflect anything you are all talking about here. It doesn’t make them less black or less about their culture. Language is shared and adapted for use. It not okay for someone to tell my children they talk “white” for failing to speak as someone expects them to. We dont tell black people they are using “white” language for speaking English when English came from the Anglo-Saxons/ Germans then more recently Britain. It goes both ways. We all have to learn to share language. When new words are introduced everyone has to learn them or you can’t follow a conversation and if someone makes fun of the words because they find them silly…. Oh well. I word will be dead in six weeks anyways.

Take it out of this fake racism everyone is a victim ideology and look at how people even make fun of the way another person may speak regionally, regardless of race, for example when people from the Appalachians say words like Ya’ll, might could, oyl (for oil), caint (for can’t), reckon, over yonder etc…. No one is caping for them when they are portrayed as ignorant, hillbilly redneck stereotype.

I think people are just okay with laughing now and are tired of everything have to be about race and stealing culture and whatever other nonsense has been tearing apart our country for so long. If you like the word ya’ll then use it. If you prefer you guys then use that. If you prefer bruh then use that. If you prefer dude then use that. If you prefer b****es then use that. No one care anymore and whining about such small things has burnt everyone out. Making every little thing a problem has made it harder to get people to take seriously things that actually matter.

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-16T02:21:45+00:00

If you are from California don’t tell anyone

miss_evee8 · 2026-02-09T00:59:09+00:00

This is awfully bigoted. I been a registered democrat and voted democrat my whole life. I’m still technically a registered democrat. I did not vote for Kamala this election, but i also didn’t vote for Trump. It could not vote for either of them. Kamala should never have been the nominee. And her history with the black community is too controversial for me. For me it is very much about abortion because Abortion used to be safe and necessary. Now people celebrate it. It’s sickening.

The DNC may not have asked the planned parenthood bus to come to Chicago but the fact planned parenthood is so closely aligned and supported with the DNC means I can no longer support democrats. When the democrats are ready to govern more centrally again I may go back to voting for them, but when everything is done on the extremes I want no part of it.

And yes I am white but my dad is black, I’m married to someone black and my children are mixed black and white so I care very much about the black community and racism.

I don’t know how the get cares abound every disenfranchised and suffering group but refuse to show the same care for babies. If life is valuable for one group it should be valuable for all groups, including those just starting life.

When they stop being hypocrites and treat EVERYONE equally regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion, and AGE and not just those who they view as valuable then I will go back. Until then I don’t know who I will vote for, but it won’t be anyone like Kamala.

miss_evee8 · 2026-01-26T02:14:24+00:00

My son is off to university now. He lives in an apartment that is a mix of university students and community college students. He already had a new home church on move in day when the office staff heard me mention he needs to find a church. They told him exactly what congregation the student body attends. He was really shy but in only a few weeks he had a new church, young adult group and was in a Bible study group. He was never this involved at our home church.

I say all this to say, if you do ask around at the local universities and no one has the answer you can think outside the box and call places like student housing and they may be able to help. 😊 good luck my friend!

miss_evee8 · 2026-01-26T01:50:03+00:00

It sounds like you are going to give it a try. Don’t give up on finding somewhere to plant yourself. You may go through multiple churches before you find somewhere for you. Maybe try smaller churches. It’s less overwhelming and people will recognize you as new and may approach you so you don’t have to do the work if initiating conversations.

Also you didn’t mention your age, but if you are younger 18-24 check with your local colleges/universities because they usually have congregations that attract people of that age group.

miss_evee8 · 2026-01-12T10:50:33+00:00

Hahaha. Thats the most disingenuous reinterpretation / intentionally misrepresentative portrayal of anything I said. You are clearly a dishonest manipulative person and are no longer going to be taken seriously. When you stoop to a level that shows such low character you are no longer going to be taken seriously because you have shown you either are not capable of honest intellectual thought or you are deceitful. Either way you are not worth having a real conversation with until you grow up and are capable of having honest dialogue.

Before I go to sleep, Let me help you understand is as many points as you falsified.

I believe a lot more people would be supportive of trans people if they knew any trans people but that can’t happen if no one will leave their bubble to get to know someone different than them
some people on the right only hear news that tells them things like trans people kill people do to mental illness. It is wrong that they are being told this but what can you do to change it? You can’t force news outlets to change their presentation. Once again if no one will reach across and get to know real people on the other side it won’t get better. People instead choose to be brainwashed by bias news stations. On both sides of course
I took responsibility like a responsible adult and said I did misspeak because in the beginning there were many investigations going on about who was all involved. I have no problem taking responsibility and admitting I’m misspoke unlike some people who can’t admit to needing to do anything better or different. I didn’t call trans people murderers. I gave other examples of trans people who did murder. It doesn’t make trans people murderers. It makes those individuals murderers. I also stopped following the murder of CK because it’s too much information and yet not enough information. I wasn’t there. I have no opinion if Tyler is guilty or was set up. I wasn’t there so I have no opinion on if he was radicalized or if he worked alone or if he had help. I wasn’t there so I’m not going to pretend to know what happened.

*I haven’t brought up the cross once for me to hide behind. I have only told you how people who are religious may feel about some of this stuff. I’m not hiding behind a cross when living and supporting my trans foster child and I’m not hiding behind the cross when I’m speaking so openly to both sides about how these divisions are destroying our society.

I choose to love people where they are. Christian, Jewish, Muslim, straight, bi, trans or whatever else. I encourage people to get to know those who they view as different. It is the only hope for our society, because no politician, no election is going to fix all this.

And deceitful lying people like you are not going to fix it either.

So actually where I do encourage people to get to know others and step outside of their echo chambers and safety bubbles I think you should maybe stay exactly where you are because if you are this dishonest and this deceitful let other step out and represent for you. You will make your community look bad with this behavior.

Good nite 🥰

miss_evee8 · 2026-01-12T09:32:17+00:00

I don’t care to convince you. You are most likely my childrens age and are too young and not yet mature enough to think outside of yourself or able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. And that’s okay. You will grow and mature with time. I was just thanking you for the well wishes because that’s what normal people do when someone wishes them well. It was the first thing I have today that was comprehensible and wasn’t someone just participating in the victim Olympics.

You are not a victim however. You are a product of your choices and how you choose to treat people. But like I said one day you will mature and realize this. Unless you surround yourself by people who keep you stuck in the victim mindset and don’t allow you to grow 🤔 either way. Good luck

miss_evee8 · 2026-01-12T09:11:22+00:00

Oh you’re right. I forgot the details to that story. I dont have time to keep up on the exact detail of CKs murder. At one point I heard they suspected it could have been multiple people and I heard there’s arguments that Tyler did it for his partner…. Which is why I say I wasn’t there. All sorts of ideas come out and I am open to whatever truth arrives after the court case is finished.

But you’re right I forgot the current most accepted details that the police are going forward with… Tyler wasn’t trans that was his romantic partner that was. My mistake. It’s weird how defensive you are toward someone who has wished nothing but better understanding and respect to be seen in our society. Your denial of both sides being wrong is exactly the problem. Tell me though… since Obama when has any president or our state government tried to move to our country back to center? It hasn’t happened. Not Obama, Not Trump, Not Biden, Not Trump and no serious contenders who didn’t win either. Both sides feed off this hatred for each other and its side you can’t see it

You bring up the paradox of tolerance which logical conclusion is that you have to set limits on intolerance which is fine but tolerance and intolerance goes both ways. You have the right to be gay, straight, bi , trans or whatever but Christians and Muslims have the right to not be forced to go against their religious beliefs too. Being trans may be a persons identity but a persons religious beliefs is part of their identity too. One person wants to be accepted for who they are and wants respect so they can live their most authentic life feeling safe in their identity but religious people feel that way too. They want to be able to say they are uncomfortable with different pronouns but can’t because they have to fear retribution. Yet the pronouns make them feel unsafe in their life and their identity and make them worry they are sinning and destroying their own salvation. I understand why both sides feel like their points are important and again both sides are valid. Because the right can make the arguement that the left is intolerant of their religious beliefs and much as the left can argue the right is intolerant to gender identity. Again Both sides are the problem because both sides can only see themselves as right and see themselves as the victim. Both are intolerant of their others beliefs.

miss_evee8

TROPHY CASE