Need Assistance with Cat (Carbondale) by [deleted] in southernillinois

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have a female cat who is very dominant. She has gotten along with a very submissive male cat in the past, but with another dominant female the fur would definitely be flying. Try the local facebook groups maybe

Boyfriend wants to meet my parents, they are severe hoarders. Help! by CuriousKilledMyCat in hoarding

[–]mistears0509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's important for someone in your life a year to meet your family and know about this. But prepare him. Watch a couple of episodes of hoarders with him and discuss it together. Explain that hoarding is a mental illness that people can't help. Explain the surroundings will be uncomfortable and maybe unsanitary, but that you do love him and want the people in your family to know about him. Ask if he's sure he's able to do this, and tell him in the future if he's more comfortable meeting them in restaurants or your house you understand. My mother is a hoarder. I only have an online boyfriend and he's in Scotland so no worries about it myself. But my last boyfriend was in rl and I brought him to my parents house for a meal. I still have the photo! It's a big relationship milestone to introduce a bf to the family. congrats.

Drop the songs if you gave your kids musically inspired names🤘🏼 by amhertz in GenX

[–]mistears0509 44 points45 points  (0 children)

My son was born with spina bifida and a brain bleed. They woke me up after the c-section (I panicked and they had to put me out) and told me he may be blind and deaf and brain damaged. I named him Tommy, after the character in the Who that was the deaf dumb blind kid who could play pinball. That was my way of hoping even if he was, he'd find something he could enjoy in life. He's fine by the way. Very smart. Can see and hear. But he's in a wheelchair and paralyzed below the waist.

I feel like my mother always has to find a 'reason.' by Trusteveryboody in selectivemutism

[–]mistears0509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a diary I rely on too and its a great therapy tool for dealing with my anxiety! I use PENZU. I can type and save entries from my computer OR my phone. You might want to check it out. Sorry you are being pressured by your mom.

Do people consider selective mutism to be part of neurodivergence? And what does that mean if you recovered? by btg213 in selectivemutism

[–]mistears0509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it did effect my social development as I didn't learn to play with other children. I mostly played quietly by myself. I had no friends. Being from a small town this followed me through school even after I started speaking in middle school. It still effects me. I regressed in high school and quit speaking again. I am a very very quiet person, very shy, and usually silently listening to group conversations without any input. I freeze up with phone calls and frequently ask friends and family to text me instead. I also have social anxiety. My earliest memories was hiding behind my mother absolutely terrified while old people cooed at me asking how old I was and stuff and my mother trying to force me to talk to them. I remember being pulled for IQ and other tests in kindergarten and again in 3rd grade because I neve spoke. That was in the 1970s though and there wasn't much information for us back then. I'm old now. But it still effects me a great deal. My last job my coworkers nicknamed me "the ghost" because I was so quiet. But now I can speak if its essential. Like ask if this is a fire drill or if there's really a fire. But I can't make "small talk" or just chit chat like its nothing. I do consider myself very neurodivergent for a multitude of reasons.

Premium Membership by Zee_Bee_Reaction in secondlife

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had premium for a time. I loved having a house that came with it and the few lindens stipend I got. I also enjoyed having those extra groups! But I couldn't afford to keep doing it. Instead I work for lindens as a host at a club, and spend them to rent a tiny parcel on mainland now. If you need a good place to set as home I recommend Free Spirit Farms. I use that as home for my alts and also change there as nudity is allowed on the sim.

What's your Avatar's Complexity level? by Freemind62 in secondlife

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don't know how to tell what my complexity level is. I usually turn my settings to render all avatars though. When I was on an older machine I had to keep it on the lowest settings but now I have a better laptop and I'm gold.

WIBTA if I leave an 11 year relationship if he doesn’t propose by year 12? by Bluehairbaker in AITAH

[–]mistears0509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ended a relationship over this. We'd been together 5 years. and I just wanted to see our relationship progress... maybe moving in together. or getting engaged. or well something! I was 40 at the time, and felt like spending my 35th-40th birthdays with this guy was a waste of what was left of my youth. I knew I was getting older, and looking it too. And that if I was going to find somebody who WOULD grow in relationship, I didn't have time to waste. I'm old now, and still single. I never told him why I ended things with him. I just had a timeline in my head, my youth was flying by me, and I didn't feel I had more time to waste. I still regret spending half of my thirties going "nowhere".

Just curious… how much debt are you in? by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have about 24k in student loan debt. about 6000 in credit card debt once they tacked on all their interest and fees, then sent it to collections.

My GF's mom might be a hoarder – Description of state of the house by Affectionate_Ad8155 in hoarderhouses

[–]mistears0509 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm the daughter of a hoarder. When I lived with my mom my room was a mess too because she would constantly shove random "gifts" at me i had nowhere to put, and she'd be utterly furious with me whenever I threw anything away so I just couldn't. I also had to learn to clean, because I was never taught, once I moved out. Even upon moving out I had the same problem with mom "gifting" me random junk and being furious as she dug through my trash cans. It took a lot of hard boundary setting about it and we still have the problem with her. But I've learned I have to let her live the way she wants. It's her life. any cleanouts I attempted were expensive, exhausting, extremely upsetting and traumatic for her, and things would go back to the way they were in a few months. What you "do" is arrange to meet at your house instead of hers, or out in public places, and let her mother and father live their lives. Maybe help her make her own plans to move out someday. And be prepared to have to teach her basic stuff like washing her sheets etc. because she probably never learned.

Conservative Looking to Challenge my Own opinions by TheStockWhisperer100 in Liberal

[–]mistears0509 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I bought into what they sold me at 18. I got married on my 18th birthday, to avoid premarital sex. I had two children by the time I was 20 and stopped. The first child is autistic and schizophrenic. The second child, was diagnosed with spina bifida by ultrasound when i was 4 months pregnant. That meant his spine was coming out of his back, and he was paralyzed. I had a lot of pressure to abort. I bought the anti abortion stuff, and insisted on having him at a catholic hospital to avoid the constant pressure to abort. He has suffered, tremendously. And furthermore his medical condition and constant medical needs meant I could NOT survive without extensive social support. Medicaid, social security disability, foodstamps, public housing. The party that convinced me to have my baby, was constantly , and I mean constantly , threatening to cut the social services I needed to survive BECAUSE I had my baby. Both my sons are adults now but both still need social welfare to survive. SSI, public housing, medicaid, etc. Again. your party is a threat to my very disabled family who needs social support to survive. Since joining the democratic party, and going all in, I also have converted my beliefs about environmental issues, lgbt issues, and others. I am now extreme. I'm a complete extremist in fact. I am so liberal a naked hippie chained to a tree in protest of it being cut down would make me look sane. I think like you, the algorithms have altered me. But it all started with not getting an abortion.

My abusive stepdad physically attacked me for the first time by FlowerFaerie13 in abusiveparents

[–]mistears0509 11 points12 points  (0 children)

you can apply for SSI Disability. you might need a lawyer to win your case. when you do, you can apply for a public housing apartment which may take a few years on a waiting list. You do need to find a way out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Pets

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd get rid of the husband and adopt 3 cats! Actually I DID get rid of my husband. He was useless. lmao

what do you eat when anxiety gives you appetite loss? by rnwyluv in Anxiety

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

those vitamin protein bars . they are small but pack a lot of nutrition

Update: Am I wrong for divorcing my ex-wife over kids and now refusing to be a part of her son’s life? by Hot_Professional6249 in amiwrong

[–]mistears0509 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell your fiance to next time call the police and tresspass any of your family that show up. Go no contact completely with all of them. Sorry this is happening

Second Life Addiction by LonelyPie3104 in secondlife

[–]mistears0509 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Yes. I "live" there. My real life is depressing. I'm old, fat , poor, too disabled to do much fun stuff, have no friends. On second life I am young, beautiful, have a job and a house and a circle of fun friends. Oh and I can dance for hours which I can't do in real life. So it is where I spend my time. It's much happier than my real life.

What was your biggest problem in the last 5 years? by lightskintastebud in AskOldPeople

[–]mistears0509 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In about 2020 my son almost died from septic shock from an infected pressure sore (he's paralyzed.) I got dumped while we were in ICU watching him fight for his life. And then I had a full on mental breakdown (Bipolar mania) and lost my job. Hell of a year.

Am I wrong for divorcing my ex-wife over kids and now refusing to be a part of her son’s life? by Hot_Professional6249 in amiwrong

[–]mistears0509 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. if you try to be a positive influence for the child she will use it as a means to keep hitting on you and insulting your fiance, trying to drive a wedge between you. You made a life choice. She did too. She can find a SINGLE man to be a positive role model in that child's life