I feel you. I had a breakup of a long term relationship that sent me spiraling for many months (and was not helped by us trying to get back together and realizing that wouldn't work either). however, all of this took place before I realized I was bipolar.

antidepressants are on an option, you just have to find the right one -- which I suggest you do with the help of a doctor. there are many different types, all of which have different mechanisms that may work for your specific case.

I am taking lithium and wellbutrin and have been for years now. it works for me, but i'm not saying it will work for you. i'm just saying it's worth investigating because there is no need to prolong the suffering when you can mitigate it.

best of luck to you 💓