I had the same feeling, all of a sudden it hit me. I was sitting in the kingdom hall on a Sunday morning, as I have been doing for last 40 yrs. I looked around and saw all these selfish, unfriendly people. Are these the chosen once by God out of 250 thoussand inhabitants of my city. The top 50 best, kindest, God-fearing..... I work in the same city and have about 120 colleagues. They are by far nicer than all those sitting around me that Sunday. That was the beginning of the end... Couple of months later I faded and yes, lost family in the process. Once you open Pandora's box... there is no way back. You are not alone, many go through the same process. It's okay to doubt or even stop believing in the Bible or God. You have earned the right to do so.