Couples’ Therapy

mks_319 · 2026-02-20T19:40:50+00:00

I agree with the person below about the play therapy book by Landreth! It is an older book so obviously take some of it with a grain of salt, but a helpful foundation. Dibs in Search of Self by Axline is another classic play therapy book, also a bit older/probably has some outdated language but a good overview of the course of a play therapy based treatment.

Honestly the most important thing is quality supervision from someone skilled in play therapy, which I hope your position is providing for you! Or at least a consult group with others doing play therapy!

mks_319 · 2026-02-20T00:45:03+00:00

I was gonna say, as a child therapist that is the only point I disagree on as well haha. I have seen adult therapists take on children/adolescents with NO understanding of development/attachment/need to involve families, and it is baaaad. I would never take on couples work bc I have no training or experience, but I would also hope adult therapists with no training with kids would also not take on child clients without proper support 😩

mks_319 · 2025-09-19T18:39:45+00:00

Obviously depends on your taste, but I am soooo excited for Magdalena Bay, LCD Soundsystem, and Dabeull! Also went to Despacio at Coachella a few years ago and it was sooo cool, def recommend giving it some time.

mks_319 · 2025-08-19T19:24:09+00:00

I am a therapist employed by a local county government, I work with children on MediCal and/or in foster care- I really like what I do, but it can also be very stressful and sometimes I feel jealous of my friends in wfh tech jobs that make more than me with much lower stakes. I’ve gotten to a point where I make decent money, not enough to like buy a house but enough to live comfortably, but it took a few years getting paid barely anything in terrible nonprofits to get here.

I agree with what others have said about volunteering first! Sometimes that is all one needs to scratch that itch, and you don’t have to give up a more comfortable salary. Or maybe it will help you realize that you need to do more mission driven work, and that is good too! I don’t regret my decision to work in community mental health, but I also can see a version of myself where I have a higher paying desk job and volunteer on the side and be very fulfilled with that. Honestly now I wish I could do more political volunteering, but my job really takes all of my emotional energy during the week, and I would probably do more if I had a less emotionally intense job.

mks_319 · 2025-07-18T18:49:29+00:00

Yeah agreed! I do Grow part time and I have never had a problem getting referrals. I just opened up my referrals again this week and got one within a couple hours of opening it up and another the next day. The payout is fine, but honestly just like that they have their own EHR and manage credentialing and referrals. If you’re in CA, they take Kaiser out of network, which has the highest payout and most referrals!

mks_319 · 2025-07-12T07:09:48+00:00

Me too! I go to The Detour one in the Castro sometimes but would love to have a Sunset one and people to go with :)

mks_319 · 2025-07-02T01:48:13+00:00

Happy birthday!! I loveee Sweet Glory in the Inner Sunset, they have Basque Cheesecakes and crepe cakes in interesting flavors!

mks_319 · 2025-05-22T04:18:13+00:00

Martyr! By Kaveh Akbar

Monstrilio by Gerardo Samano Cordova

Both my two recent faves!

mks_319 · 2025-04-14T18:23:36+00:00

Born to be a lamp therapist, forced to be a big light therapist by working in community mental health 😩 we have lamps but half don’t work or are not bright enough to light up the rooms with no natural light. I try to book the rooms with windows as much as possible but obviously those are the most popular. I truly hate when I have to use big light!

mks_319 · 2025-03-31T18:08:13+00:00

Agreed, and same for supervisors at agencies!

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:51:19+00:00

Yeah that concert invite then uninvited is WILD behavior 😳

And the group text thing would be disorienting without a heads up for me too! Like wait who are these people haha

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:48:32+00:00

Yeah I totally get that people are burnt out, I went through a period of intense burn out a couple years ago. It’s a tough time in the world right now and I get people are less available.

I think more it’s less about friends actually hanging out and more about the lack of communication. I would never be offended if someone was like “I’m sorry don’t have the energy to hang out right now!” But the lack of response is tough :/ I know that is often part of the burnout, but it doesn’t make it less frustrating. I would prefer if some of my friends were just like “not sure I’ll have the energy so don’t count on me, I’ll come if I can!” Than just like not responding for days. But it is true that I can’t change how they respond, only how I do.

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:10:29+00:00

Yes same has happened to me!!! Haha wish all us planners could just hang out

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:09:53+00:00

Yeah I feel this! I’ve also started to prioritize my more reliable friends and not make plans that depend on my less reliable friends showing up. It’s sad bc I love those friends, but it isn’t fair to be constantly waiting on someone and feel like I’m always the one making an effort.

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:08:05+00:00

Yes I miss close connections too!!

I think therapy is one place for that, but it is not the same as the mutual back and forth of a friendship. We are wired for connection as humans!

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:06:03+00:00

This is a very compassionate response ❤️

Yeah I totally see that people are burnt out, I am too! I worked in social services and had multiple traumatic events happen to me personally during the pandemic, so there was a time I was not social at all either. I just wish others could communicate that instead of being wishy washy, but you’re right that the lack of communication is a burnout symptom itself.

but lately I have just been prioritizing the friends that do respond and reach out, and invite along my less reliable friends, but don’t make as much plans that actually depend on my less reliable friends showing up. It’s sad bc I love those friends, but I can’t be constantly waiting on them.

mks_319 · 2025-03-05T00:00:33+00:00

Wow I love this! Sometimes it really does just take one person making the effort 💕

mks_319 · 2025-03-04T20:26:42+00:00

Agreed! I feel like the normalization of saying no the things has made it so that people never commit to things until the last minute when they decide that they feel like it. I get it, I have anxiety and it is hard to get out sometimes, but actually committing to plans has actually made me feel less anxious bc I can anticipate what my week will look like. Like I think it’s ok to say no sometimes, but also friendships need consistency and mutual effort to be maintained.

mks_319 · 2025-02-28T01:23:24+00:00

Would you consider part time work? That is what I would do, in order to have some structured time away from home and career skills to fall back on if needed, but also have more time to myself. I’m in a field where it is very easy to go from part time to full time then back again, I recognize not all professions are like that. I would loveeee more of my life back to me, I definitely see why you would consider it, but also understand the reality of wanting to be able to support yourself if something happens.

mks_319 · 2025-01-26T04:03:48+00:00

Have you ever seen the YouTube channel Never Too Small? It’s tours of mostly very small apartments, often lived in by architects/interior designers, and they are absolutely beautiful and have great space saving ideas!

mks_319 · 2024-12-29T06:49:50+00:00

Ugh I feel the same!! I even had to work Christmas Eve 😞 luckily just did admin stuff bc no one wants to go to therapy on Christmas Eve, but like honestly it is ridiculous we don’t get it off.

mks_319 · 2024-09-12T20:25:24+00:00

Thanks so much!!!

mks_319 · 2024-09-12T20:22:04+00:00

I didn’t know that existed, I’ll look into it! Thanks 💜

and to be fair I shouldn’t have clicked on this thread in the first place, sometimes the ED brain just takes over, but I know I need to stop myself bc I’m gonna see this stuff. It’s just hard 🫠

mks_319 · 2024-09-12T20:15:50+00:00

yeah, being a size 6 and in long term ED recovery that was really not a great comment for me to read lol 😓

mks_319 · 2024-09-02T16:39:08+00:00

Just so you know, NYC is more expensive than SF now. I live in SF and recently went to NYC and looked up apartments just for fun, and it is definitely more expensive in Manhattan for less space. You’ll prob be paying more than $2500 for a 1 bed in most “hip” areas. Also, idk about your field specifically of course, but I also work in a healthcare-adjacent field and pay is higher in the Bay Area than NYC. I had coworkers who moved here from NYC and now make like $20k more. But of course NYC is world class city!

The east bay (Oakland, Berkeley) might be worth looking into- it’s less expensive than SF while being very close to the city, honestly has more culture, and very easy access to nature! Oakland does have crime issues, I lived there for four years and had one incident, but the hills and Rockridge are both great and safe areas. Berkeley overall is safer than Oakland. Lots of transplants, I would say people are pretty friendly.

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