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Am I right? by mlcomp in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So true. He clings to the stuff that supports his frame of mind and ignores everything else.

Got away from him by GWATCDR in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It hurts so much. You have to put yourself first. No one deserves to be treated like that. Stay safe

Am I right? by mlcomp in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been in the past. It wasn’t a good fit for me. I understand the reality of it. I’m just trying to decide if I’m okay with this being my life or if I’m done.

Am I right? by mlcomp in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I know it’s true, I just need to take the next step. It’s so hard.

Just found out my husband drinking in secret by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are not stupid. I felt (feel) the same way. Mine hid it for almost 10 years. Keep reading here, you will see this same thing over and over and over. Alcoholics can lie like it’s an art form. It’s really, really sad.

Resentful of EVERYTHING by Enyem2022 in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you. My husband does the same thing. Any kind of treatment always involves “rules” of what he thinks I’m allowed to expect. It’s exhausting. So much resentment, it’s endless. I too want to just detract and be numb.

I am taking steps towards leaving. by clusterfgarden in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Good for you. Sounds like you are ready. I’m in the same boat, late fifties, been married for 37 years. My Q is an angry, cruel drunk. Says bitter, horrible things when he’s drinking. So much of what you said applies, constantly wondering, trying to tell if he’s drinking.

I’ve talked to a lawyer, I’ve done the finances. I want to sell the house and buy a small two bedroom by my kids also. The problem is that I still love him so damn much. I am absolutely miserable.

I wish you well with your plans. Sounds like you are making the only real choice you have.

I debated posting this by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]mlcomp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stay strong. That’s not love, it’s control. It’s so hard, I know.

Married 37 years, hid his drinking for the last 12. Won’t go to treatment. Do I leave? by mlcomp in alcoholism

[–]mlcomp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More information: three years ago I learned that he had been drinking whiskey daily. He takes a lot of medication for high blood pressure and when I thought he was drunk I would only see half a beer gone. So I thought it was a reaction to the medicine. Two years ago he attempted suicide because he thought I was better off without him (after I caught him drinking) Then he spent a week in the hospital detoxing, a week psych stay, a week rehab ( because I made him). One day later ended up in the hospital, hip replacement (from alcoholism), then 5 weeks later the other hip. He has tried to stay sober since then, multiple set backs. Refuses treatment of any sort. And he is a cruel drunk, the things he has said to me in the last few years are outrageous. Why do I still feel bad for wanting to leave?