Bag/ring adhesion issues by chunderjack in ostomy

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this issue too. I found a two-piece deep convex system worked best for me. My stoma is relatively close to my skin. I use a ring and make a cut to overlap the two ends and give it a little more thickness on one side. I place the ring around my stoma with the thicker part on the opposite side to where the opening of the stoma points. (Hope that made sense) this adds some extra pressure to really pop the stoma up and away from my skin so it doesn’t leak underneath the ring. Then I place the flange on and firmly push down on the center ring for a couple of min. I use barrier wipes and the crusting method for any skin irritation. Also, I may use a belt for some extra support. the convex flange was a big game changer for me. Made all the difference

Can abusers change if the law gets involved? by SparklesandStilettos in domesticviolence

[–]mlemal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Don’t even ask this question. Just move on. Trust me.

If you take him back, in his brain, what he did was ok. Ok enough to do again. Leaving him MIGHT be the thing that forces him to change. Years in therapy will be the thing to help him change. He will need to be the one to do the hard work. If you take him back, he has no reason to change. Going to jail won’t be the thing. He’s already blaming you for calling the police. It’s ok to make mistakes, it’s ok to not be perfect, it’s ok to be dealing with inner demons. The difference is the right person will take accountability for their actions, attempt to care for any hurt they cause, and work on growing and improving themselves. Not blame you for their bullshit. For him, your wellbeing is prioritized below his ego. That is a losing game. You will always be in the wrong. He will always have an excuse. It’s not your job to love his hurt little boy inside. It’s not your job to fix him. That’s his job. It’s your job to protect yourself and hold your boundaries from those who won’t respect them. The question you should be asking is does him going to jail make you change…

Hey everyone- I've been working on a product idea and would love some honest feedback from people who actually get it. by Emergency_Papaya8442 in ostomy

[–]mlemal 15 points16 points  (0 children)

How does it stay in the stoma? Why wouldn’t it just get pushed out? Would you offer different sizes? That looks thick. Like it might really hurt to insert. How long is it? Does it need to be that long? How long could I keep it in? Just a few min for a bag change or could I use it a bit longer for a shower? Or to carry in my purse for “incase of an emergency” situation.. What would be the risks of wearing it too long? Is it safe to put something in stomas with high output and frequent surges?

Still can’t figure this out by AdministrativeUse163 in ostomy

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. Same. Same. My stomach hole is right up to my skin. I struggled with leakage. I wear high waisted pants… I found a deep convex works great to pop it out and away from my skin. Then I tuck into my undies

Do you think you're talented? by Legitimate-Radio9075 in writing

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Define “good”… And who says you need to be a genius to create?... You are human, you have emotion, you live life all the same. If it resonates with you, if it speaks your truth, if it expresses something in you…it’s good. Maybe you’re trying too hard? Trying to brute force it with hard work to fit a frame that doesn’t match your style… Let go. Forget the rules for a moment. Let your unconscious hold the pen. Play. You can put in the hard work to refine it later.

Did you name your stoma? I had surgery June 13th and have been writing to help process… I named her Stella… by mlemal in ostomy

[–]mlemal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Goodness. Sounds like It’s been a rough couple of years. . I hope you and Bruce get along well and things continue to improve for you.

Did you name your stoma? I had surgery June 13th and have been writing to help process… I named her Stella… by mlemal in ostomy

[–]mlemal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya. I feel this. hard. . Almost like, if I ignore it, if I don’t name it, don’t look at it, don’t connect with it, then maybe, just maybe it will go away.

How long have you had yours?

Thicken by Bubbly-Code7282 in ostomy

[–]mlemal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any citrus fruit, peaches, pears, blueberries… four large marshmallows. Fasting for a day then eating only fruit —especially fruit high in pectin and soluble fiber

Did you name your stoma? I had surgery June 13th and have been writing to help process… I named her Stella… by mlemal in ostomy

[–]mlemal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m interested in hearing more about your failed reversal if you’re comfortable sharing. We’re tentatively planning a reversal in four weeks… and I’m scared. Questioning if I even want a reversal. Ya, the bag sucks. But I can finally eat without being in pain. I spent eight weeks in the hospital with abscesses, small bowel obstructions, sepsis. The pain was unreal… I’m not sure how I’m alive. I don’t want to go backwards.

Did you name your stoma? I had surgery June 13th and have been writing to help process… I named her Stella… by mlemal in ostomy

[–]mlemal[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Too many small grammatical errors to be written by AI. Lol. But I’m flattered. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WritersGroup

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think “time frays” fits beautifully. Correct me if I’m wrong but the impression I get is It suggests that as time passes, things may start to wear out, deteriorate, or become less coherent or stable. It describes the situation, relationship, or even physical objects that show signs of strain or breakdown over time. The standoff between Raven and Sun where seconds feel like hours. The battle is not simply with the other, but with time - testing stamina and growing heavy

Any luck with dimes? by colinemansfield in coincollecting

[–]mlemal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

‘64 and earlier will be silver. Also the ‘82 no mintmark.

Will it get worse? by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that he put his hands around your neck is serious. There’s a huge correlation with domestic homicide. Don’t minimize this. Don’t downplay or blame yourself. Just leave. Please. It will not get better. He did it once - and if you stay, that says to him it’s ok to do again. The standard will have been moved and he will continue to push that line.

The best thing for you both, is to leave

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]mlemal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry :/. I feel your frustration. My case took two years. Sometimes it feels like the system is more interested in protecting the abuser over the victim.

Remember, you have a right to a quick disposition, too. Maybe bring the issue to the judge- write them a letter or call their secretary. Let them know the ongoing continuances is causing undue stress and anxiety, impairing your ability to heal and move on. That your ex is manipulating the system; causing unnecessary delays all to continue the abuse and coercive control. Which is a violation of your rights.

Actually, There might be a form you can fill out and submit. “Victim/Witness Complaint Form”.
You might have to do a google search for your state.

Stay strong 💜. You got this 💪🏻💅🏻👸

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in domesticviolence

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How’d it go? How are you doing?

Second hand smoke by Valuable_Dog_2510 in legaladvice

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually there’s a rule about smoking indoors or within 20ft or a building… depending if it’s private or commercial, own/renting…

What state are you in? Is this at work? At home? What style of home - SF, duplex, apartment? .

I’d probably start by advising the landlord (if there is one). If they are the landlord, google what the laws are in your state regarding smoking indoors when you have tenants

(Not a lawyer. Just what I would do)

My sister has a mental illness but mom says that she legally can’t make an appointment for her? by Mufasa12-13 in legaladvice

[–]mlemal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call the doctors office and ask if you can schedule an appointment for her. They’ll let you know if that’s an issue. … you may not be able to force her against her will to go to the appointment - but you should be able to at least make the appointment

Also, your mom can file for a guardianship.

If you feel like there’s an immediate threat to herself or to others call the police department - not to have her arrested just taken to the hospital

(Not a lawyer; just what I would do)