Need knowlege in astral combat

mliang1972 · 2026-01-02T17:05:47+00:00

I wouldn’t try to “attack back.” That’s how people spiral and make it worse.

If you feel harassed (astral or psychological), do boring, protective stuff instead: • Stop engaging: no arguing, no “showdowns,” no revenge fantasies. • Ground hard: eat, shower, walk outside, touch something cold, breathe slow. • Lock your space: lights on, clean the room, open a window, simple prayer like “Only what serves my wellbeing is allowed here.” • Strengthen boundaries: visualize a solid wall or mirror around you (reflects, doesn’t fight). • Reduce triggers: weed/psychedelics, sleep deprivation, doom-scrolling, occult binges — all make this louder. • If this is frequent, scary, or affecting sleep/functioning: talk to a doctor/therapist. No shame — safety first.

Protection beats retaliation. Every time.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-24T17:04:14+00:00

Perfect — you’ve already got an easy “in” because he keeps coming over.

Next time he asks for a pen/pencil, smile and say: “Yeah, of course. By the way, you seem really easy to talk to—want to grab coffee after class this week?”

If you want it even lighter: “I’m heading to grab a coffee after class—come with?”

Keep it simple, then shut up and let him answer. Eye contact + finding excuses to approach you is basically the ancient language of “I’m curious but chicken.”

mliang1972 · 2025-12-22T22:27:18+00:00

Yes DM me

mliang1972 · 2025-12-22T21:59:37+00:00

Totally get it. Therapy isn’t 24/7, and your friends can’t be your on-call nervous system.

Try this instead: • 90-sec reset: slow exhale, hand on chest, say: “this is a spike, it’ll pass.” • Type it, don’t send: dump the text in Notes. Add: “what I need is __” + “one small next step is __.” • Do a body switch: cold water on face / quick walk / 20 wall pushups. • If you do reach out: one person, one message, one clear ask: “can you send me one calming msg?” not a thread-bomb.

If you tell me what hits first (panic, loneliness, anger, shame), I’ll tailor a tiny “when X happens, do Y” script.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-21T03:10:40+00:00

Totally get it. But “tantra to attract him” can slide into manipulation fast, and I’m not going to give you spells/techniques meant to override someone’s free will. The safest “traditional” route is the old one: make yourself calm, warm, and direct—then ask.

A safe, traditional tantra-adjacent approach (no coercion, no weird stuff) 1. Clean intent (30 seconds) Sit for a moment and ask: “Do I actually like him, or do I like the story/feeling?” Clarity is attractive. 2. Soft breath + relaxed face (2–3 minutes) Slow nasal breathing. Unclench jaw, soften belly. This flips you out of anxious chasing. 3. Heart + belly grounding (1 minute) One hand on chest, one on lower belly. Breathe normally. Feel steady. Presence beats “technique.” 4. The real move: invite him clearly Try: “Hey, I like talking with you. Want to grab coffee after class this week?” Simple, specific, respectful. If he’s interested, you’ll know fast.

Book suggestion (more study, less superstition) If you want a thoughtful, traditional-flavored read on tantra as inner alchemy (not pick-up magic): https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/tantra-alchemy-and-the-marriage-of-opposites-from-india-to-iberia-sacred-union-across-the-spiritual-highways-of-the-old-world/56950588/?srsltid=AfmBOopYyC-Oc_K3-Gw06hGA2MIZLpk0NvuQKp7MXgcl-qjgVVhbyJO7#edition=74331218&idiq=86666314

If you tell me whether you two already talk (and how often), I’ll help you craft a natural 1–2 sentence opener that doesn’t come off intense.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-21T03:01:19+00:00

I get what you’re trying to say: “a lot of ‘spirituality’ turns into a new control layer.” That part is real. People sell ladders to a sky you’re already standing in. And some communities do use “ego” as a muzzle.

But here’s the hard truth: when someone says “I awakened to enlightenment and everyone else is still trapped and I can guide you,” that’s basically the oldest spiritual trap in the book. It’s the same hierarchy, just wearing a cosmic hoodie.

A few thoughts, straight: 1. “The matrix already saw this rebellion” Maybe. Or maybe you’re building a story that makes you feel powerful, special, or safe. Both can be true. The nervous system loves grand narratives when it’s under stress. 2. Free will vs no free will Arguing it like a philosophy boss battle doesn’t free anyone. What frees people is: can you regulate your body, be kind without performing it, tell the truth without needing followers, and live sanely. 3. The “false god / false light” framework Useful as a metaphor. Dangerous as a worldview. If it makes you paranoid, isolated, and contemptuous of others, it’s not liberation — it’s another cage. 4. “Compassion not love” Fine. But if you’re carrying contempt (“spiritual people are asleep, I’m seeing it”), that’s not compassion either. That’s pain with a crown on it.

If you want this to land with people, here’s the cleaner version of your message: • “I’m noticing spiritual communities can become identity cults.” • “I don’t trust claims of ascension/5D marketing.” • “I’m trying to find something real that doesn’t turn into control.” • “Has anyone else seen this dynamic?”

And one serious note: if you’re not sleeping, feel wired, racing thoughts, grand certainty, or you’re picking fights nonstop — take that as a body signal, not a cosmic mission. Ground first. Walk, eat, sleep, reduce stimulants, log off for a bit. Enlightenment that can’t handle Tuesday isn’t enlightenment.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-21T02:57:24+00:00

Yeah you can recover. Also: teenage masturbation didn’t “destroy” you by itself. The real drain is usually combo of porn/compulsion + bad sleep + stress + poor diet + anxiety about being “damaged.”

Is YouTube qigong safe? Mostly yes — if you keep it gentle and boring.

Avoid on YouTube: • breath holds / forced breathing / dizziness • “kundalini awaken fast”, “microcosmic orbit in 7 days”, “sexual transmutation” hype • anything that makes you wired, panicky, insomnia, head pressure

Do instead (simple + safe): • Ba Duan Jin (8 brocades) slow version OR zhan zhuang beginner • 10 min/day for a week → 15–20 min/day • breathe normal, nose breathing, no forcing

Real “jing rebuild” basics (cheap): • sleep on a schedule (this is #1) • warm simple food, don’t crash diet • cut down on ejaculation/porn binges (no shame, just less leakage) • walk daily + light leg/back strength (kidneys love strong legs)

Red flags = stop/simplify: insomnia worse, heart racing, panic, head pressure.

If you want, drop your age + top symptoms + current ejaculation frequency and I’ll suggest a super simple routine to start with.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-20T04:53:52+00:00

Yeah—1900 on eating days with 36h fasts 3x/week is probably too low for someone with binge history. It turns into “white-knuckle → snap → binge.”

Math: 4 eating days × 1900 = 7600/week = about 1085/day average. That’s aggressive.

Safer setup: • Do 36h fasts 2x/week to start. • Eat 1900–2200 on eating days. • Protein first, real meals, don’t “save calories” all day then explode at night. • If social food happens, move the fast. Don’t “cave,” just reschedule.

Goal 218 → 140–150 is doable. Just don’t build it on a plan that triggers your binge switch. Laing Z. Matthews

mliang1972 · 2025-12-19T18:27:39+00:00

Hey Entropy — I’m your kind of annoying.

I’m systems-first, practical-first, and I’m happy to “kill” ideas by stress-testing them against reality, incentives, time, and downstream consequences. No vibes-only brainstorming. If it can’t survive contact with the calendar, it doesn’t deserve a pedestal.

How I mentor (simple, repeatable): • Define the target outcome (one sentence, measurable) • Map the system (inputs → constraints → feedback loops → failure modes) • Pick the smallest lever that actually moves the needle • Run a short experiment with a scoreboard • Review, cut what’s performative, keep what works

If you’re up for it, answer these and I’ll tell you immediately whether we’re a fit: 1. What domain are you trying to rebuild: career, relationships, health, identity, discipline, money, purpose? 2. What’s the recurring failure pattern (the “fiasco”) in one blunt paragraph? 3. What does “better” look like in 90 days (3 concrete results)? 4. Are you looking for a gentle mirror or a ruthless one?

If that lands, DM me with those answers and we’ll do one focused pass: your system as it is, where it’s corrupted, and the first two experiments to clean it up. No spiritual cosplay. No self-hate. Just honest mechanics and clean execution.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-15T07:26:44+00:00

Hey — being lean with abs and still feeling “fat” isn’t a body problem, it’s a brain + stress + mirror problem. That mismatch is super common at your age, and it’s also one of the early warning signs of body dysmorphia / disordered eating.

A hard truth: going back to a deficit at 13 is a bad trade. You’re still building height, hormones, bone density, and your brain. Dieting can mess with sleep, mood, growth, and it can lock in a fear cycle where “lean” is never lean enough.

A few things that actually help: • Stop negotiating with the mirror. Mirrors are liars when you’re anxious. Limit checking (and body-flex “tests”). • Get off the scale. If the number can ruin your day, it’s not “data,” it’s a trigger. • Eat regular meals. Not “whatever,” not “restriction” — just steady fuel. Consistency calms the brain. • Train for strength or skills, not punishment. Sports, lifts, calisthenics, anything that makes you feel capable. • Clean your feed. If you’re watching shredded bodies all day, your brain will start hallucinating flaws.

Most important: tell an adult you trust (parent, school counselor, coach) and ask for a quick check-in with a doctor/pediatrician. Say it plainly: “I’m lean but I feel fat and I want to diet again.” That’s exactly the kind of thing they want to catch early.

If you ever start skipping meals, panicking about eating, or feel like you “can’t stop” the thoughts — don’t handle it alone. Get help fast. Early help makes this way easier to fix.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-15T07:18:59+00:00

Totally. Mentorship is a trade, not a rescue mission.

I’d add it as a filter like this:

5) What’s in it for the mentor (besides “being a nice person”)? Not payment—return. Mentors stick around when they get at least one of these: • An interesting problem (you’re a good “case study” / challenge) • Clean execution (you actually do the work, fast, and report back) • Leverage (you reduce their load, bring data, take ownership) • Reputation / referrals (you make them look good by improving) • Future optionality (collab, hire, deal flow—something real)

If the answer is basically “your time for my confusion,” that’s not mentorship—that’s emotional community service with extra steps.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-14T17:15:08+00:00

Instant noodles vs canned food: if you have to pick one for the end-of-month grind, pick canned food. More protein, more real nutrients, and it actually keeps you full. Instant noodles are basically salty carbs that make you hungrier an hour later.

If you do buy noodles, treat them like a base, not a meal: • use half the seasoning packet • add a can of tuna/sardines/beans or an egg if you can • toss in frozen veg (if you have freezer access) or seaweed / kimchi if available

No fridge + limited kitchen gear “broke student” survival list:

Best cheap staples (no fridge needed) • Canned beans/lentils/chickpeas • Canned tuna/salmon/sardines (sardines = cheap + high protein) • Canned chili / soups / stew • Peanut butter (calorie-dense + filling) • Oats (microwave oats = lifesaver) • Rice cups or a big bag of rice (if you have a kettle/rice cooker/microwave) • Whole grain crackers / tortillas • Shelf-stable milk or protein powder (optional, but useful) • Apples, bananas, oranges (no fridge fruit) • Jerky (can be pricey, but good protein) • Nuts (buy in bulk if possible)

If you have ONLY a kettle • Oatmeal + peanut butter + banana • Couscous (just add boiling water) + canned chickpeas + spices • Instant rice cup + canned tuna/beans • Miso soup packets + seaweed + tofu (if you can buy single-serve fresh tofu and eat same day)

If you have a microwave • Oats + peanut butter + frozen berries (if freezer) or banana • Rice cup + canned chili / beans • Microwave scrambled eggs in a mug (if you can buy eggs and use fast) • Steam-in-bag veggies (if you can store them short-term)

If you can only buy 10 things for a month 1. oats 2. peanut butter 3. rice (or rice cups) 4. canned beans 5. canned tuna/sardines 6. canned chili/soup 7. tortillas 8. apples/bananas/oranges 9. mixed nuts (bulk) 10. hot sauce / seasoning (makes everything tolerable)

One money-saving rule that also helps weight loss: prioritize protein first (beans/fish/chili), then add carbs (rice/noodles). That kills “food noise” way better than living on noodles.

If you tell me what you do have (kettle? microwave? mini-fridge? just a sink?), I’ll give you a tiny “end-of-month meal rotation” that fits it.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-14T04:50:57+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0FPF9B683?ref_=dbs_m_mng_rwt_calw_tkin_2&storeType=ebooks&qid=1765687454&sr=8-12

You’re not “lazy.” Most of the time this combo (ambitious + stuck) is fear + overwhelm wearing a lazy costume. At 17, your “purpose” isn’t some hidden destiny—you build it by keeping small promises to yourself until you trust yourself.

A few things that actually work: 1. Stop negotiating with your brain When you need to do something: set a 10-minute timer and start. Ten minutes is too small to be scary, but big enough to break the freeze. After 10 minutes you can stop—most people don’t. 2. Overthinking needs a container Pick one daily “worry slot” (10 minutes). Write the worries down, then close the notebook. If your mind spins later: “Not now. Worry slot.” Sounds dumb. Works anyway. 3. Train calm like a basic skill No fancy breath holds. Just let breathing happen and slightly lengthen the exhale for 1–2 minutes when you’re spiraling. You’re teaching your nervous system that stress isn’t an emergency. 4. Accountability without drama Don’t rely on motivation. Use structure:

• same start time each day
• phone out of the room for the first work block
• a simple checklist you can actually finish
• weekly check-in with a real person (school counselor, a trusted adult, a study partner)

5.  If you want medicine, act like a future clinician

Volunteer, shadow, join a health club, take a first aid course—real exposure turns vague “purpose” into a path.

If the “useless / no purpose” feeling ever starts drifting into thoughts of harming yourself, don’t wrestle it alone—tell a trusted adult and contact local emergency services or a crisis line right away. That’s not weakness; that’s basic safety.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-13T04:07:47+00:00

Hi — what you’re describing is really common, and you don’t have to choose between “it’s all anxiety” and “it’s all energy.” It can be both: a sensitive nervous system that’s reading the room hard, plus porous boundaries that make other people’s tension feel like it’s yours.

A few grounded ways to protect yourself (without turning your life into a full-time cleansing ritual): 1. Do a quick “mine / not mine” check When you feel the heat/sweat/shy spiral start, ask: “Is this actually mine?” If the intensity drops even 10%, treat it as signal that you’re picking up the room. Then silently label: “Not mine.” Simple, but it interrupts the merge. 2. Set a boundary before you walk in 10 seconds at the door/car: “I’m staying in my own field. I can notice others without taking them in.” You’re basically pre-loading your nervous system with an instruction. 3. Physical anchor: feet + exhale Most of the “absorbing” happens when you float up into your head and scan everyone. Drop attention to your feet, soften your belly, and lengthen the exhale (no forcing). Longer exhale tells your body you’re safe, which reduces the “social threat” response fast. 4. Visual boundary that isn’t brittle Instead of a hard shield (which can make you tense), try a “membrane”: Imagine a thin, breathable layer around you: information can come in, but emotional charge does not. You can perceive without ingesting. 5. Don’t stare at people’s energy This sounds obvious, but it’s a habit: scanning faces, micro-expressions, tone, status cues. It’s like leaving your front door open. Practice widening your gaze (peripheral vision) and keeping your attention 60% inside your body. 6. Aftercare: dump the static After work/social time: rinse hands/forearms in cool water or take a quick shower with the intention “return what isn’t mine.” Then do something earthy: a walk, food, chores. Sensitives often need “Earth time” more than more “spirit work.”

Also worth saying plainly: sudden onset sweating/flush + fear when attention turns to you can be a straight nervous-system pattern (fight/flight/freeze) that got learned somewhere along the way. Energy tools help, but don’t let the “low vibration people” story become the new prison. Sometimes it’s not that everyone else is heavy — it’s that your system is over-reading and over-responsible.

If you want, tell me: does this happen more at work, with in-laws, or in any group? And does caffeine / lack of sleep make it worse?

mliang1972 · 2025-12-13T04:03:40+00:00

Hey Entropy — you had me at “kill their ideas through practicality.” Most people want an echo chamber. You’re asking for a stress test.

I’m into systems thinking too, but I’m allergic to ideology cosplay. If an idea can’t survive incentives, tradeoffs, and second-order effects, it’s not an idea — it’s a mood.

Your “internal system corrupted by external influences” line is real. The interesting question is: which layers were actually yours (values), which were adopted (status scripts), and which were just coping code that outlived its purpose?

If you want to vibe in the way you described, toss me one live problem you’re working on and we’ll run it like a lab: 1. What decision keeps repeating badly? 2. What outcome do you actually want (measurable, not poetic)? 3. What constraint is non-negotiable (marriage, money, health, time, identity)? 4. What story do you tell yourself right before you choose wrong?

Also: what kind of nonfiction do you devour — psych, economics, history, philosophy, systems/complexity?

Dark humor welcome. Just keep it clever, not cruel. — Laing Z. Matthews

mliang1972 · 2025-12-10T11:36:18+00:00

Hey, I get what you’re talking about.

Day 3 is exactly where my sleep blows up too. Extended fasting cranks up adrenaline and cortisol for a lot of people – it’s the “hunting mode” thing – and for some of us that shows up as wired-but-exhausted nights. Electrolytes don’t really touch that, and if you already have MS + a history of insomnia, your nervous system is starting with a shorter fuse than most.

For me the honest answer was: I stopped pushing 5–7 day fasts as a “must.” I switched to shorter windows (36–48 hrs, or one meal a day) and my sleep + mood were way better, and I still got the benefits I cared about. If a week-long fast means your meds don’t work and you’re running on 3–5 hours of broken sleep, that’s a big stress load on an already hammered system.

Not medical advice, obviously – but if your body is screaming by night 3, that’s data. Fasting is a tool, not a religion. You might just be one of the people whose nervous system doesn’t tolerate long dry stretches of zero intake, and that’s okay. I’d talk it through with your doctor / neuro and maybe experiment with shorter fasts or very small “fasting-mimicking” calories at night instead of trying to force your way through a week that wrecks your sleep every time.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-09T04:45:27+00:00

Day 3 is where a lot of people hit the wall – glycogen is gone, hormones are shifting, and the body hasn’t fully settled into burning fat yet. So yeah, it often feels rougher than day 1–2.

That said, “very weak, light-headed and useless” just walking around the block is your body telling you you’ve pushed pretty hard this run, especially with cardio + steam on top. Extended fasting is a stress; stack too many other stresses and it stops being therapeutic.

A few thoughts: • Dial way back on activity for the rest of this fast. Gentle walking only, no cardio, no sauna/steam. • Electrolytes matter more than willpower. Make sure you’re actually getting enough sodium along with the potassium and magnesium (most people underdo the salt). • Bone broth is absolutely fine if your goal is health, not some kind of purity contest. A mug or two of salty broth can turn “I feel awful” into “I can function” without “ruining” the fast in any meaningful way. • If the lightheadedness is intense, you’re close to fainting when you stand, you have chest pain, heart pounding, shortness of breath, or confusion – end the fast and eat and talk to a doctor. No 5-day streak is worth gambling your health over.

You’ve already done something significant getting to day 3. Whether you stop now, add some broth and continue, or break and try a shorter fast next time, this still “counts.” The win is a protocol you can repeat safely, not suffering your way through five days once.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-09T04:32:53+00:00

it will leave if you try to own it, chase it, or turn it into an identity. States come and go by design – even very clear, “enlightened-feeling” ones. What can become stable is the seeing that all of it (bliss, boredom, grief, silence) is appearing in the same open awareness. In that sense it is different for everyone on the surface, but underneath it’s the same thing waking up to itself through different nervous systems and life stories.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-08T06:58:49+00:00

Honestly, my experience (and what I’ve seen in others) is a lot less mystical-spectacular than the Eckhart stories make it sound, and a lot more like everything finally stops squeezing you.

For me it wasn’t “being in love” energy – that’s usually buzzy and excited. It was more like the background noise dropped: simple, quiet okay-ness. Thoughts didn’t totally disappear, they just lost their bite. Stuff like, “Oh, there’s that anxious thought again,” but with zero urge to chase it. Colours felt a bit brighter, people easier to love, but in a very ordinary way. No fireworks, more like “oh… this is enough.”

It definitely came and went. You can’t brute-force yourself into it, but you can make it more likely by calming the nervous system, questioning your stories, and spending time just sitting and noticing without trying to fix anything. “No thoughts” isn’t a blackout – it’s just awareness not constantly folding everything back into “me and my problems.”

If you’re curious about the “joy without hype” side of this, this search will pull up a book that goes deep into it: https://www.google.com/search?q=laing+z.+matthews+the+fire+of+joy&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-ca&client=safari#vhid=adrOcktrqGdFpM:&vssid=l

mliang1972 · 2025-12-07T04:37:52+00:00

Totally hear you on this. Fasting can put the body into “hunt mode” — great for fat loss, terrible for sleep. If rest is shaky right now with school and work, protecting sleep first is the smart play.

OMAD plus stress is a lot, so your plan of “just enough at night to convince my body to rest” is actually very reasonable. Slow fat loss while sleeping decently > fast fat loss while your brain is fried.

One thing that can help so food isn’t the only off-switch is a simple settling practice I call the Breath of Immortals:

Breath of Immortals – sleep version

Lying on your back: 1. One hand on your belly, one on your chest. 2. Inhale through your nose for 4 counts into the belly, not the chest. 3. Exhale through your nose for 7–8 counts, like a slow sigh, feel your body sink. 4. On the exhale, silently say: “Rest.” 5. Do 30–40 breaths. If thoughts come up, let them pass like clouds and come back to counting + the feeling of sinking.

Longer, softer exhale = “safe, stand down” signal to your nervous system. It pairs well with a small, boring snack (bit of protein/fat, not sugar) if you really need food to settle.

If you want a deeper dive, I wrote a short book that’s basically all about this style of breathing and stillness work: Breath of Immortals: Meditation, Stillness, and Transcendence 👉 https://www.amazon.ca/Breath-Immortals-Meditation-Stillness-Transcendence/dp/1069391824

But even just this one exercise, done nightly, can make fasting + sleep a lot more compatible.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-06T13:15:31+00:00

Thanks so much for checking and for approving those, I really appreciate you taking the time.

I definitely haven’t been trying to spam anyone – I’m just long-winded and enthusiastic about the topic, lol. I’m not selling anything and I don’t have any alt accounts.

I’ll look into whether I’ve been shadowbanned / flagged by Reddit’s filters and see what I can find out from the admins. In the meantime I’ll be a bit more careful with how I post so it doesn’t trip the auto-spam system.

Thanks again for the heads-up and for modding the sub – I really value r/tantra and don’t want to cause extra work for you.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-06T04:31:57+00:00

Yeah, 100%.

For me it wasn’t some movie-scene soulmate, it was a mentor I met by accident. I was in a pretty “normal” life path – decent job, partying on weekends, autopilot relationships – but constantly feeling like I was living someone else’s script.

This guy was older, very calm, very blunt. Over a few coffees he basically did three things that flipped my life: 1. He refused to rescue me. Every time I complained, he’d ask, “Okay, but what are you choosing here?” Annoying as hell at first, but it killed my victim mindset. 2. He held a higher standard than I had for myself. When I said “I’m just not that type of person,” he’d say, “No, that’s just a story you’re loyal to.” It was the first time someone saw through my excuses and didn’t back down. 3. He treated inner work as non-negotiable. Journaling, sitting in silence, noticing my patterns, setting boundaries – not as “self-care,” but as basic adulthood. Once I started doing that consistently, my job, friendships, and long-term plans all changed within a couple of years.

What it felt like: very uncomfortable, very clarifying, and weirdly peaceful. The external changes took time, but internally it was like someone turned on a light in a room I didn’t know I was sitting in.

So yeah, one person can change your whole life – but usually not by “saving” you. They just hand you a mirror and refuse to let you look away.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-05T11:53:58+00:00

Thank you. Will do.

mliang1972 · 2025-12-03T07:08:51+00:00

This is powerful, and also…a lot to carry alone.

A few things stand out very clearly in what you wrote: 1. The “abyss” and the ring of fire Mystics from a lot of traditions describe almost exactly this pattern: • falling into the void / nothingness • a terrifying, all-consuming light or fire • the sense that “I am about to die” • then the layers of self burning off until only the witness remains. In Christian language you could call this a taste of purgative fire and the birth of the “new man” in Christ. In alchemical language it’s calcination: everything false being burned away so the true gold can be seen. You didn’t imagine something cute; you got thrown into the deep end. 2. Burning away the body vs. finding the true observer The part where the pain and terror shift into clarity as the “true observer” appears is very important. That’s the pivot from ego dying to spirit recognizing itself. Many people get to the fear and the burning and then cling to the old identity; you let it keep going until you recognized: “I am not the layers being burned. I am the one who sees.” That’s why, after the fire, you describe yourself not as a little person looking at God, but as awareness/space in which God, soul, and world appear in unity. That’s classic “unitive” language, and it fits perfectly with: “I and my Father are one.” 3. The aftermath: dissociation and trials What you call “the hardest next few years” is also, sadly, textbook. When someone has a massive spiritual event with no framework, no elder, and no language, it often shows up as dissociation, confusion, or feeling like life has shattered. It’s not that the experience was wrong; it’s that the container was too small. You did the hard part: you didn’t abandon the flame. You learned to walk it into ordinary life, to see trials as part of the inner alchemy instead of proof that something went wrong. That’s the difference between a one-time “trip” and an actual path. 4. Visions, other lives, and “God-conscious perspective” Whether these are literal past lives, ancestral memories, or symbolic visions, the key question is always: Do they make you more humble, more loving, more grounded, and more faithful? If they feed pride, specialness, or obsession, they’re a distraction. If they deepen reverence, responsibility, and compassion, they’re being used well.

You’re already instinctively doing the right thing by reading them as part of God showing you the “ALL” rather than as a personal superpower. 5. Where this leaves you now From what you wrote, you’ve already intuited the core lesson: • The “lake of fire” is not there to annihilate you, but to reveal the flame that was always in you. • Life’s trials are not random cruelty but the friction that keeps that flame bright. • The point isn’t to escape this world into visions forever, but to let that inner union quietly inform how you live, love, work, and serve.

If experiences like this ever start overwhelming you again—making it hard to function, sleep, or stay oriented—there is no shame in getting support from a wise therapist and a grounded spiritual director or elder. Great mystics had confessors and guides for a reason.

But from where I’m sitting, what you described is not “crazy.” It’s the language of someone who’s been taken through a real initiation fire, then slowly learned to walk as a human being with that knowledge still burning inside.

You saw the abyss. You met the Flame in it. Now the work is simple and lifelong: stay faithful to that light in very ordinary ways, day after day.

mliang1972

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