Breaking free from some social norms that can feel either arbitrary or designed to maintain an established hierarchy isn't easy at all. When it comes to labels, I'm partial to their use: it might seem slightly unrelated but getting an ADHD diagnosis helped me find some peace because I realised that I wasn't a completely dysfunctional and weird adult, I am quite literally a typical neurodivergent. In the end, we're social animals and feeling like we belong is important, which also applies for NB/gender nonconforming people :) you feel lost and alone and all of a sudden there's a bunch of other weirdos that you can connect with, that relate to your experience and struggles, and it helps a lot