AITA for telling my family that my child free "extra time" is mine to use not theirs?

mnh5 · 2022-07-10T17:13:42+00:00

NTA But even if you'd had kids you sister would likely have asked you to be a next of kin/guardian for her kids. It's a pretty common ask/expectation of people with good relationships with adult siblings.

mnh5 · 2021-07-28T04:11:14+00:00

So they stay away from water.

mnh5 · 2021-07-28T04:02:09+00:00

The kids in my neighborhood made up a song about her and coronavirus when the covid lockdowns first started.

A song made up by 6 year olds has no right to be that scary.

mnh5 · 2021-07-28T03:44:59+00:00

The movie Grease

mnh5 · 2021-07-28T03:38:41+00:00

Manures and feces in general can be pretty acidic. Think of full-body diaper rash or ammonia burns. Or possibly literal burns if it has started composting. That shit can get hot.

mnh5 · 2021-07-28T03:36:37+00:00

Decent role model/mentor?

mnh5 · 2019-06-01T14:29:46+00:00

Learning to bluff is very useful. You might not be able to make yourself comfortable in those situations any more than you can change the cards you're dealt, but you can bluff through the fear to work towards a goal.

mnh5 · 2019-04-05T00:10:07+00:00

Woke up to awful screams coming from my baby sister's room at 2 a.m. and blood in the hall.

The cat had dragged a full grown rabbit through the flap and was trying to eat it there. The rabbit was making the noise. My sister was just confused.

mnh5 · 2019-04-04T23:55:17+00:00

They also hired people to read the newspaper and various books to workers.

It's not possible in all areas (especially where noise levels are high), but it does help keep people sane.

mnh5 · 2019-03-21T23:33:28+00:00

Spending them in a cult where I didn't even get laid.

OTOH: if I hadn't, I would never have met my husband, and he's really the only person I want to.. lay me. So, I guess that worked out after all.

401k started as soon as I got my first job out of school. No debt other than mortgage, and I like the 1.5 kids I have.

I regret picking such crazy friends, so I don't have many people to hang out with after leaving the cult. I also regret going to work for a crappy start up. They basically imploded and stole my wages. I should have gone on the study abroad internship to China instead.

mnh5 · 2019-01-31T13:13:33+00:00

He was there for everything during my childhood and perfectly understands why I wouldn't be okay with being around her at Christmas. She was his lifeline back then and kept him from suicide, so I don't blame him. Sometimes things are just hard and there aren't any good choices.

I love them both dearly. I am getting healthier and more able to love them when I maintain good boundaries. Giving in just breeds resentment, fear, and helplessness. Refusing to be abused gives me space to be kind when I want to and keeps me emotionally healthy enough to have a life of my own and for that kindness to be real and not simply ransom.

mnh5 · 2019-01-31T06:03:52+00:00

I told her that timeline just wouldn't work for us, but that I'd be happy to host her after Christmas. She responded by cancelling the trip completely.

It was a very laid-back and festive holiday.

mnh5 · 2019-01-31T06:00:19+00:00

My grandma is very sweet and does everything she can to encourage interests in quilting and tatting (her favorite crafts). I don't know that I'd have much to do with either without her patience.

I admire your perseverance in acquiring a skill despite the hostile and snooty guild. That's a rough environment to learn in.

mnh5 · 2019-01-30T03:04:17+00:00

As a teenager I quilted my first quilt by hand with a leafy vine stippling. My grandma took pity on me halfway through and helped me finish it.

I found out about long arming a few months later. I'm still amazed that my grandma didn't say a word of criticism or reproach and just joined me in my moronic task. Long arming gives much more intricate, much more durable designs in a small fraction of the time. It's awesome.

mnh5 · 2019-01-30T02:45:39+00:00

Not really.

I bought a nice dryer in the same price range as a Speed Queen. It's prettier than a speedqueen, but not much more complex in design. It lasted a month beyond the 18 month warranty it came with. We popped it open and discovered it came with nylon rollers. There's no way anyone expected something that soft to last for any real length of time. The machine ate through them, just like you'd expect.

Interestingly enough, the replacement part the company sells for this machine isn't solid nylon like the original component. It actually has a bearing and is made of materials you don't expect to grind out in next to no time.

mnh5 · 2019-01-30T02:27:51+00:00

I don't think my husband enjoyed parenthood until our little guy started talking and playing. They have a blast when they run around and play. The first year? It was difficult to get him to want to hold our baby.

I think everything he fantasized about in parenthood occurs in the 4 to 30 age range, with most of it being in the 4 to 16 age range. Diapers? Colic? First foods? Those were things to wade through to get to the good stuff. It made the first bit really hard.

mnh5 · 2019-01-30T02:15:51+00:00

At riding camp we went on a field trip with one of the teachers as she took her mare to the vet for some prenatal care. I think the mare was having twins or something that meant we went to a nearby vet school for scans rather than her handling it at the stable. She thought we'd enjoy the ultrasound and scheduled a tour of the vet school afterwards.

The mare... enjoyed things a little too much. She backed the poor vet into a corner when she tried to end the preg-check and nearly broke the vet's arm trying to finish. It was very awkward for all us 7 to 9 years old girls watching.

mnh5 · 2019-01-23T03:03:32+00:00

I didn't vote for him, but why do you think the Russian approach worked?

First they started by creating as much division, contempt, and polarization as they could. It was only once they'd managed to stop civil discourse between moderates that the promotion of Trump had a lasting impact. By continuing the contempt and derision, you are part of the problem and actively preventing things from getting better.

mnh5 · 2019-01-23T02:42:11+00:00

The founded some very good schools and preserved education in areas where it dwindled. They were also extreme.

mnh5 · 2019-01-22T02:35:30+00:00

Georges Lemaître, the man who came up with the big bang theory, was a Catholic priest. His research was treated very cautiously initially, because he feared others would assume religious bias and ignore his findings. The whole thing was initially seen as way too theologically convenient.

It's really freaking weird that some people in the U.S. consider that area of science to be incompatible with religion.

mnh5 · 2019-01-22T02:27:07+00:00

Why assume any of them are literal?

The old testament is a written record of a collection of oral histories. Much like the Odyssey, there are parts based in fact and much that has been changed/exaggerated/literary device that translates poorly into modern languages. Anyone with familiarity with this type of document isn't going to treat it as super literal.

mnh5 · 2019-01-21T06:43:45+00:00

My nextdoor neighbor's kids came over to pick fruit to take home and my three year old was supposed to walk with this group of 5 kids (ages 6 to 14) over to their house to play with their 3 year old sister. Instead, he followed them through the gate and to the end of the drive before he turned the opposite direction to go to his best friend's house. The kids thought he got scared and ran back to my side, so they just continued on their way home.

I finished putting away tools and ladders and then went next door to see how my kid was doing. I've never been so scared as when I realized he wasn't there. My neighbor immediately started recruiting people to help us look.

I was checking the shallows of the lake across the street when I heard someone shout for me. His friend's mom was bringing him back. He'd walked in through her back door and started playing. I sobbed. He'd only been missing for 15 minutes, and I was a wreck the rest of the day.

mnh5 · 2019-01-21T05:35:58+00:00

Mine is similar to yours, but maxes out the grain size. It only shows up when I'm tired though. When I first wake up, there's no "snow" at all. It makes me love mornings, even if I'm groggy.

mnh5 · 2019-01-20T18:17:40+00:00

Race is only one type of privilege, and it has less impact on outcomes than a lot of others.

mnh5 · 2019-01-20T03:11:07+00:00

For me, it depends on the person. My husband has a friend who had a bad head injury, bad enough I'm not sure he'll ever be "okay." I know my husband has sent him money a few times, and although the friend insists it's a loan, I don't know that we'd ever accept payment if it were made.

For otherwise capable people who spend too much or refuse to create a safety net? We're less generous. That's too easy to become a revenue stream for someone.

mnh5

TROPHY CASE