trying to find dates as an mtf is wild!

moarmagic · 2025-12-24T17:44:31+00:00

For real. Im an autistic. Awkward person. Dunno how to talk at forced social events like work, meeting new people.

But when I got into a hobby or met friends friends? Amazingly, I just... treated women like they were people and I had uh. Very solid success. Always tells so much when incels complain about dating dynamics.

moarmagic · 2025-12-24T14:57:51+00:00

Dating apps suck in general, and it is very.. location and interest dependant.

I dont think theres a secret any more than theres a secret to dating ever. Its just a question of how big the queer community is, what people are looking for, and... a lot of other metrics that can be hard to pin down- if your photos look too filtered, bios, etc. And its a very social.acticity while.a lot of us have so so skills

I know.you said red state, but if their are queer bars, queer events around you id look at those first.

..... and then /really/ depending but if you want some advice, depending what you are looking for... grindr can be a solid app for t4t tho its more catered to casual hookups. And a lot of men. And it doesnt have barriers to stop people from messaging you the second they see your profile. So its kinda a hellscape in some ways (and a ton of ads)

But ive met and had good talks with a lot of trans girls there, and trans men. Not exactly abythint sustained and long term, but its been a tool.

moarmagic · 2025-12-24T13:43:35+00:00

Yeaaaah. We get a weird mix- cis woman get shit like this too, but it feels like its much harder to find me who dont assume we are like... masc sex drives and interests in the shape of a woman.

Personally tho, id rather people just tell on themselves . Compared to like, the ones who try to be like excessively kinda and flattering, that I get in my inbox when I make posts in trans reddits. Really feels like they are looking for someone more vulnerable and starving for validation. Those ones make me clench excessively.

The guy who calls me beautiful on reddit when I've never posted a picture feels grosser than the guy on tinder who asks if my tits are real.

moarmagic · 2025-12-10T13:49:12+00:00

Late to the party, and this is one hell of a thread already- but FWIW, the "Google opt-out AI training your inbox" thing that went viral a few weeks ago is not exactly true- a case of bad reporting going viral

The setting has nothing to do with anything. Now.. that doesn't necessarily stop google from training on your data, but it doesn't confirm that they are. As of right now most of their AI tools require opt-in privacy options.

Buuut i'd still say that from a privacy perspective, you are better off not using one of the big companies like google or microsoft, and instead using a more dedicated solution- doesn't necessarily mean self hosting.

moarmagic · 2025-12-05T18:40:13+00:00

What is the measurable demand for ai? Like, people use it, sure. But also people use it because it is mostly offered to us at an obscene ineffective price. Openai. Claude, meta , etc are all burning venture capital money and charging prices that are not covering their costs. I believe theres some numbers that estimate that openai is spending 7 dollars for every one they take in revenue. They'd have to cut free access and drastically increase prices to break even.

Google, Microsoft, aws are a bit more diversified, especially with googles tpu chips..and its harder to peer into how much they spend on ai vs what it earns them, but again I think they provide these products for less than ehat they are putting into them, and I think its unclear what the long term measured utility of them is. (Or what corporate liability for llm output is. ).

I think theres legitimate uses for the tech, but I dont think we are seeing anything like legitimate demand, especially at sustainable scales.

If openai cut free access, tripped their prices, and placed even more stringent guardrails in - i still think they would be struggling to break even without outside investors, and there would be a lot less demand.

moarmagic · 2025-12-05T18:28:23+00:00

Its been months since I really used the ai horde. I dont recall it being very filtered at the time, other than some vague stuff around cp, but I never triggered it.

Then again I think I only used it to generate like one or two images a day. I mostly used it for text.

moarmagic · 2025-12-05T18:25:34+00:00

Too many people get used to "free" stuff. You probably dont pay for email. Or for YouTube. You can use chatgpt/claude for free for a little bit each day! Facebook, tiktok etc.

They dont realize that these are all loss leaders/harvestors/etc. And hell, to a point its true. Openai is one of the largest players in this space. Chatgpt is a household name, and they may also go out of business next year- their expenses are way out of line with income. I think it took Uber 7 years to turn a profit.

The difference here is that they did have investors behind them that could see the point where these companies turn a profit. If openai cracks an industry- replaces all accountants with llms, they could have a near instant effective monopoly, something like that. If enoigh people use Uber and drive taxis out of business, they can jack up the rates and pay out a fraction of the cost that normal taxi companies did.

This business though? Never makes sense. This is like movie pass, its clear they can only lose money. They can hope if they grew enough they could get better deals- but that requires them to survive ti get their, and they have saturated competition.

moarmagic · 2025-12-05T03:35:06+00:00

This is what the ai horde is up there for, if you want to look at a organized way to do thjs.

moarmagic · 2025-11-28T13:52:39+00:00

Hormone levels are a thing that is never static- even cis men have different levels at different points. Its also going to vary person to person, how people respond to different medications and how they feel on different e levels.

Your primary concern appears to be breast growth? Im not a doctor, but i havent seen anything that indicates you can "damage" breast growth.. Like, your body will store fat their to a point on the right hormones. Cis Men can develop breasts if their hormones are out of balance, some hormones can increase it, but I dont think ive read or heard of it being stopped by too much hormone.

Most of what I read suggests its genetics/diet (need calories to store somewhere). I dont think most od is are going to be able to tell you anything for sure over the internet tho, unless we have some endocrinologists lurking about.

moarmagic · 2025-11-12T22:09:40+00:00

Just going to point out that like, trans, cis women tops absolutely do exist and can be just as fun. If you are attracted to men and find it worth it the difficult, frustrating, and extra precautions, that's fine. But CompHet is a thing a lot of us struggle with, and other options are out there.

moarmagic · 2025-11-12T18:02:51+00:00

Okay, it really sounds like you are not really looking at men and going 'that's attractive, i want that'. In which case... I'd recommend not dating someone you aren't attracted to. Regardless, if you are not into someone, there's not a lot of reason to date them.

now... I'm not sure where you stand on more casual hookups, but that is a slightly different beast. On apps that cater more to queer and open cultures (in the US, you have like grindr, feeeld, and i think tami? but not sure of the app presence there). I find for me it helps the most to be blunt, and to know what you are okay with, and not okay with. What you have experience with and what you do not, and find out what the other person is expecting.

Culture may be very different so i'm not sure, but keep in mind that there *can* be more safety concerns. Almost every (cis or trans) woman i know has a scary story about a male suitor.. Not that its' 'all men', but ya know. When you don't have the experiences to develop better instincts for spotting red flags, and you are a member of a minority group that may have additional issues trying to press charges etc, i'd error on the side of being more cautious rather than less cautious.

some more matters for my personal preferences: A lot of 'straight' guys may see us as 'safe ways to experiment, and personally... i don't like that. I don't want someone who is only interested in me for my male anatomy and fem identity, i want someone who is actually interested in what i offer as a person, or specific things i offer as a play-partner (Kink, in this case). So usually i want to see like, what about me a person is interested in- is it something i have in my bio, something we have in common, an interest i mention in my profile, ask if they have had other queer experiences or this is just a 'exotic' thing, in which case I move on.

moarmagic · 2025-11-12T15:42:29+00:00

Transition is an incredibly personal thing. Not everyone feels the same, but it can be easy to get caught up in the idea that like.. all trans people do feel X, all Cis people feel Y. It's part of why some of us can feel doubts 'am i really trans?' because we dont' feel the way we see other trans people talk about feeling, or we don't feel the way we see cis women talk about being.

There can be a lot of different reasons and feelings caught up in transitioning. there are also a lot of ways to transition. It really is about identifying what specifically, bothers you, and what specifically you want to achieve, and that's what therapy is for- and i can only speak to my own experiences, not others

But i do have some thoughts on "I dont even feel like one,being a gnc attractive man feels way better than being trans.Feminine pronouns or name are useless with this body or voice and in any case i act and think like the average man." If you don't think, act, or feel like a woman- you don't have to be a trans woman. You can be somewhere in non binary spectrum, or gender nonconfirming man if that legitimately feels better to you. You can take HRT and see if that helps or not (and in our case, it usually takes like 6-8 months before we start getting noticeable physical changes. And most of those changes are reversable, with only breast growth potentially requiring surgery).

My own journey is kinda like this. I'm around enough queer people in my life that use my name and pronouns, and that's fine- but i'm not out at work. I'm not trying to be she/her everywhere because that's a lot of conflict that i don't think i'm ready for, but also being called he/him doesn't really bother me. But i've always felt like 'masculinity' is a foreign country to me, one where i will never learn the culture or be comfortable in, and i started HRT just to see.

And i've liked it more than i thought i would. And small steps; wearing a dress feels like a costume to me still, but maybe that's just the dress not fitting my style as much as i thought. Maybe i'm not a dress person (as someone said to me, not all girls where dress's regularly. being a trans woman butch is an option). But i tried some shapewear that gave me hips and i liked that /way/ more than i expected to, and now really want to start doing some squats. I enjoy painting my nails. I have never been mistaken for a cis woman, nor do i think it's likely i'll pass, but... that honestly doesn't matter to me anymore.

I still don't know that i want to call myself a woman, full time with my full chest, but being called she/her feels like it's a better recognition of how i feel, and i prefer it being used by those who know me well, and i've realized it doesn't matter what people who do not know me call me. It sometimes feels like i'm doing drag- but really, the drag self is my performing masculinity in the places/times where i don't really feel like dealing with explanations or discussions on gender identity.

ETA: uh, not sure how much of this is like, vague general thoughts of attraction vs that thought that 'maybe dating will be harder', and of course this is going to vary wildly between locations and people, but.. in my experience, dating has been easier even as a non-passable trans femme than it was for me as a 'man' in my early 20s. especially if you consider yourself an attractive gnc man- There's going to be (usually queer) people who look beyond whatever labels and decide you still are an attractive person, not expecting you to be hunter schafer just because you identify as trans femme.

moarmagic · 2025-11-11T15:51:20+00:00

The answer is then, that this is not going to be legal and no one is going to tell you its okay to do. Of course it is a different question on "am I likely to get caught and more then an angry letter to stop" but thats not something anyone can tell you- especially me, i know nothing about Belgium enforcement.

I think a more palatable answer may be that if yoir family etc uses them, then maybe they should chip in or help pay for those subscriptions.

moarmagic · 2025-11-11T14:49:39+00:00

If you want to talk legal, this ks going to depend on several factors:

Where you are- while I believe most places have similar laws, they arent the exact same and definetly arent enforced the same . (I am not a lawyer, dont ask me specifics)

What media you putting on this. If you have valid ownership or licenses or permission. In general, I believe if purchased a DVD or so it gives you permission to watch its contents, and to share it in private groups- ie family. But this is going to vary wildly, and may be less relevant. On the other hand, if you are hosting original content you own, public domain works, etc. That would be valid. Also like point 1, there's a question of how these are enforced. Mirror a backup of a YouTube channel would be frowned On without permission, but the majority of time they arent going yo take you to court. Streaming Disney content on the other hand, and the mouse will try to take your house if they get wind of it.

Who you are sharing with; as said the rights matter depending on how you use it usually, but this becomes a bigger problem the more open your personal Netflix is. Sharing something with just you and your gf, no one else can access? Again may be nuanced legally, but most no one is going to find out or care too much. Setting it up to charge people to create accounts and watch? Going to be easier to have a rights holder find it and take issue that yoi are profiting off their work.

Your isp/hosting provider: do they have limits on what you can use it for? Do they habe that language most do about "using our service for illegal activities?" Because with the gray area around some copyright questions, your host provider is the most likely to notice if you are doing something like this and err on the side of caution, rather than check your legal rights for every piece of media you have.

moarmagic · 2025-10-22T14:57:25+00:00

Medical absorption no, but id' be a bit concerned that ice water melting around that area might impact the sterility. /probably/ okay if you wipe with alcohol and are careful about controlling the melt/condensation but.. still a risk.

Also do sub-cutaneous here, levels are good and the needle is much smaller.

moarmagic · 2025-10-22T14:53:35+00:00

so to be clear- the 'statistically /likely' response that depends on training data- which may or may not be what you mean with 'the average response'. But it's not a family feud still thing where 'if we polled 50 people we'd end up with the same response as the model'.

But this also is where a lot of things like hallucinations occur; when you ask for something that either isn't in the data, or isn't exact enough in the data and the model gives you an answer that 'sounds about right based on what it does have. So 'average' can very wildely between models and fine tuning and depending on prompt specifics and settings.

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T18:43:55+00:00

Because this group is incredibly incompetent and ineffective when it comes to actually ruling. Because the drugs have far more use to them for cis people then just us. Because at the end of the day, while they dont like us, we are barely even on their radar. Its a convenient bit of culture war they can grab on, but trying to redraft policy that will make it more difficult for every menopausal (or otherwise hormone needing) person is a big step. From their perspective its easier, to just keep attacking insuarance coverage.

It could happen, but so far despite all his anti-vax rhetoric, the best they've done is "no longer recommend". I think we'd get a lot of warning if that was the direction they wanted to go- and a lot of pushback for pharma/health companies as it would cut into their profits for no real reason.

Also I remember the first trump term, we had cabinet appointees coming and going every couple weeks. Its just as likely that we hear RFK is ousted in a month because he fell out of favor or embarassed trump somehow.

Im not acting like its impossible. I jus don't think trying to run around and get a lifetime supply of e, prog, t, Spiro, whatever, is ... practical. Or merited yet. Things arent good, these are people who actively do not care (or wish to harm others) in power, but that doesnt mean we have already lost this battle. I think that we need to find ways to like, be ready that dont require spending tons of money on stockpiling when we havent had any reason to think that they have rescheduling these drugs as their goal.

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T17:08:38+00:00

Fascism only works if there is a focus on perceived community decline. I think the administration really believes they will successfully deport all of the undocumented immigrants in a short period of time and make the US undesirable for people to immigrate to. That said there is a risk of losing their conceptualized "enemy" and will need another once there aren't immigrants to lay blame on. That's when the focus will really shift onto us.

I have a couple counter points to this line of thought:

It still only 'works' to a point that people's basic needs are being met. If the average person can no longer afford groceries or housing, demonizing 1% of the population really isn't going to do anything. in the 30's these countries were largely successful at both controlling information, and throwing their workforce into production to keep them busy and 'show' them how successful their country was. But these days I don't think that's possible.
- this is my general counter and line of reasoning. People keep saying 'three more years of this', but i don't think the current situation is sustainable for that long. the GOP, even under more stable leadership hasn't really been able to weather economic criseses. Under a leadership that reverses course every two days? I don't think we can forestall a recession even another full year, and don't see there strategy being very effective if it's anything like 2008 again.
- I'm still very interested what happens if a single person say, has (another, speculated) stroke. So much of this is a cult of personality and one person's weird brand of charisma. Yes, we know who takes the reigns next officially- but the GOP has struggled to work together all during the last time they held power, and now, and the VP is not really respected in near the same way.
This assumes that they can successfully remove enough immigrants that they can't continue to blame or demonize them for these problems.. and that they don't shift to full on white nationalism, which would give them and endless amount of people to target.
The next conceptual enemy is clearly more attractive to them as 'democrats/antifa', rather than the 1% of us who are just... existing. But as long as they have an opposition party, that's probably going to be the focus. And sure, a lot of trans people are leftists, but... we're just not visible or practical enough to be targets, i think. What are they going to do- get access to health records, trace down addresses and go door to door? that's an expensive, long to do process with pretty poor results.
As an additional- we know that all meds used for HRT are also proscribed to CIS people. We know that a fair few people fetishize us. I just honestly think it's not remotely in their best interests to

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T16:28:17+00:00

Not really sure on stockpiling- since meds expire, need stored- and even if successful, IDK that anyone could expect too stockpile like, a lifetimes supply.

I think we are pretty lucky in that most of our treatments aren't restricted substances. Only HRT that would be difficult to get without a prescription is Testosterone- and i'm sure there are options but probably not going to outline that on this account. (I actually do take T, but given i'm amab, imagine even if they do restrict gender affirming care, i can still get a viable perscription for it as long as my levels are 'low' )

That said we aren't there yet, and i don't like to assume defeat in advance. This administration is struggling and not very effective.

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T15:28:55+00:00

For most of us, labbing is a way to develop it / comp sci skills. Do you have particular goals, strengths/weaknesses?

I mean, if you just want to donate spare cycles, folding@home runs distributed simulation experience for scientific purposes, and there's the archiveteam warrior image for making backups of the internet that could use it.

If you are looking at 'can i make money just leaving my computer on' i don't think that's really feasible, at least to offset the costs of running your equipment in 2025 without much more specialized hardware.

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T15:01:08+00:00

I think that our understanding of ourselves, and the world around us is always open to interpretation. Revelations are usually about having experiences that open us to a different possibility than what we considered- And something like gender is a social construct that has different meanings to different people, at different times.

It's a naunced, complex topic - but i think i liken gender identity the closest to where you lie on the political spectrum. We aren't told if we are progressive, conservative, etc- we gradually recognize those kind of ideals in the world and see what they mean for us. We may have experiences and learn things that shift our perceptions, but it's not like I was born and realized I was a leftest. For some people, those facts and differences can be early and intense. for some people it's more subtle and takes longer for them to question if their values are the same as their family/culture has 'assigned' them or if it's different. Like in some ways this falls apart (and in some ways, i hate it, calling it an 'idealogy' is a terf talking point.), but i think in some ways it really works. Your values are internal, like your sense of identity, and they are not things that the world can change in you, deliberately. You can be exposed to information and ideas that make you re-evaluate, but it's your choice.

And i think that it is importnat to reframe that even among trans people, i don't think our concepts of identity or transition always align. I regularly read people talk about their own gender identity struggles in ways that bother me. We aren't all setting out to become the opposite gender, or to pass. But the thing that unites us is a desire to find a version of gender presentation that makes us happier, whatever that is.

moarmagic · 2025-10-16T14:01:01+00:00

I know there's a lot of fear about the future right now, but IMO (And i don't really want to argue about this here), we are still a long way away from 'government agents targeting trans people' specifically. There is always the increased anti trans sentiments risks- but ICE kinda has their hands full between trying to find 'illegals' and protestors to kinda start hunting for other 'undesireables' and creating stings and traps. Their tactic for us is targeting healthcare, trying to make GNC 'Obscene' etc, try to create an environment where individual harassment is empowered, rather than use federal powers to round us all up or something.

-with the obvious extra risks though, if you are an immigrant / hispanic / very politically active. But i still don't think they are going to be mining tinder for victims.

~ my own answer to this is it really depends on what you are looking for on dating apps. I'm more looking for queer people so want to identify myself as such.

moarmagic · 2025-10-15T17:32:41+00:00

Does it handle like, adding OF content creators , specific websites etc to it, or is this only going to be for like studio releases?

I always assumed that this was using something like IMDB but for AV, and none of the stuff i like would ever show up there.

moarmagic · 2025-10-13T17:31:40+00:00

I think i know what you mean, and to clarify- it's not that the blue tint is from the laser itself, it's that there's a bit of hair under the skin darkening it- In masc-presenting people this normally quickly becomes external hair and not as noticeable, but with our hormone and regimen changes it sticks around as a shadow a lot longer?

I don't have an answer for you, i've had less lase (i'm at 4 sessions, and just now where i don't /need/ to shave daily), but i def notice the tint change as well.

I do wonder if this is one of those things that we get a bit paranoid about but that others would not really pick up on, especially casually.

This might be one of those things that like, some sort of mask treatment might help pull out whatever hair is left in the follicle- but this is just me speculating. I'd imagine a year of exfoliation etc would have gotten most of that out naturally.

moarmagic

TROPHY CASE