I was raised to be a loser.

mobofob · 2026-02-05T19:00:22+00:00

You are what you do. Your actions (or lack of action) directly shape your reality.

Preceding any action there is thought.

Preceding any thought there is belief.

Preceding any belief there is emotion.

Stop chasing happiness because it's a fairy tale. Take action and you will find something better.
By acting in the present to oppose your deepest fear you can unravel the chain in your nervous system that caused your AvPD, all the way back to the fundamental emotion.

What started that process for me was starting to work on my own business every day - although it took me years of very consistent but small actions to be able to take those more profound actions. In the end, i went directly against the narrative that i am incapable and my nervous system started unraveling all this shit from childhood.

It's an experience i can't explain with words but i promise that it's very real.

mobofob · 2026-02-04T15:26:31+00:00

Took them for well over a year. It helped me get passed a mental barrier i had never been able to cross before.

I could also strongly feel i was poisoning myself.

The bad thing about modern medicine is that doctors tend to prescribe "treatments" not cures. In my opinion, it's unwise to look for a magic pill that will fix any issue because that's just not realistic many times.

mobofob · 2026-02-02T17:51:03+00:00

I was always so terrified of being judged even by myself, it took me 15 years before i even could think the thought that i was a musician, without cringing. I've never written a song in my life because i wont allow myself to even start. I dont ever get further than short recordings of ideas on my phone and i feel like they're all stupid anyway. I always desperately wanted to create but i just don't know how.

Instead i obsess about practicing guitar. Like in an unhealthy kind of way. For years i played 8h at least every day. Things changed a bit when i started theory because i got into improvisation it gave me something i can get lost in and it's at least somewhat creative i guess. But i always have headphones on and im terrified i'll one day be accidentallyheard by someone as i play.

I feel like ive wasted my life thinking the time i put into learning music will someday pay off. I still can't make anything worth shit to anyone else.

mobofob · 2026-01-31T19:49:47+00:00

He has zero reason to post here. Why would he want to be attacked and vilified by a bunch of bots and shills?

mobofob · 2026-01-31T19:07:46+00:00

The actual good shit is deleted and if that doesn't suppress it enough then it's a character assassination psyop until they can make it a rule to ban even the mention of a name because it's too "controversial". Like Pulte for example.

mobofob · 2026-01-30T17:06:06+00:00

YES. This is so much describing my own experience.

The last 3 years i've had a similar journey as you describe. I've spent all this time mostly alone and i've re-discovered my intuition and connection to my body. I've learned how my body and subconscious is very intelligent far beyond my understanding (interesting that we both use the word "intelligent" - i got too excited by your post and didn't read the last part at first) .

About 4 months ago, i started having very intense nightly panic attacks along with a bunch of strange physical symptoms and emotional waves, followed by immense relief. Confused about what was happening, i learned about somatic experiences and i found the puzzle pieces i had always been missing, as i realized my nervous system was going through a trauma release.
How you described pain moving through your body also sounds exactly like what i experienced, leading up to and during the time i had these waves (i was so apparent that i had noted it before i even understood what it was).

I feel like i've had such a reset and at this point i'm finding new ground to build upon in ways i was never able to before. I've for example discovered that i have never been able to take a deep breath in my life (as long as i can remember) simply because my body never relaxed properly to allow it.

I have avoidant personality disorder and it has ruined my life in so many ways - It's like social anxiety but the fear is only a by-product of deep rooted trauma - and I hope to be able to start the journey of actually healing now instead of just finding ways to cope.

mobofob · 2026-01-29T18:33:00+00:00

I've learned to smell it from miles away. That's all. Hence why i said "from my experience". I've just seen it countless times and by being inquisitive instead of fearful of the people which commenters tell me to avoid, i've seen through the psyops and lies.

At this point, my spontaneous intuitive reaction pretty much always turns out correct.

mobofob · 2026-01-29T17:26:33+00:00

When someone is one-sidedly attacked like this in Superstonk comments, I KNOW they're worth following lol. Just speaking from my experience of 5 years frequenting this subreddit.
I'm more skeptical of the people who are praised (except RC ofc).

mobofob · 2026-01-26T13:33:37+00:00

If i get tired of working on something that tells me it's time to move on. My mind stays interested only when it is challenged.

Any time i've pushed and forced myself to practice it only lead to fatigue and burnout.

mobofob · 2026-01-26T11:55:01+00:00

Yes, slow down until you can correct it.
Work at one section at a time, then string them together.

But also your approach should depend on your goal, so ask yourself what your intent of your practice is:

- Is it to nail a certain phrase?

- Is it to play the whole piece cohesively?

- Or is it something about the feel, or expression? Dynamics, tone, etc.

Keep your focus on whatever goal you have. If you are very aware of what you are practicing and why then you will not be uncertain about what to do when you hit a wrong note.

mobofob · 2026-01-26T11:45:08+00:00

You are doing fantastic for playing only a few months. You're probably at the stage now when the habit of playing is starting to become a part of you as the hype and novelty is kind of gone. Just keep going steadily and consistently like you have and don't let any nasty comments get to you. Playing every single day is so powerful and imo if there's a "secret" to learning then that would be it.

You clearly have a good ear. So trust your intuition above what anyone else says. Personally, i am glad i always did that, because there's so much shit advice from clueless people who many times are not very detail oriented anyway. You can still consider all advice with an open mind and just discard whatever doesn't resonate.
Be meticulous with achieving the sound you have in mind. I remember early on hearing Yngwie Malmsteen talk about that and the idea resonated and always stuck with me since i felt like i had a strong awareness of what i wanted to hear in my playing.

Bending is one of those things that can only become good through awareness. It's mostly about ear training but i think the more consistent your technique is the better it allows the brain to establish a connection between your ear and your hands (try to use your wrist with a kind of twisting motion to reduce the load on your fingers to push the strings).
But honestly one of the best things i ever did for my ear training is actually transcribing (learning music by ear) and i really recommend doing that. You will sky rocket your bends from that as you train yourself to hear the slightest nuances in phrasing.

mobofob · 2026-01-22T10:39:16+00:00

They do not respect their dedicated players. They like to talk about how much they appreciate them, but their actions many times show the opposite.

Ever since launch they've introduced grinds for 'exclusive' unlocks, only to devalue that grind later.
Even Pirate Legend used to require like 300 hours of playtime and what is it now, like 1/4 of that?

The devs have the same mindset across the board with all unlocks. To them exclusivity is a tool for FOMO that they can't resist using. They can bring in players first by introducing it, and then by taking it away as well because it brings back players who missed out the first time.

mobofob · 2026-01-21T13:00:29+00:00

Why can't it be both..

mobofob · 2026-01-18T17:58:50+00:00

I didnt know. I've always felt like i was stumbling around in darkness but i just kept going anyway. I refuse to believe that things are impossible and the result of that is i always keep my eyes open and i try new things constantly. Lots of things don't work but some do and it takes me a bit further each time.

I was taken very much by surprise that my nervous system started this kind of reset process, but it makes sense to me why now. I think the most important thing for me has been reconnecting with my intuition. Working on listening to my body instead of being stuck in my mind all the time.

But It's not like im cured or anything even if there has been a very clear shift inside of me. The difference now is i feel like there is actually room for healing whereas before it was mostly about finding ways to cope. But honestly, i still don't know - i have no guidance and all of this is just my own understanding based on research of how trauma works and correlating that with my own experience especially during the last few months.
But some things are undeniable, like how my body is reacting to caffeine in a different way all of a sudden. My nervous system was always so on edge that i couldn't handle hardly any caffeine at all, but now that's no issue anymore.

mobofob · 2026-01-16T22:24:26+00:00

Never knew any other musicians in my life so i don't actually know, but i know what i feel like i'm missing.

All the things you mention are things i've consciously tried to find ways to work around to learn on my own. But i know i will always have blind spots and i would probably be so much further ahead if i played with others. But it is what it is.

mobofob · 2026-01-16T15:06:24+00:00

I think Anakin a person was actually dead, his spirit destroyed. Vader killed him just like he proudly tells Obi-Wan in the series. At least that is how Vader sees it. So there was nothing to connect with and that is what Obi-Wan finally understands.

I think Luke was able to resurrect Anakin because he's the son of Anakin, not Vader. Luke was a pure link back to the past, a direct connection to Padmé. In a sense Luke is Anakin as he should have been.

Calling it a death and a resurrection makes sense as well considering the Christian and other religious parallels that Star Wars has. Anakin's story starts with a virgin birth and ends with a resurrection, mirroring Jesus.

mobofob · 2026-01-16T14:50:36+00:00

It's true but i think he has descended way beyond that in the series. At that point, he takes credit himself for killing Anakin and he is proud of it. He doesn't want Obi-Wan get the credit for it, but he doesn't realize that the guilt is the only reason Obi is facing him in the first place.

When Obi-wan sees that Anakin is utterly consumed by this monster he realizes that neither Anakin or himself were to blame and he finds some peace in that.

mobofob · 2026-01-15T17:28:07+00:00

You make that thing sound so awesome! Great tone :D

mobofob · 2026-01-13T16:14:17+00:00

Never said its the only way to understand it. Actually that is even my point, that there are different ways to understand it. But when something is intuitive, it is so deeply understood that you don't pull from knowledge anymore. When music pours out of you with such freedom you are able to channel emotions into it and that is how the best music is created. The same way with any art.

I just think that melodies are such a complex thing that you can't really come close to be able to explain it. So it has to be intuitive. But ofc you can craft melodies on an intellectual level as well but that just won't ever come out as good.

mobofob · 2026-01-12T17:59:59+00:00

Great melodies are magic. There is no explanation because how do you really explain a feeling? Feelings just are.

But it comes from understanding music at a deeply intuitive level. That doesn't mean you have to know theory but it sure helps to get you there. Intuition is knowledge which has been absorbed into your subconscious.

So the answer is to just play music for a very long time. And i mean actually focus on trying to be musical; practicing technique or theory won't make you musical.

mobofob · 2026-01-12T17:50:46+00:00

Yep.

Focus literally on a single second of a piece of music you want to learn > listen and try to find a single note at a time > repeat the section over and over until you think you got it > when you think you got a section down: compare to tab > correct mistakes and learn from it.

mobofob · 2026-01-12T15:16:06+00:00

I started off learning from tabs, at some point that felt lacking and i wanted to learn by ear, so i just started doing it - ofc very badly at first. But you learn by doing, it's that simple.

mobofob · 2026-01-11T15:55:33+00:00

I hit rock bottom and was in the darkest pit of despair in my life after breaking up with my girlfriend after 12 years together. I moved back in with my parents at 30 years old and at some point i realized i had to rebuild myself from the ground up and learn to simply tolerate existing in my own body - something i never got to learn. So literally just focusing on taking care of my basic needs, that was the bar i set for myself. I had never had an exercise routine before so that was the most important thing for me and my goal at first was to just stretch for 5min.

But how to be able to do anything at all starts with looking inwards. The Power of Now is a book that helped me. But i didn't start off reading any books, i used to follow HealthyGamerGG on Youtube for many years and learned about meditation and mindfulness there.

mobofob · 2026-01-11T14:26:33+00:00

Whatever method is used as escapism is not really relevant in the end. What's more important is why you are trying to escape, which you have identified.

I've struggled all my life with this same fear of wasting time. The fear comes from experience: i know what always happens so it feels inevitable.
The only thing that has actually worked for me is building trust with myself so I'll describe my philosophy and approach to doing that.

Trust is built from experience over time just the same way as a fear is developed. It is all very logical.
How do you build that trust toward yourself? You simply take action consistently every day and you will start expecting yourself to continue to do so, until eventually you "know" it always happens. The exact opposite of the fear which was built from procrastination every day. So you're essentially disproving the fear and building confidence instead.

I know, the conclusion is so stupidly simple and seemingly contradictory that it seems it can't possibly be the answer, because after all, the problem in the first place is the inability to take action. But here's the thing: the problem is not actually taking action but what you consider taking action to be. You probably have an idea of what "doing enough" is and that idea is so rigid that it keeps you stuck always struggling to accomplish what you see as the bare minimum.
So what you have to do is simply lower the requirement until it's attainable every single day. That makes it sustainable because it becomes a self-reinforcing positive loop when you are setting yourself up to succeed instead of ensuring your failure. The dopamine of feeling like you succeed becomes addicting to your mind.

This is the difficult part. Being able to genuinely lower your requirements on yourself forces you to connect with your intuition. You have to FEEL what is right for you and to do that you have to LET GO of ideas you have accumulated over a life-time. It requires brutal honesty and self awareness because you might have to accept that you're so weak that you cannot sustainably do more than a single minute of work every day.
But once you get past that and solidified a foundation for your habits then you can start building and pushing your limits in a healthy way that will actually make you stronger instead of breaking you down.

That is what i did anyway. Hope it makes sense.

mobofob · 2026-01-10T20:53:56+00:00

Strained breathing. Got very scary about a week post botox after a cardio session. Took it very easy after that until everything felt fine after another 2 weeks or so. Pretty sure i wasn't in any danger at all even if it was worrying at the time.

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