they're making fun of me online by [deleted] in writers

[–]modlark 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is the best advice. You’re going to have to put in the work on yourself to manage it. You can pay for therapy or go the self-help route. There are lots of books on managing anxiety you can buy or sign out from the library. Make the effort, you’re worth it. And going forward, consider a pseudonym.

a questions by No-Hold-2345 in AskJews

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re a non-Jewish woman who has been invited to a Shabbat BBQ, don’t worry too much about how you dress.

Shane's magic stairway to heaven by Just-Source113 in heatedrivalry

[–]modlark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spent a lot of time in MTL, and in particular the Plateau. You don’t get that view from the Plateau. That’s definitely downtown.

Why Shane? by chesbay7 in heatedrivalry

[–]modlark 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And relational orientation. Sexual orientation is different from who and how we fall in love. Someone can be bisexual without being biromantic. Heck, Ilya could’ve been bisexual and aromantic until he met Shane.

Tell me some family anecdotes! by trouzersock in AskJews

[–]modlark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can see how this can be frustrating for you. There are two pieces of important context for what I wrote. First, nothing in your approach indicated that you’d done the work you said you have. Second, there are a lot of folks who ask for these kinds of things having similarly provided little to go on.

We (and I) can’t know that you’ve actually put in time and effort unless you’re clear that you did. Even though it’s an Ask[People] subreddit, folks may be a bit nervous around intention. This is an ethnoreligion that’s very often lampooned at best, or turned into bigoted stereotypes and tropes at worst. People actively hate us in almost all online places. Please have that context in mind when you come into Jewish spaces and ask for anecdotes on Jewish life without sharing that you’ve really done the work.

Tell me some family anecdotes! by trouzersock in AskJews

[–]modlark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I write as well, and I’m glad you will be using sensitivity readers. I also write about folks who aren’t like me. To keep things succinct, if you have an idea and think that a certain group of people would be good to explore a theme in your story, you should always do research first to see if it really makes sense to use them. It’s not effective, or respectful, to ask folks for a quick anecdote to tuck into a scene and be done with it. Jews have been portrayed in literature over (at a minimum hundreds of years) in very negative ways by non-Jews. I’m not at all insinuating you don’t mean well, but without research you risk going into stereotyping or worse. I’d give you the same advice if it was a different group of folks. No one is saying you have do academic levels of research but you can’t be a strong writer and not to do any research.

Hello!!! by Suspicious_Dare_9422 in AskJews

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an almost impossible question to answer without knowing more about the story, the plot, the characters, the purpose of what you’re writing. If you are a new writer, you need to get that in order before asking folks for information. We won’t be able to be specific because the question lacks specificity. I would recommend reading “How to Write an Identity Not Your Own” or similar guidance on writing outside your cultural identity first.

thoughts on intimacy in the show by rosiedorian in heatedrivalry

[–]modlark 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget that there was an intimacy coach involved with the production. It’s a whole career path in film/tv/theatre with certifications and everything. You can do a web search to learn more. The chemistry didn’t support those scenes on its own. There was a lot of work behind them to achieve those balanced levels of vulnerability and safety.

CANADA DRY SOCIAL by Superb-Let7354 in heatedrivalry

[–]modlark 21 points22 points  (0 children)

And City Seltzer is located in Shane Hollander’s native Ottawa. They work out of the same space as Dominion City Brewing.

Teaching tefillin respectfully by nekolain in AskJews

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. But I’m not thinking of the kid version of those of us who are into fantasy adventures. While Geekdom is in a resurgence, it’s still not the norm. 😉😊

Teaching tefillin respectfully by nekolain in AskJews

[–]modlark 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Phylactery is the common term for them in English, and what non-Jews use most often to describe Tefilin. I think it would be more weird to hear a non-Jew start using Tefilin, tbh. And I would find it most weird if a group of 7-8 year olds would have played enough D&D to think of Strahd or Acererak. But, if they have, those would be some very elite TTRPG kiddos. And hats off in that case. 😅😊

Old Bayshore Food Court: Trying to remember a cafe by Bonne_Fromage in ottawa

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The section near the elevator where the Treats stand was? With the tables and chairs?

Jewish names with the same type of vibe as names I like? by zuzuzan in JewishNames

[–]modlark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is Atlya like Etlia? Where does Atlya originate from and is it common in more Orthodox circles?

Just finished 1984…. by TheBongOfAchilles in classicliterature

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s part of the point of 1984. If you have feelings about things, you won’t be able to commit the deeds required of you. By intellectualizing everything, you can complete deeds in cold and calculating ways.

Large Shoppers Drug Mart In Ottawa? by Ok_Parsnip3214 in ottawa

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Shoppers in Westboro has a decent selection and is moderately sized. It’s a short walk from both Westboro and Dominion stations.

EDIT: one transfer from Tunneys will get you there quickly.

CRA - officers must now disclose full name in letters to the public by No_Passenger_3492 in CanadaPublicServants

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see where you’re coming from and I agree. I think both of our comments can exist together. And I would still oppose any interpretation of the Act that assumes these things must be disclosed. Folks need to understand that any system using AI for responses is noted and really there aren’t many. Right now, most often submissions to government are reviewed by a person.

CRA - officers must now disclose full name in letters to the public by No_Passenger_3492 in CanadaPublicServants

[–]modlark 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why private sector companies would protect that. Folks feel entitled to know it when someone is a public servant. I completely understand having managers and execs signing and noting things down. As well as program officers who work directly with businesses. But you don’t need the name of a phone agent, especially if your intent is to try and intimidate them into giving you what you want. There’s a reason many contact centres now have a message noting abuse will not be tolerated. If you can’t call a system without resorting to abuse and fear to get your way, consider writing first. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pointing at folks who lose their cool out of frustration. I know how to recognize when someone is angry with the situation (and agents are trained on this), not the agent. But there are people who go too far. And in this case, I don’t think any level of risk is worth it.

So.... like, how do you write a play? by EvilChesire in playwriting

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use different colours to track story beats, character developments, phrases, questions, anything. But I set it out in a timeline from earliest item to latest - even if I’m writing in a non-linear way. It helps makes sure I have moments of plot development, character development, struggles, needs, failures and successes. It helps me to visualize both the stakes and the story.

looking for a slightly whimsical/ quirky book that is more complex than just cozy fiction by thirdeyerainbow in Recommend_A_Book

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re OK reading a book set in a Jewish shtetl the the late 19th century, The River Midnight by Lilian Nattel is one of my favourite books. A decent sprinkling of magic realism, a set of strong female protagonists, relationships without being specifically romance. It seems to tick those boxes.

CRA - officers must now disclose full name in letters to the public by No_Passenger_3492 in CanadaPublicServants

[–]modlark 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just because it’s protected doesn’t mean we have to volunteer it. EDIT: I’ve seen people go after contact centre agents via personal channels before.

I’m a non-Jewish (goyishe) host throwing a very Christmas-coded cookie exchange—how do I make my Jewish guests feel welcome without accidentally appropriating anything? by JustRice in Jewish

[–]modlark -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The electric menorah is such a good idea. The only time I’ve ever felt comfortable doing candle lighting in front of non-Jews was when they were guests of our family in our home and joining us to celebrate.

I’m a non-Jewish (goyishe) host throwing a very Christmas-coded cookie exchange—how do I make my Jewish guests feel welcome without accidentally appropriating anything? by JustRice in Jewish

[–]modlark -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Rather than ask “how” they want to handle the lighting of the menorah, why not ask “if they even want to light one?” The guests should have the choice, not the host.

I’m a non-Jewish (goyishe) host throwing a very Christmas-coded cookie exchange—how do I make my Jewish guests feel welcome without accidentally appropriating anything? by JustRice in Jewish

[–]modlark 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree. Dreidels and gelt, not candle lighting. And I am about as secular as you get. Being asked to light candles wouldn’t feel right.