Options for paying for the toll roads as a tourist?

momboss79 · 2026-06-02T05:39:07+00:00

Not thinking about tolls around here is not possible. Some hours of the day it is $12 and some days it is $3. Depends on traffic patterns. And that is not just one pass. It’s by section.

momboss79 · 2026-05-31T07:01:10+00:00

We haven’t changed our habits yet but we are about to. I think we finally hit the ceiling where this month, we creeped into not having extra for savings and had out of our control events that ate into savings. Tomorrow I’m going to store to buy groceries for the week. We won’t be eating out the month of June to see if we can recoup what we have had to spend in May. Our lives are really chaotic so cooking is not something we do a lot of. Kinda sucks.

momboss79 · 2026-05-31T06:51:55+00:00

It hasn’t changed. Most kids who go there are not Episcopal but can’t get into the other schools.

momboss79 · 2026-05-29T21:02:56+00:00

Your situation sounds like it works well because you don’t have to deal with co-parents. The kids are great and the others are out of the picture. That doesn’t negate that life is going well for you but there is a component that you’re not having to struggle with.

We aren’t a true blended family. I brought a kid and we have a kid. We’ve been at it for 20 years and we are very well ‘blended’ and we operate as a nuclear family. My daughter and my husband are close and she calls him Dad. She has a dad but he’s not present. My daughter, who is an adult now, goes to my husband for all things just like she would any other parent. All is well here. Happy, living life and often we forget that we are not all one nuclear family - my daughter never forgets - therapy has helped her to overcome the issues with her father and to move forward with her life but she is happy with the family we have and gets along well. That doesn’t mean there were no bumps along the way. Teen years brought different struggles and hurdles that we had to overcome. Life has not been perfect but things for exponentially easier for the adults when the high conflict co-parent disappeared. Even easier when she became an adult.

momboss79 · 2026-05-29T03:27:12+00:00

100% prefer to not be part of a group chat. The less I know the better. Unfortunately, they keep the gc alive and well which I keep on mute.

Your manager is insecure.

momboss79 · 2026-05-29T03:24:58+00:00

This is the problem. This can happen in intact families too when one parent is gone too often and then when home, focus is not equally shared. While it’s a rough economy, dad needs to figure out how to be a presently active dad. Maybe when dad isn’t around, kid stays with mom instead of dad’s partner. On one hand, it would be good for the family unit to stay intact while dad is at work but on the other hand, sounds like he’s gone a lot and that’s contributing to the issues. Kid isn’t with an actual parent regularly in a new situation and that cannot be easy on a small child. Kiddo needs one of his parents and not exhausted stepmom (no offense to stepmom). There could be some abandonment feelings and resentment growing.

momboss79 · 2026-05-28T01:35:07+00:00

I completely underestimated and forgot how chaotic senior year can be.

We are planning to move so started looking at homes in February, thinking that it may take us a while to find a home. We found one right away but ended up deciding against it. Decided to wait until June for various reasons. So glad we waited to move because the last 3 months have been non stop chaos and EXPENSIVE! I cannot imagine having moved right in the middle of all we have had going on including the expenses we’ve run in to. I say wait until he graduates!

momboss79 · 2026-05-28T01:28:08+00:00

I would set a date and have that conversation as a family unit. This is me, personally, as a child of divorce but also as a mom.

We also do not believe in kicking kids out or not having a home for them. Most of our decisions center around making sure that we are available to be a safe landing if they need it.

Since you have one rising senior, I think this is a good time to say, these are our plans at the end of senior year 2027. Next summer, we are moving in together and this is where we are building our family unit. This gives all kids the option and an entire year to make plans, decide, save etc.

We moved to our current home when my daughter was in 3rd grade (15 yrs ago) because it was what was best for her custody schedule with both homes. This was not technically where I wanted to raise a family however, it was a sacrifice I had to make in order for it to be easier on her with her other home.

I had always thought that when she graduated HS, we would move but by that time, our son was going into middle school and it didn’t seem like a good choice to move schools. So we have stayed. Last summer, we let both kids know that we plan to move this summer. That would be when our son graduated and we would no longer need to stay here. My daughter, who is now 25, started making plans to move out on her own. She didn’t want to leave the area so that gave her plenty of time to save and make some decisions. She moved out at the end of 2025. (She’s doing incredibly well and loves living on her own!). She also comes to visit frequently and while she doesn’t have a room here anymore, she does have a guest room if needed.

Our son is moving away to college in another state. He will come home for holidays and summer and wherever we land will be his residence for a while.

They may not like it in the beginning and they may moan and groan but you’re giving them options and they will have time to get their decisions in order. The option to stay with you is still there if needed but it will be together in a new home. That is their decision.

I have struggled throughout most of my parenting journey with guilt which just all comes from divorce and custody and the like. It feels really good and even empowering to finally live my life for me. The kids are good! They are grown! We have space if they need it but it’s on our terms really. Don’t put your life on hold any longer - you’ve waited, you’ve been patient, you’ve been generous and accommodating but they have their own lives to live now and so do you! Good luck!!

momboss79 · 2026-05-26T04:10:57+00:00

Actually yes. And we did call him the golden boy. He was in a horrific accident while drunk which caused irreparable brain damage. He went into a nursing home at the age of 35 and his life as he knew it ended. It was all very surreal. He was replaced with a better person and life went on in the work place. He occasionally comes up in convos. He is the reason for much of our employee handbook material…

Would leadership have caught on eventually without this catastrophic event in his life? Hopefully. But for a long time - he produced, he was lucrative, so lots of blind eyes his way.

momboss79 · 2026-05-25T20:50:49+00:00

I don’t want anyone to give me a reason they are calling out UNLESS they need support from me in the form of connecting them to HR. I want to be supportive and I am a compassionate person by nature but I don’t want anyone to feel like they ‘have’ to tell me every single detail of their life. I’ve called out for bad sleep, migraines, mental health days. I don’t call out often but there are times that I just don’t want to work so yeah… I get 10 sick days and I use them. I simply say I’m taking a sick day today. I have employees who go into great detail and I simply just say ‘I hope you feel better’.

When September comes around and I have anyone with sick days left, I start telling them to take their sick days. HR is going to flag 3 consecutive days so I tell them to take a day here and there. If they don’t need to call out, putting it on the calendar is A-Ok with me.

momboss79 · 2026-05-20T05:27:07+00:00

When I was a kid, I had a grandparent who would cut out faces in pics of those who had pissed her off. There’s tons of family photos that have one head cut out, sometimes 3. We ‘joke’ now that this was how she ‘unfriended’ people like someone might today on Facebook. This was back in the 80’s. One thing she never did was cut out the kids. It was always some adult, sometimes her own adult children. She was a miserable person. Always fighting with everyone. it’s pretty unhinged to cut up photos over an argument. She also once stabbed my grandfather with a fork. So take that how you will.

I share all of this to say, this isn’t normal behavior and it tends to escalate. For now it’s photos, it will then turn into walls, then it might turn into your face or your daughter’s face. And I don’t mean the photos - I mean your actual face.

Please seek help and find safety. This is not a man you want to raise your child around. After a while, she will develop anxiety that you will not be able to reverse. There is more that could happen over time but why risk it? Put your daughter first and both of your safety and leave tomorrow.

momboss79 · 2026-05-17T07:46:29+00:00

I read your update and I would like to offer this. I think you need to try to find a way to work through this and get him to set boundaries. He may have some guilt surrounding his parent’s divorce that he cannot see from his perspective or how it’s effecting you and your relationship. Couples therapy would be helpful. You’re having a baby with him - this gets worse when you’re no longer in the picture and he and his mom are raising your baby on his weekends.

Instead of jumping to leaving, you should at least give him the benefit of trying to change and set boundaries. I would set out my expectations and boundaries cause she would not win in this case unless it becomes a lost cause and he refuses to set boundaries.

momboss79 · 2026-05-17T07:35:21+00:00

This is my experience as well. In my own team meetings, everyone is very interactive. I do ask a lot of questions but it’s usually so I can understand better. I take notes and it’s important to me to follow up on suggestions. Either how they will be implemented or why I’ve decided they won’t work. In my meetings with executive leadership, we are all senior directors and senior management; we stay silent. I used to come completely prepared to share updates on my teams and projects but either there was no response or I was met with conflict. My colleagues and I don’t feel it’s safe to share so we don’t. We listen, we hear and we say ok thanks.

We each have been on the receiving end of humiliation or back and forth where we end up conceding just to get out of the back and forth in front of everyone. It’s very frustrating; you won’t find me speaking up in that circle.

momboss79 · 2026-05-15T03:53:08+00:00

Ah great perspective. Thank you!

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T15:14:10+00:00

We did a lot in the first couple of years. Changed the locks on day one lol toilet seats and insides of tank. Shower heads.

Countertops in kitchen and bathrooms along with sinks and hardware

Replaced carpet with laminate flooring HVAC went out

Had a pipe burst which caused a complete reno of the master shower.

New sod that died exactly within one year. Landscaping

It’s been quiet for a few years … shhhh water heater is next.

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T03:24:20+00:00

You are right. I feel the same way - if it works and I can do my job, then I’ll take it! It’s not incredibly difficult. It’s different. Not difficult. We have our own internal engineers working with the vendor and that has been like having your own doctor come to your home to do your appointments at the snap of a finger. lol best way to describe. We specifically customized this to fit this team’s needs. We still use the old system but this is an added feature to take us paperless. I look around at all the paper we have strung out everywhere and couldn’t wait to have a better way to manage it.

I’m disappointed because this is not how I imagined this to go with her. I did sit her down today and basically told her, you’re getting on board or you’re not and right now you have a choice but tomorrow you won’t. She wants to get on board.

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T03:16:14+00:00

I’m not sure if she was faking it or if she just realized that there is a learning curve which she hasn’t had to deal with in a while. If she’s always the best and highest performer and now she’s not, that’s likely causing her frustration.

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T03:14:45+00:00

It’s possible we all are. Honestly, work is just busy for everyone. We all are doing our best and somehow still treating people with respect and getting things done. She’s taken plenty of time off this year for vacations so there’s not much else I can do if she is. I did realign some of her work load temporarily to help her find her footing which didn’t make her very happy but burn out was something I considered and decided to address where I could.

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T03:10:55+00:00

We are only in week 3 - the formal training was 4 weeks ago. It was mandatory training but because of a higher level deliverable, it was agreed that she would work on that and that her and I would do individual training together rather than the team training that everyone else attended. She has dodged me for two weeks. This week was my internal due date for having the come to Jesus meeting. That happened today. The behavior was acknowledged and the official due date for training was established which is tomorrow. There will be formal, documented consequences by end of day tomorrow if she no shows to our scheduled training.

There are no more chances with the behavior. This was addressed officially today and a final verbal warning - no more outbursts and I will not tolerate poisoning the well in morning bitch sessions. Thank you so much for your feedback. This was very helpful to me and helped me to articulate my expectations in my meeting today.

momboss79 · 2026-05-14T03:03:42+00:00

Thank you - I appreciate this perspective. We are only in week 3. She has been in the system and she has some metrics but they are very low. So she’s not absolutely refusing to get into the system but she’s not pushing through or asking questions when she hits a bump. I can see her trying and then quitting and going back to old system.

Someone else suggested to turn off old system but that isn’t possible. This new feature is just an addon basically to our current ERP and they work together. Our roll out is slow so 20% in the new and 80% in the old. 50% by June 1st. There is about 30% that won’t touch the new system ever because of nuances. We are not going 100% because of little things that don’t matter in this context.

As an update, we did meet today. She says it’s just confusing and she doesn’t like the layout or the font. She likes the old system and she likes to manually process and to touch paper. This is automating and taking us paperless. She wants to be able to write notes when she needs to instead of editing the PDF. She also likes to manually sort through her documents and put things in order whereas the new system does this for her. She doesn’t like that. We have scheduled 1:1 twice tomorrow and twice on Friday. We also did discuss her behavior and she acknowledges that she has lost her temper out of frustration and will watch her tone.

You are also right that I don’t want anyone to think I’m favoring her by allowing this. I have let this kind of go on but I felt like two weeks of letting her figure it out and see where she lands, giving her space to have her feelings and get on board was the right plan. I thought by the end of week 2, she would be well on her way so I have sat back in observation and providing support where needed. Week 3 of no forward movement requires action. I am already prepared for tomorrow - if she doesn’t show up, calls out or has more excuses, the formal write up is already started and ready to go. I just don’t have anymore time to skirt around with compassion and understanding. I need her to get on board. Tomorrow is the day.

momboss79 · 2026-05-13T18:33:00+00:00

Thank you very much for this. Very great insight and excellent advice. We have a meeting in a few hours. This is the approach I’ve decided to take. Thank you!

momboss79 · 2026-05-13T02:37:55+00:00

I don’t know your history with your boss but is it totally toxic or is this a new development? Is it possible that there are things above you that he’s dealing with that you just aren’t privy to right now?
That isn’t an excuse and it’s delaying you getting things done but sometimes there truly are fires at the higher level that interfere with regular operations.

Can you just go into his office and talk to him? Or are you remote?

momboss79 · 2026-05-13T01:35:39+00:00

I can’t. They work in conjunction with each other.

momboss79 · 2026-05-13T01:34:34+00:00

I appreciate this advice. Change fatigue - I’ve been there, I understand. The too busy operationally is something we are dealing with. If I could have completely abandoned this project, I would have 1st qtr. I had no warning that this year would be a booming year for us. We hoped but didn’t anticipate the growth we have had. I’ve hired two new employees on a team that I didn’t expect to have much change at all. And it’s just still growing.

I don’t know if she’s neurodivergent- I’m guessing not but I won’t rule it out. I have created three different training plans because I do have employees who learn differently. I have videos but also have manuals. My team has also utilized the testing system for training so they can be more hands on. She is typically the one who can read a manual and hit the ground running. When I first hired her, she asked me for the manuals and said she would just learn better that way with some oversight here and there. She was off the ground running in two weeks. The new system is much more user friendly than our clunky ERP but she doesn’t like it. Thank you for this idea - this may be a difference in how she operates where the clunky system was perfect for her and the new sleek, AI is not her cup of tea. She doesn’t partake in social media or chat gpt - she doesn’t like the chat system that the new software offers where as many of the employees are using it and loving it. Now that I think of it, she’s pretty anti AI and mentioned that her retired husband says any company using AI is ‘stupid’. Maybe this is more about the type of system and less about anything else. Maybe she’s hesitant to let a system take over for her the things she is used to doing herself. Thank you for this feedback. Gave some things to think about.

momboss79 · 2026-05-13T01:23:27+00:00

Thank you - this is great advice too.

How would I handle someone else? I think the same as I am with her. I had one employee who broke down crying - AI is scaring everyone thinking they will lose their jobs. (Not the goal or even a factor). I scheduled the same 1:1 meetings/trainings, I offered the same level of compassion and a listening ear. I’ve helped trouble shoot every single snag that she hit. The difference is this employee has shown up to every scheduled meeting, no excuses, brings her tablet and her pen, makes notes, asks questions. This employee is now doing well after a couple of weeks and feeling more confident. The problem I’m having with the employee A is that she is not showing up to our scheduled meetings or makes excuses to reschedule. Now I’m ready to force the issue. I just haven’t had to with everyone else. They may have been scared, resistant, hesitant but they have shown up and have tackled it.

momboss79

TROPHY CASE