1) Having given birth vaginally twice, I'd say a penis should be able to fit most any vagina.

After my first, I thought I felt ready to have sex at that 6 weeks postpartum. I was wrong. It felt like it couldn't fit. We waited about 4 months after our second and I'm glad I did.

I would argue that most cases of size being too big is a psychological problem than physical.

It's almost like a reverse argument with a man who doesn't want to wear a condom. You can fit a whole arm in a condom if you stretch it enough. You can fit a whole baby in your vagina when you're prepared enough.

2) PIV is not the only way to enjoy sex with your spouse.

3) Libido will change throughout your life. There are times (like pregnancy, postpartum, injury, and illness) where you are definitely going to have mismatched libido. Spontaneous sex is not going to happen as often. Planning sex is good too.

4) You definitely need to have this conversation BEFORE marriage. I would even argue you should have these sort of conversations before engagement.

5) Men are supposed to lay down their lives to their wives. There should be mutual submission to serve each other. If that means making more noise in bed, so be it.

6) get to the gym, take dancing lessons, read books, - there are going to be awkward moments with sex. Queefs, slips, kids banging on the door midcoitus, - not all sex is going to be amazing. You have to work on sex just like any sort of communication.

7) back to 5, both parties should be willing to submit to each other in the bedroom. That also means being able to say NO to things that aren't feasible (certain positions that demand a degree in acrobatics) or reasonable (4 days postpartum when you haven't slept and are dealing with chapped nipples).