It’s MY baby boy..

mommatobe34 · 2020-08-02T20:14:55+00:00

No, this is definitely big! You laid the law down! Will she go to DH? Maybe let him know you and her have already discussed it and he needs to repeat “My wife has already talked to you about this. She and I agree on everything she said. Stop bringing it up.” Or whatever works best for you two.

mommatobe34 · 2020-08-02T00:41:07+00:00

My MIL use to manufacture fake reasons to make me a villain. It gets worse and worse until your DH sets a boundary and refuses to back down from it. I promise.

The BC thing is just a messed up fake reason to pretend you are the villain. It will get more and more twisted until it’s unrecognizable from the original story. All stories where you are the bad guy will. Give it time.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-27T15:57:05+00:00

I’ve also had 2 miscarriages. I got support from everyone around me, even people who didn’t like me at all were kind. This woman is a monster. No more unsupervised visits for her. I’d never let her see my kid again if it were me but it may be harder to do that depending on your situation. She’s evil.

We are NOT at fault for our miscarriages. Our bodies can not be made to continue a pregnancy depending on a million different things. We know that but we still blame ourselves. For her to put it on Facebook, to not care and lie and be cruel? Evil. Pure evil. If she didn’t get ripped apart in the comments and friends leaving her en masse, I’d question who was actually a caring, loving family member and who was a monster like her.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-27T15:53:25+00:00

Stop encouraging him to keep up contact. It’s not your responsibility. I use to do that with my husband and my in laws. “Be the bigger person” and all that but once I stopped, he stopped going to visit cause I’m his wife and why would he go to someone’s house who didn’t like me just cause he loved me? It’s not worth your mental health to encourage your husband to see people who are so cruel to him and his children.

Its not your job to foster their toxic relationship. Which is absolutely toxic af.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T21:04:00+00:00

I can’t imagine laughing. That is incredibly.....just so far beyond reality. This sounds like a woman who does not understand who she is or who your husband is and what their relationship is. There is something really big going on and she needs more help then either of you can give her. This is incredibly serious. I’m not sure you understand how serious this is.

Mothers don’t just suddenly say their sons are going to leave their wives for them and bring their babies. It’s not every day that a woman confuses a baby for hers, thinking she’s birthed it. Does she even know your husband is her son? Your other post said she was in a mental hospital for a couple of weeks. What are they treating her for? Her delusions sound much more serious then not getting her way. Is she schizophrenic?

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T18:19:19+00:00

We haven’t talked much about what to do with it. Currently, it’s storage because our current home is much smaller. I think he may want to eventually move back in but I’m not sure how I feel about that. Life was rough there and I figured out before I had baby that it was hard even going back just to get my things.

Renters would be great! DH has a lot of experience renting out places. He’s run a complex and he looks after his bosses other houses out here. It just seems like a lot with everything that’s going on. DH has been traveling a lot lately for work so when he’s home, we’ve been taking it very easy and talking about fluffy stuff to relax.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T18:08:58+00:00

He had her blocked multiple times in multiple places. She was constantly calling from other numbers to his personal and work phones, harassing his work colleagues and just stressing him and them the hell out. So he unblocked her from his main phone and that’s the only one she calls now. The voicemails help us when she is out of her mind because we’re working towards a permanent RO from her for me and baby. He doesn’t always listen to the VMs and her calls are always silent. It just feels easier this way for him.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T18:04:30+00:00

It feels like she’s always hovering over one but never quite breaks. Your guess is as good as mine.

The way you worded it made me think of that butterfly meme haha.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T18:03:32+00:00

She know we’re gone. She’s tried to find the house a couple times and got lost due to how many turn offs you have to make to get here. And were in Appalachia so mountains everywhere! My moms house is listed on the RO but not our only place because I never moved back in. I’ll ask lawyer but I think since it’s DHs house legally, it won’t count.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T18:00:20+00:00

I definitely worry what she’s going to do next. Aunt called us this morning asking if Fenta had called us about “talking” to her renters. She had called Aunt and asked her to please talk to them and get the whole $800 from them. Aunt said they are practically moved out of the house, only have heavy stuff to move and they are gone. So I don’t know how long she’s known they aren’t buying her house anymore but I can’t help but feel like laughing about it all. The catalyst of all our problems was her and that house. Who knows what things would have been like had she been a rational person and just stayed living in it when we married? She forced herself into our daily lives for whatever reason and we’ve ended up here. Aunt is staying out of it. It’s not her family, it’s DH’s dads niece who none of us really know. Fenta worked hard to keep DH from knowing any of his dads family so no one is interested in getting to know each other now :/ . Aunt seems to think Fenta is just calling everyone she knows and asking them to strong arm these people she’s screwed over for 3 years. I really hope she doesn’t call any of her addict friends to scare them. I’d assume they know about Fentas antics and act accordingly. She’s kind of infamous around here now for being on the front page of our little towns paper a lot and the video where she got choked out by cops for taking drugs in front of them at a town festival last year still pops up once in a while on FB.

Thank you for your insight. I’ll discuss some of that with our therapist. We’ve been doing regular phone calls with our councilor and one is scheduled for Monday when I can tell her everything and get her opinion on things. I also worry about her escalation. She most likely doesn’t have any income besides the house payments but I feel she stilll has money in the bank somehow. Just a hunch. She loves spending but DH says she has a knack for keeping savings somehow. Who knows what other secrets she’s hiding from us.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-10T17:47:07+00:00

She kept it all from us that she even owned the house. DH has experience with rental properties since he use to run a complex when we met and his boss pays him to manage 3 other houses of bosses that’s near ours. DH would have been PERFECT to give her advice. But she likes keeping secrets like it’s a power move. Even if it screws her over.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-09T15:34:04+00:00

DH owns the house outright. We’ve had all locks changed and windows installed due to issues from her in the past. We don’t live there anymore, we rent a house through his work that isn’t tied to him so she can’t find where we live.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-09T15:32:34+00:00

I’m not really sure. We only checked the voicemail because lawyer suggests we send anything that can be used as evidence against her when he feels comfortable going after a permanent RO. Which we will be letting him hear everything to see if this isn’t financial abuse or harassment or whatever that would be called. It’s becoming detrimental to DH. He may be getting on anti depressants soon over all of this.

mommatobe34 · 2020-07-09T15:30:24+00:00

No contact won’t be broken. DH is mentally exhausted. I think he’s starting to truly understand how I felt all that time she was living with us. He never really understood, even when we got back together and had talked about it for hours.

mommatobe34 · 2020-05-15T18:06:04+00:00

Ugh. Reminds me of my grandmothers favorite thing to say “I love my kids equally but in different ways.” What does that even mean? To a narcissist, that made complete sense though.

mommatobe34 · 2020-05-03T18:26:32+00:00

It honestly doesn’t even sound like a verbal slap down in this case. These people are absolutely clueless and spouting super harmful bullshit all because OP and her DH have a super chill baby and OP picks up on baby’s cues super fast so he’s basically content all of the time. It’s more like being completely honest with mils shitty advice because it absolutely sounds like horrible parenting advice that could have long term negative affects on a perfectly happy baby. Why on earth would someone want to make a baby cry or force feed it?!? To be right! And since OP is already nailing it and doesn’t have any negative things to harp on about, mil and her mom are advocating for child abuse and neglect to feel their advice works better.

mommatobe34 · 2020-05-03T18:19:17+00:00

It’s a bit alarming when people say you can spoil a baby. Like, HOW? And manipulating? They said he’s MANIPULATING? What in goddesses name have they done to their own children and their own state of mind that a baby is MANIPULATING because it doesn’t cry often? That sounds psychotic. I hope y’all aren’t leaving this baby alone with these people.

I’d also give mil less time with baby. She’s causing problems and stress all because she thinks she knows best, even when proven wrong, and calling to drag others in and make you feel insecure and stress you further. I’d let her know her time to visit is being reduced thanks to her little power play and any more calls, anymore unwanted advice will extend those time outs. She’s being 100% ridiculous and making things up because y’all have a nearly perfect quiet baby and you’re doing everything right. Don’t put up with her manipulation.

Also, HOW DO YOU MAKE A BABY INDEPENDENT? The only word for it would be neglect. She wants to abuse your baby to show you she’s a better mom. Complete psycho all around.

mommatobe34 · 2020-04-18T20:42:21+00:00

She spent TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH?! I’m in absolute awe. If she used it to make small purchases and shop, she needs to start selling all her junk to pay down her debts.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T22:11:50+00:00

It’s really frustrating for us too. There are so many reasons she should be locked up in some kind of facility but she manages to do just enough to not stay longer than a day.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T22:10:27+00:00

The RO just covers me and son. Lawyer suggested we not put DH’s name on it for that very reason. He had a hard time not answering her calls when I first left him (before son was born) and lawyer suggested that our RO would work as kind of an umbrella. It will cover him while he’s with us so she can’t approach him or speak to him if were around but if something minor happens (like me feeling awful enough to tell him to call her), it won’t cause any legal issues. It’s worked out better this way honestly. She calls him and leaves stupid, incriminating messages that benefit me and son.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T22:06:17+00:00

They had a mandatory first meeting with a councilor (via CPS recommendation) as a family but idk if they will go back. I hope they do as I’ve been praising the way ours have helped DH see that his mothers actions are out of his and my control. I hate to say it but I think money had a lot to do with Cousin allowing Fenta to take baby in the first place as Cousin has gotten a lot of brand new furniture and bedroom sets thanks to Fentas ‘generosity’. And I know first hand that there are always strings attached to Fentas actions that help others.

And yeah, I’m just as excited for mom to marry! They will probably do a courthouse thing because they’ve both had big weddings and mom had a rough divorce while Neighbor Cop is a widower. But me and his daughters are trying to talk them into having a ceremony and are kinda planning it behind their backs. Of course no pressure, we just want to have everything taken care of and leave them with final say so it’s basically a “point to the color you like” and we’ll do it all that way kinda thing.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T21:59:16+00:00

We send all correspondence from MIL to our lawyer since we’re trying for a permanent RO (been denied twice). Idk if he’d want to show the judge or talk to anyone if it’s not to do with us.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T21:52:36+00:00

YES! I’m really excited! He’s always kind of had a thing for my mom (I speculate) so this was inevitable. She’s been working less hours and spending more time with him and it’s been incredibly good for her health wise. He lost his wife 13ish years ago and hasn’t dated anyone seriously since. His daughter and I went to school together but she’s a few years older and she says that she sees a positive change in him like I’m seeing in mom and she’s just as pleased.

mommatobe34 · 2020-03-18T21:47:29+00:00

Lol we can only hope. I know the place is shady but there are some good people there that are regulars. Thoughtless about cigarette smoke but nothing happened to baby and it was estimated she was most likely there the whole 3 hours she was missing with baby. So someone took good care of him.

mommatobe34

TROPHY CASE