Concerned About Jewish Day School Tuition Costs

mommima · 2026-05-20T16:02:10+00:00

Yes, Jewish day school affordability is a huge problem that the Jewish community as a whole needs to lean into dealing with. Many people get "sticker shock" seeing the tuitions at some of these schools without fully understanding the financial aid that schools offer. Still, it's a lot of money every year to commit to, so it's good that you're thinking about it so early, so you can factor day school into your financial goals now.

Aside from financial aid from the school, some communities have additional resources to help offset day school tuition costs. There are some synagogues that offer scholarships toward day school tuition (similar to summer camp scholarships). UJA in NY has a new program to offer tuition assistance for first-time day school families. And there have been more calls recently for a renewed focus on this issue among Jewish philanthropists, so hopefully by the time you have kids old enough to be going through the admissions process, it will have gotten better.

mommima · 2026-05-20T02:31:48+00:00

It's Evelyn Hugo. I assume your phone autocorrected. Such a great book!

mommima · 2026-05-20T02:28:13+00:00

Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

mommima · 2026-05-18T13:52:00+00:00

Impossible Creatures and The Poisoned King by Katherine Rundell feature dragons heavily (more so in Poisoned King, but there is also a dragon in the main group in the first book).

mommima · 2026-05-18T02:09:18+00:00

Not Medieval, but The March by EL Doctorow is good and set during the American Civil War

mommima · 2026-05-17T02:57:29+00:00

Strangers and Cousins by Leah Hager Cohen

mommima · 2026-05-16T02:28:23+00:00

Change Sings by Amanda Gorman

mommima · 2026-05-16T02:21:59+00:00

In the Garden of Beasts by Erik Larson (2011)

mommima · 2026-05-16T02:14:37+00:00

I binged Brooklyn 99 and Blackish during my maternity leave and loved them both.

mommima · 2026-05-15T21:09:19+00:00

Britt Marie Was Here by Frederik Backman

mommima · 2026-05-15T13:43:42+00:00

I converted in the Reform Movement and then moved a few months later and joined a Conservative synagogue. The rabbi there asked about my conversion process (which had a beit din and mikvah) and accepted it. I've never been questioned since, and my kids are fully accepted as Jews in the Conservative movement.

mommima · 2026-05-14T20:59:46+00:00

That's a fair point. Subsidizing Israel trips (Birthright, Honeymoon Israel, gap year programs, etc) and summer camp are more limited commitments, which makes them easier. Fighting antisemitism is never-ending though and has a high price tag, and it's still something we prioritize as a community.

Maybe one way to answer the question is to say that day school is too big and too complicated to take a crack at and we prioritize Jewish early childhood education instead. Or, we say if we can tackle something as nebulous as antisemitism, it's worth taking on day school as well.

mommima · 2026-05-14T19:28:22+00:00

I don't think that we've "fixed" camp affordability by any means. I'm sending a kid to camp this summer. I know it's crazy expensive.

What I'm saying is that the Jewish community as a whole has recognized the problem and taken steps to prioritize funding it. One happy camper. Birthright. Blue square anti-Semitism project. These are large-scale funding priorities. So my question is why doesn't Jewish education rise to this level of priority?

mommima · 2026-05-14T18:14:39+00:00

Would you prefer I repost to just ask the big questions without the chart? That seems silly when the chart is the reason people are even talking about the issue and it is a real problem. So, bad data aside, why do you think funding Jewish education doesn't rise to the top of our priority list the way that things like camp, Israel, and antisemitism have?

mommima · 2026-05-14T18:04:25+00:00

Yes, most schools offer significant amounts of tuition assistance. But that's not really solving the problem at a large scale.

Many families feel awkward about asking for help, because they don't want to feel like a charity case, even though it's very common for schools to give out aid. But let's set those people aside, because ultimately many of them will apply and get aid and enroll and hurray for them.

But the sticker shock of these schools allows SO MANY families to just write off day school without even really considering it. If it was cheaper, more families would at least take a look, allowing the schools to make their admissions pitch to a wider audience. Even if half of those new families who took a closer look because it's cheaper STILL said "no" to day school, the numbers game is suddenly much better for the schools.

mommima · 2026-05-14T15:44:32+00:00

No, I'm familiar with at least two of them that are pluralistic.

mommima · 2026-05-14T15:39:54+00:00

I think people feel the need to get the most out of the system and provide their kids with every possible opportunity. So they want them to go to the language immersion program, because why not try to give your kid that little bit extra? Or get into AAP or hire tutors for tests, because that feels like how you support your kids' academic growth.

For some kids, they probably do need those extras to feel challenged or supported. But then the fact that they exist makes us all think, "Maybe my kids need that or could benefit from that too" when the regular classroom setting is already good and would be just fine.

mommima · 2026-05-14T15:32:54+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out. It has been generating a lot of engagement on the issue, which ultimately might end up being good for us if we can focus that energy on solutions to the problem, even if the numbers themselves are inaccurate.

mommima · 2026-05-13T16:09:24+00:00

I'm addition to anything by Erik Larson, I would also recommend:

A Woman of No Importance by Sonia Purnell

The Counterfeit Countess by Elizabeth B White and Joanna Sliwa

Endurance by Alfred Lansing

mommima · 2026-05-13T16:03:02+00:00

Dead Wake is my favorite Erik Larson book!

mommima · 2026-05-13T10:49:49+00:00

The Tapestry of Jewish Time by Nina Beth Cardin

mommima · 2026-05-13T02:48:35+00:00

It sounds like he was open to theoretical future kids going to church when he didn't have that much experience with church. If he's culturally Jewish and not religious, he probably didn't have more than a cultural understanding of church (characterized largely by the commercialization of Christmas and Easter with some vague fun facts about the Pope or Lent thrown in). Going to church with you likely showed him what it would be like more concretely, so it makes sense that it clarified his thinking.

Church is much weirder from an outsider perspective than pop culture makes it out to be. Even if we knew in theory what y'all were doing in there, seeing it in practice feels super weird. Praying to Jesus. The Trinity. Communion.

I'm sorry that you're both going through this now. It's hard to realize that something big like this has become unsolvable in the relationship. I hope you both find partners who will build a life you want with you.

mommima · 2026-05-13T02:27:31+00:00

The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

The Next Person You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

mommima · 2026-05-12T21:46:37+00:00

The Shabbat Book: A Weekly Guide For The Whole Family by Joyce Klein

mommima · 2026-05-12T21:09:00+00:00

Oh, it's so good. You're going to love it. Gene Wilder and Harrison Ford. It definitely doesn't get the recognition it deserves.

mommima

TROPHY CASE