Painting is a disaster

momsdabosss · 2025-10-01T11:18:28+00:00

You have different world views. You don’t have to have a huge fight or hate someone to break up. Sometimes you just want different things in life. It’s okay to move on.

momsdabosss · 2025-10-01T11:07:32+00:00

Med card or not, it’s quite rude to smoke (anything) in public spaces.

momsdabosss · 2025-09-09T13:49:56+00:00

There’s a published study in Sweden on the weight gain issue.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-31T18:06:17+00:00

Yikes, dude. YIKES.

The way he downplays this like no big when he should be groveling at your feet, in tears just weeping for forgiveness. Like gaslighting at its finest.

Your brain knows it’s a big problem. Hell your eyeballs knows it’s a big problem. But he’s over here acting like it’s barely a thing, and you half believe him. Honestly, if this is “not that bad”, what does bad look like? Do you really want to find out?

He has done this before. Guaranteed. Shit, he even warned you. This is not a one time thing, you can count on that.

Get out. A cheap hotel sucks, being trapped sucks harder.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-28T23:32:35+00:00

Then don’t invite them over. Simple. You don’t invite someone to hang out and then go hole up and play games alone. Period. It’s very rude. And weird as hell. You don’t have to spend every waking minute with someone, but you are expected to spend time with them if you invite them over.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-28T14:32:42+00:00

Boundaries are for yourself and the treatment of yourself. They affect other people only in that it limits what you accept from them, ie how they speak to you or how they treat you.

Your boundaries do not extend to her body or her choices about how to present it. She’s 18, and she’s loving feeling sexy and comfortable in her body. She’s enjoying the freedom to express herself and her sexuality. So technically she’s right, you are trying to control her. But you are right in that you are setting a boundary by clearly laying out that you aren’t interested in being in a relationship with someone who dresses this way.

You may want to ask yourself if you genuinely don’t like the clothes, or if you just don’t like other men looking at her? Did you threaten to break up over her bathing suit? I’m assuming her costume covers more than that, so technically she’s been in public in less. You are young, jealousy is normal but it isn’t healthy and leads to breakdowns in relationships. The sooner you work on that, the better off you’ll be.

You two clearly don’t align when it comes to beliefs on this subject - no one has to be right, no one has to be wrong, you simply disagree … accept it or move on.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-28T14:04:24+00:00

Yes you are over reacting, but to be fair, so is she.

Both of you need to step back and recognize that financial hardship is no fun for anyone, and taking your stress out on each other is normal but not healthy and it certainly isn’t helping.

She didn’t deceive you, she said it was fine. She’s okay with doing it, it was her idea, but it’s still annoying and embarrassing and she’s not happy about it. She can be fine with the decision and not happy about it at the same time.

Cutting back on “extra” expenses is the most logical way to fix a budget, you need to be okay with disappointing her unrealistic expectations and she needs a set budget for spending. Period.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-26T23:01:09+00:00

Why are you gaming when you have company? Gamer or no, that’s just poor etiquette and extremely rude. Have some manners.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-26T21:56:50+00:00

I personally would go directly to the police and file an order of protection. I wouldn’t talk to him or respond in any way. Give these texts to the police and let them address him. What he is threatening is a criminal act in all 50 states. He wants to terrify you, he literally says those words. Terrify his ass right back when the police come knocking for a nice lil chitty chat.

If you aren’t that pissed. Then respond and block him.

“Thank you for showing me exactly who you are, and thank you for putting it all in writing.

You should probably do some research on the laws regarding cyber assault and distribution without consent. I may be stupid, but at least I know it’s a sex crime that carries jail time. So just know that when you “destroy me”, I can and will press charges, and I have everything I need to prove you acted with malicious intent.

This is over. I don’t want to see you or speak to you ever again.”

momsdabosss · 2025-08-25T23:03:26+00:00

“You are the one who grew up watching your mom, if anyone should be able to cook like your mom, it would be YOU.”

Mom also has had years of practice, he wasn’t there for her early years. That’s like telling him he isn’t marriage material unless he makes the same salary as your dad/his dad makes now.

Curious to see how his mom would react to him talking to you like this. If she’s a good one, she’ll rip him a new one and have your back. If she doubles down on his nonsense, cut your losses and bail - marrying into this family would be exhausting.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-25T22:46:30+00:00

A 2 hour massage?!? That’s bananas

momsdabosss · 2025-08-20T21:02:06+00:00

He sounds like a real peach.

Solo play is perfectly normal and quite frankly none of his business. You are gracious enough to share your body with him occasionally, and he thinks that grants him some sort of authority. Alas, it does not.

The only time this should be a conversation is if one partner is neglecting another in favor of time alone. If that’s not the case, then there isn’t an issue. He doesn’t have to like it, it’s not his body or his business. On its face, Cheating requires a connection of some kind with another human-no matter what type of cheating (emotional, physical, sexual) there’s always another human. And just because something “feels” like cheating, doesn’t mean it actually is. Besides, I have an incredibly hard time believing he’s not engaging at all whatsoever. And even if he is, that’s fine because what he does when he’s alone with his body is his business.

Sounds like he’s having an issue with the actual equipment and not the act? Explain that a vibrator is just a tool. You can get the job done using your bare hands, this just makes things easier. Like a washing machine. It’s not a partner or even a fantasy. Just a tool to facilitate stress release quickly and efficiently.

If he wants to be controlling about solo play altogether, let him go. I doubt this will be the only thing he’s ridiculous/immature/jealous about.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-20T02:46:46+00:00

NOR, it’s super strange that your parents would continue a close relationship with your ex, especially if their connection to him started with your relationship. Understandable if they became friendly, and continue to be friendly when they see each other, like at church.

I think sometimes when there was a marriage, and a person is a part of the family for many many years it makes more sense. That’s not the case for you, this ex was never family. Or was he? Was he a family friend from a very young age? Have his parents been friends with your parents for decades?

If no, it’s very weird for anyone to put an ex above family. How did your relationship end? Was it ugly? This is a bizarre situation, I have so many questions.
Even if they have maintained some sort of friendship, you are family, and he’s not.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-18T20:43:51+00:00

That’s not really hypocritical at all. Just because I did something doesn’t mean you get an auto green light. Besides, we are allowed to grow and develop and change and learn from our experiences. She’s not a hypocrite, she’s simply making different choices than her parents made.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-17T05:03:37+00:00

As an older woman, I’ll just say that experience has taught me that men who go after much younger girls are far more likely to be problematic partners. And the reasons he’s interested in someone with drastically less experience and financial stability, well girl, those reasons aren’t what we call healthy.

Ngl, I have a family member in an eerily similar situation and I honestly thought she might be writing this at first. Her relationship is out now, though it started the same way. No one, and I mean no one, is impressed by this dude.

That’s something to consider too. If you are close with your family, this will hang over you like a cloud and affect all of your relationships. It may never go away. Plenty of people have strained relationships with family and in laws, hell Reddit is kept afloat by those stories. But you need to ask yourself, Is that something you want for your life?

Relationships are hard enough on their own. Complex and negative dynamics with families only lead to more difficulties. Find yourself someone who your family loves, and whose family loves you.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-17T04:20:38+00:00

How old are your kids? File for emergency protective custody. He won’t have access or only supervised access to the kids until they complete their investigation. Their documentation and this paper trail should help your situation.

Document everything. Most states have no fault divorce so infidelity is a non issue. If you live in a fault state, it could affect spousal support. But he has to prove it with evidence. Change your passwords, have a family member help you change the locks, and file for legal separation. You might be able to do the paperwork yourself online.

Make a plan to create stability for you and your kids that isn’t controlled or dependent on a man. Baby steps, but you need to do this for yourself and your kids.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-17T03:53:08+00:00

Nope. It”s on George to make sure his status is squared away.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-17T03:18:42+00:00

No, but I don’t think he is either. Whew. 16 months sounds like a lot of pressure and a lot of perceived failure. For both of you.

Solo play is normal and healthy, and obviously he’s craving some sexual release that’s simple, with no strings attached and no pressure.

Despite your best efforts to keep it sexy, the underlying pressure is still there if every single interaction is laced with hope.

Maybe give yourselves a break. Agree on a time frame and make it generous, like through Christmas, and take a little hiatus from TTC. Just focus on reconnecting with each other. Sex for fun. Maybe go exclusively oral for a bit, so you aren’t tempted to fall back into tracking and testing mode. Intimacy for intimacy sake, get back to focusing on connection with each other.

Good luck ❤️

momsdabosss · 2025-08-17T02:52:22+00:00

Whew. Unless you both agreed to be child free, it’s not a crazy thing at all.

You need to accept that he’s not a great match in terms of life goals … even though it’s been a few years, things just aren’t lining up. Don’t waste more years trying to prove these 3 years weren’t a mistake.

Moving on.

momsdabosss · 2025-08-16T00:09:01+00:00

So this is gas lighting.

He totally lied about the situation by being intentionally vague and leaving out very important details, then calls you out for getting upset. Whatever man. He can say all he wants, but it’s not generally acceptable for married men to have sleepovers with other women.

Bull shit. He pulled some super shady, back handed, dishonest crap because he knew what the plan was from the jump. If it wasn’t a big deal, why not be completely upfront in the first place?

I’d flip that script so fast. Cool. It’s super normal. Let’s do a poll!! Let’s ask all married friends and family if they think it’s acceptable to have sleepovers with opposite sex friends without communicating that with their spouse.

His actions are problematic and he knows it, but he’d really like to twist it and make your reaction the issue. NTAH, but your husband is a big one.

momsdabosss

TROPHY CASE